I'm at my wit's end with my eldest sister (she's 42) and need some advice. I pretty much know what I am going to hear, but it helps to get different people's perspectives on things, especially given that I am pregnant and I'm highly sensitive right now. Background in a nutshell is she lives in Los Lunas (very small town), NM, her marriage is crap, her two kids are spoiled rotten hellions who don't get disciplined at all (example - my 4 year old nephew kicked her the other day because he saw a commerical for some yogurt on TV and my sister didn't have any in the house. She chalked it up to him being sick.), and her inlaws are all crazy. So basically she's miserable and stuck there and wants everyone else to know it. It was also her choice to live there BTW but we get blamed for everything. Over 90% of her Facebook posts are negative crap and flat out complaining, and phone conversations are a little better but it's still all about her. The way she talks it's like she thinks she's the only mother on the face of the planet who works full time and has two kids. Every day she complains about being tired and it's just the same crap over and over again for the past 10 years. She's also very quick to judge people, is very controlling and wears the pants in the relationship. The kids run the household and you don't dare say ANYTHING critical of her at all or else it's like Mt. St. Helens exploding and she'll hang up the phone on you.

Right now I don't even want to talk to her. She, her husband and her son are all sick with some viral crap and her father in law and sister in law are both in the hospital dying of cancer. The situation exploded last week. She has been calling my parents like 3-4 times a day, calling me at work (I don't answer), etc. All she is doing is complaining about the situation and how her husband isn't home to help her with the kids and she can't sleep because she's worried about her sister in law, etc. What's worse is she pretty much hates all these people anyway but when tragedy strikes, even if it's someone else, she uses the situation to get attention. At this point she's just venting the same crap over and over again. My mom has been telling me what's going on so there's no reason for me to even talk to her, and I dont need all the negative BS. I'm pregnant and this is supposed to be a happy time for me, and all she does is stress me out. Her and my other older sister don't even really talk because they don't get along well.

Any advice as to what I should do? Should I ignore her? If I try to have a "talk" with her it'll end up being a big blowout fight. I tend to be the one in the family who deals with her the best. Yesterday she got mad at my mom because my mom told her that my grandma (mom's mom who passed away a long time ago) had multiple sclerosis and was in a wheelchair while taking care of four kids. She's trying to get my sister to understand that she isn't the ONLY one with bad crap going on. So then my sister hangs up on her and sends me a text asking me if I "said something" to mom because mom was short with her and she's tired of mom "making comparisons". WTF? I'm pretty good at writing emails and would probably be comfortable with that, I'm just tired of this whole situation!