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Divorced!

jb852013
Posts: 116
Hi y'all!
I introduced myself a while back, and y'all were so nice. I was going through a divorce and felt very encouraged here. My divorce was final a couple weeks ago, and I am so relieved! Life is so much better now. No more divorce stress. No more cranky hubby to deal with who doesn't want to be with us. I am finally looking forward to the future without my ex and I feel hopeful. That is HUGE! I have friends that I didn't have before. I have learned to be a bit more independent which feels great. And also, I had a horrible time with my kiddos being gone for days, however this last time they were gone I went out and had fun. It doesn't seem like it is going to be too bad to have a break every now and then. I wanted to come back and say thanks for your encouragement!

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That is AWESOME Jennifer!!!
I can't WAIT until that day comes for meeeee!!! It seems like it's been DRAAAAGGGGINNNG on for EVER!!! It's been almost a year and still waiting for butthead to sign the dang papers. UGH.
I'm soooo excited for you! :drinker:0 -
Great news Jennifer. Life begins...............:flowerforyou:0
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That is AWESOME Jennifer!!!
I can't WAIT until that day comes for meeeee!!! It seems like it's been DRAAAAGGGGINNNG on for EVER!!! It's been almost a year and still waiting for butthead to sign the dang papers. UGH.
I'm soooo excited for you! :drinker:
I've heard this numerous times and always wonder why men (or sometimes women) take such a long time to sign the papers to make the divorce official?
Is it that they aren't happy with the settlement? Or that they just don't want to let go?0 -
Mike, not sure for all situations. One of my friends refused to sign divorce papers full stop until the 5 years had passed so the divorce went through by default.
The reason? He asked her via text despite seeing her at least twice a week to collect their son, and due to the way they had split up. Didn't care about the divorce in the least, and is happy it has now gone through, but she took the attitude of not making things easy for him!!
And OP glad things are working out for you.0 -
Good for you! A new chapter in your life!!!0
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That is AWESOME Jennifer!!!
I can't WAIT until that day comes for meeeee!!! It seems like it's been DRAAAAGGGGINNNG on for EVER!!! It's been almost a year and still waiting for butthead to sign the dang papers. UGH.
I'm soooo excited for you! :drinker:
I've heard this numerous times and always wonder why men (or sometimes women) take such a long time to sign the papers to make the divorce official?
Is it that they aren't happy with the settlement? Or that they just don't want to let go?
Mike for my ex and I it took years.......... We were never in a hurry to file bacause we have an unusual custody arangement and the longer we had it running before we went to court the more the judge was likely to keep it in place for the children.. Also we owned nothing together ... Being that we both had jobs we werent dependent on alimoney......... I think alot of amicable divorces go slowly because your not so angry at each other ..
Congrats Jennifer0 -
I've heard this numerous times and always wonder why men (or sometimes women) take such a long time to sign the papers to make the divorce official?
First off, to the OP, congrats on beginning a chapter!
I wonder the same thing Mike. If I were in a situation of a divorce, I'd want to make it official right away. I'm the type that likes to avoid a messy entanglement and explaining a still pending divorce isn't a good foot to start on with new potential dates.0 -
Congrats OP on starting your next chapter!
As for divorces taking awhile, mine took a year, and we had no children and no property owned together. We had split cars/timeshare etc and used a mediator, but took a year because my ex didn't want to pay for it . He cheated, he wanted the divorced so I told him he was paying for it and he agreed, then took a year to do so.0 -
Congrats on the divorce, one door shut and another beautiful door has opened!0
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Awesome news!. . It definitely gets better.. You'll still have down days, but keep trending up!. .0
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Congratulations to you! I threw myself an "Emancipation Party" once my divorce was final!
Mike/DM - As an attorney I can tell you that there are many reasons divorces can take a while... In addition to the ones cited by others in the thread - there's also the punishment factor. A friend went through a very prolonged fight with his ex because she didn't want to move out of their home and the house had to be sold once the divorce was final due to California Community Property laws.0 -
Congrats!! :drinker:0
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Congratulations to you! I threw myself an "Emancipation Party" once my divorce was final!
Mike/DM - As an attorney I can tell you that there are many reasons divorces can take a while... In addition to the ones cited by others in the thread - there's also the punishment factor. A friend went through a very prolonged fight with his ex because she didn't want to move out of their home and the house had to be sold once the divorce was final due to California Community Property laws.
This is the stuff about divorce that drives me crazy. Assets like a house should be liquidated and split evenly down the middle (granted the house and the mortgage was in both their names) as soon as possible. To hold up a divorce because the ex-wife liked the house is ridiculous.0 -
This is the stuff about divorce that drives me crazy. Assets like a house should be liquidated and split evenly down the middle (granted the house and the mortgage was in both their names) as soon as possible. To hold up a divorce because the ex-wife liked the house is ridiculous.
