Introduce Yourself

camilla62009
camilla62009 Posts: 6 Member
edited January 5 in Social Groups
I'll start with introductions. :-) My name is Nicole. I am a rape, sexual assault, and domestic violence survivor. It has taken me 7 years to finally pull myself together and move forward. I have PTSD, anxiety issues, chronic neck and back pain (cause of pain is separate from abuse), and I am finally taking my life back. I am currently 203lbs. This is the heaviest I have ever been and I DON'T LIKE IT AT ALL! Right now my goal is to get back to my wedding weight of 175lbs. I realized that I need to take baby steps in this process. I eventually would like to be at 150lbs but that's a ways off from now. I am a wife, daughter, daughter-in-law, sister, sister-in-law, niece, cousin, granddaughter, student, intern, mentor, nanny, and friend. These are just a few of my roles that I take great pride in but I need to be a healthier me to be able to be all these things to those that I love most. Can't wait to start chatting with all of you!

Replies

  • jessiekanga
    jessiekanga Posts: 564 Member
    Hi Camilla-

    I'm Jessie, and I wish I saw your post a month ago when you first put it up, as I would have wanted you to immediately know you're not alone. I'm also a survivor, and have found that my weight, and struggles with food and exercise, are incredibly caught up in my "trauma-drama" and shame. I'm quite a spit-fire in many ways, but still get triggered when it comes to my body, how I take care of it, and what I put in it. I'm also a social worker, have two glorious children, one with special needs, an amazing partner, and just a dynamite life. I just want to live more enthusiastically and healthfully in it.

    Good luck to you, and I hope we can chat/connect more!
  • camilla62009
    camilla62009 Posts: 6 Member
    Hi jessie

    I am so sorry I haven't been on here more consistently. The holidays were a disaster for me... diet speaking. :-) I am so glad you put in a friend request because I wouldn't have gotten on otherwise. I started off the year with a 3 day juice cleanse and then have mainly been eating fruits and veggies. I have had very small amounts of dairy and grains compared to what I am used to consuming but I am finally feeling on top of the world where I can get up and move again simply due to my dietary change. How were the holidays for you?
  • jessiekanga
    jessiekanga Posts: 564 Member
    My holidays were tough, but I got through them for the sake of the kids, who enjoyed them immensely. The week after Christmas was a nice, relaxing reprieve with the family. It was nice. My diet... also struggling. I'm an emotional eater to be sure, and I was triggered something fierce over the holidays this time for some reason. However, I maintained, and am trying to get back in the grove. Thanks so much for asking. I'm curious about your cleanse, and so happy for your energy spike, that's terrific!
  • camilla62009
    camilla62009 Posts: 6 Member
    Well this cleanse.... haha that was tough! I originally wanted to do it for a week but I only got through 3 days. My husband made it a week but I was ready for him to quit after day 5 because he was being a grouch and we had started school again. We bought a juicer over Christmas break and researched different veggies and fruits that are high in nutrients and all that good stuff we needed. We juiced for every meal using Kale as our main ingredient. If you look up kale... it's like a freakin superfood! It is so good for you but definitely needs to be added with other veggies due to it's bitter taste. We used cucumbers, oranges, spinach, apples, strawberries, bananas, mangos, pineapple, carrots, ginger, broccoli, peaches... basically any sort of fruits and veggies we tried. THere are all kinds of recipes online that you can find. The key is just playing with your favorites to see what you like the best. After day 3 for me I started eating just solid fruits and veggies to ease back into eating. I ate veggies and rice, a fruit bowl for breakfast, salads with lemon juice instead of olive oil and balsmic vinegar. My main reason was to cut all the processed crap out of my diet and get it out of my system. I was feeling so good.

    I won't lie... school and my internship started and I kinda fell off the wagon for about a week and a half but I'm back on track again. Trying to stick to mostly non-processed foods. I realized that I feel much better when I stick to a vegetarian diet. Red meat does not like me... haha makes my tummy hurt. But we normally have friends over once a week and we all make a different type of ethnic food each week, so that's the only meal I will eat red meat in. However, I love fish, eggs, and cheese way too much to ever give that up completely, so I have just limited the amount I consume. It's been so good. I lost the 8lbs I gained over Christmas break on the juice cleanse and so far I have maintained my weight pretty consistently. It fluctuated when I started working out and it's been hard to break the 200 number but I know I will get there. My goal is to be down 5lbs by the end of this month and then eventually down to 170 by May 11th for the 5K Color Run that I signed up for. So we will see what happens.

    I am sorry to hear that Christmas break was rough. I hope things got better and with the start of the new year a fresh start. I had a melt down during my juice cleanse and then last week when I went to go pick up my transcripts from all my old community college. During the juice cleanse, I got a splitting headache and was so thrown off by it that when I went to bed that night I couldn't fall asleep cuz every time I closed my eyes, images came into my head. I started crying and vented with my hubby and eventually fell asleep. Then last week I had a complete panic attack and almost passed out just running back to my car once I got those transcripts in my hand. Talked with my bestie as soon as I got in the car and she helped me calm down but the rest of the day I was super flustered with everything. That's what triggered my little slip over the last week or so. I am back on track now though and feel good. I have a bunch of apps on my phone that I am now constantly logging into to help me stay on track. I hope things are better now... sorry for the novel. haha
  • jessiekanga
    jessiekanga Posts: 564 Member
    Novels welcome!

    I'm also glad to hear you're feeling better! Sounds a like a few tough days. I'm so glad for you that you have folks you can reach out to.. your hubby and bestie... when you have those moments. Makes all the difference in the world, doesn't it?

    I'm doing well. It's a recent change back to relative peace and normalcy, but yes, it's returned. The holidays and since have been a roller coaster, but I finally found a little serenity in the middle of it all. I tend to be the one that forgets simple things like... "accept... the more I fight the more it is a fight." I'd much rather strap on the boxing gloves.

    Anyway, glad you're back, and glad you're well. The cleanse sounds fascinating, but I'm not quite sure it's for me... maybe someday. Right now I've been focused on training for a 5k in April... couch to 5k style. It's been quite a surreal road of things I thought were impossible for me not being what they seemed. It's hard, but so worth it so far. Hope I can stay with it!!!

    Take care of you!!!
  • camilla62009
    camilla62009 Posts: 6 Member
    What has been your strategy for this 5K? I am planning on doing The Color Run in May with my hubby but need to figure out time to workout and get off my butt. :-) it's been hard with our hectic schedule. Any suggestions?
  • jessiekanga
    jessiekanga Posts: 564 Member
    Hi Nicole!

    How are you?

    I've been following the schedule on this link: http://www.coolrunning.com/engine/2/2_3/181.shtml

    I don't yet have a smart phone, so I don't have any apps or anything, though they do exist and from what I understand there are plenty that are free. I did the first 5 weeks pretty much on the treadmill to track time, and then took it outdoors whenever the weather is over 25 degrees. Today was a bit brisk! I'm currently on the last week of the program, but am needing more time with it. For some reason, probably a cold I'm nursing, this week has kicked my butt.

    My wife and I are signed up for a 5k in our city in April. I think your idea for the color run sounds fantastic and playful. Do you know who it benefits?

    In any event, we both work full time, have our two amazing and still quite young kids (4 and 5) and also have trouble fitting in our runs. Largely, she'll hit the treadmill after she gets home from work 3 days a week. On opposite days she's been spinning at 5:15 in the morning, and if I'm lukcy the kids don't wake up until after she's home. She's in pretty amazing shape, and somehow makes it all look almost easy.

    I struggle. I'm a lot heavier than she for one, and I have trouble breathing when running. I hyperventilate and panic a bit. I fit my workouts in whenver I can. Sometimes early morning, sometimes a long lunch break, other times after work. I have no schedule, which is a little insane, but the best our lives can do. I have a little more say in my schedule than she has in hers, so I fit it in whenever it's the least disruptive. It's hard... finding the time... taking that first step to run... sometimes I just want to sit on my butt:)

    Let me know if you decide to give it a whirl!
    Hope all is well for you and yours! Hugs,
    Jessie
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