In theory forcing liquidation of assets might be a strategy, but I can imagine there being a little uproar about the government forcing people out of their belongings?
Jennifer- good for you! The first few times away from your kids is over and done- that's awesome! I remember feeling like I was literally going to die the first night I was away from my daughter. She was 18 months old and I think I threw up a few times. Now I'm really sad her dad won't be taking her for awhile (thank god for grandparents and babysitters). It really gets better, and don't be discouraged by the hard days that will occasionally still pop up since it's still new.0 -
Hi I'm new again to the single life myself! Just got my butthead to sign my papers yesterday!! I waited 5 LONG years for him to comply!! Feels soooo amazing!! I'm finally free!0
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Hi I'm new again to the single life myself! Just got my butthead to sign my papers yesterday!! I wait 5 LONG years for him to comply!! Feels soooo amazing!! I'm finally free!
Congratulations to you too!!!0 -
Here's to new beginnings! :drinker:0
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Congratulations and drinks are on me! Let the door to a new chapter open and a new life to enjoy lies ahead!0
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That is AWESOME Jennifer!!!
I can't WAIT until that day comes for meeeee!!! It seems like it's been DRAAAAGGGGINNNG on for EVER!!! It's been almost a year and still waiting for butthead to sign the dang papers. UGH.
I'm soooo excited for you! :drinker:
I've heard this numerous times and always wonder why men (or sometimes women) take such a long time to sign the papers to make the divorce official?
Is it that they aren't happy with the settlement? Or that they just don't want to let go?
In my case, the reason is he wants me to pay him alimony forever and have half of everything. That surely is NOT going to happen! A judge would have to tell me that, and when presented with the facts, my lawyer and I are quite sure the judge would agree that it would NOT happen as well. So he would be smart to sign what I just presented him (third try on my part!) UGH.0 -
I've heard this numerous times and always wonder why men (or sometimes women) take such a long time to sign the papers to make the divorce official?
Is it that they aren't happy with the settlement? Or that they just don't want to let go?
My ex was in denial that I left him. He continued during our divorce to send me birthday cards, Christmas cards.... uh, yeah.
I think he realized he screwed up and wanted to fix it but it was a little too late to say the least.....0 -
PS - forgot to say congrats, Jennifer! Welcome to your new life!0
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Hi I'm new again to the single life myself! Just got my butthead to sign my papers yesterday!! I waited 5 LONG years for him to comply!! Feels soooo amazing!! I'm finally free!
Congratulations!!!!0 -
CONGRATS to all us divorcees in the group. Took over a year for mine to finalize. Threw myself a huge party. Singled now for nearly two years and the new life has only gotten better.0
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Thanks y'all! I am very excited to get on with my new life. I am also surprised at how long some of your divorces take. My husband left me September 11th, he filed September 25th, and then the divorce was final January 9th.0
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Thanks y'all! I am very excited to get on with my new life. I am also surprised at how long some of your divorces take. My husband left me September 11th, he filed September 25th, and then the divorce was final January 9th.
Just over 3 months from filing date to the date of finalization is actually pretty impressive for speed in getting things done. The divorce process can routinely take 6-12 months.0 -
Yeah, well we were married for 9.5 years. My ex wanted to make sure that we didn't hit the 10 year mark. If we would have hit it then I could have asked for spousal support since I was a sahm.Thanks y'all! I am very excited to get on with my new life. I am also surprised at how long some of your divorces take. My husband left me September 11th, he filed September 25th, and then the divorce was final January 9th.
Just over 3 months from filing date to the date of finalization is actually pretty impressive for speed in getting things done. The divorce process can routinely take 6-12 months.0 -
PS - forgot to say congrats, Jennifer! Welcome to your new life!
Thanks.. it's taking you 3 tries!! sorry for your headache.. Took me 2 tries... he threatened alimony too and to bleed me dry but this time I was successful;0 -
CONGRATS to all us divorcees in the group. Took over a year for mine to finalize. Threw myself a huge party. Singled now for nearly two years and the new life has only gotten better.
Congrats!0 -
CONGRATS to all us divorcees in the group. Took over a year for mine to finalize. Threw myself a huge party. Singled now for nearly two years and the new life has only gotten better.
Mine will be 4 years March 31st. It's definitely a day I celebrate! Took me three years to get to the point I wanted to date again, but man... the last year has been fun!
Jennifer... congrats!!! Make really wise decisions from here on out... you've been given a do-over! Make it count! :flowerforyou:0
This discussion has been closed.