Divorced!

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Hi y'all! :) I introduced myself a while back, and y'all were so nice. I was going through a divorce and felt very encouraged here. My divorce was final a couple weeks ago, and I am so relieved! Life is so much better now. No more divorce stress. No more cranky hubby to deal with who doesn't want to be with us. I am finally looking forward to the future without my ex and I feel hopeful. That is HUGE! I have friends that I didn't have before. I have learned to be a bit more independent which feels great. And also, I had a horrible time with my kiddos being gone for days, however this last time they were gone I went out and had fun. It doesn't seem like it is going to be too bad to have a break every now and then. I wanted to come back and say thanks for your encouragement!
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Replies

  • sweetcurlz67
    sweetcurlz67 Posts: 1,168 Member
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    That is AWESOME Jennifer!!!

    I can't WAIT until that day comes for meeeee!!! It seems like it's been DRAAAAGGGGINNNG on for EVER!!! It's been almost a year and still waiting for butthead to sign the dang papers. UGH.

    I'm soooo excited for you! :drinker:
  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,439 Member
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    Great news Jennifer. Life begins...............:flowerforyou:
  • MikeM53082
    MikeM53082 Posts: 1,199 Member
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    That is AWESOME Jennifer!!!

    I can't WAIT until that day comes for meeeee!!! It seems like it's been DRAAAAGGGGINNNG on for EVER!!! It's been almost a year and still waiting for butthead to sign the dang papers. UGH.

    I'm soooo excited for you! :drinker:

    I've heard this numerous times and always wonder why men (or sometimes women) take such a long time to sign the papers to make the divorce official?

    Is it that they aren't happy with the settlement? Or that they just don't want to let go?
  • RosscoBoscko
    RosscoBoscko Posts: 632 Member
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    Mike, not sure for all situations. One of my friends refused to sign divorce papers full stop until the 5 years had passed so the divorce went through by default.

    The reason? He asked her via text despite seeing her at least twice a week to collect their son, and due to the way they had split up. Didn't care about the divorce in the least, and is happy it has now gone through, but she took the attitude of not making things easy for him!!

    And OP glad things are working out for you.
  • lniffa
    lniffa Posts: 718 Member
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    Good for you! A new chapter in your life!!!
  • jenbit
    jenbit Posts: 4,289 Member
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    That is AWESOME Jennifer!!!

    I can't WAIT until that day comes for meeeee!!! It seems like it's been DRAAAAGGGGINNNG on for EVER!!! It's been almost a year and still waiting for butthead to sign the dang papers. UGH.

    I'm soooo excited for you! :drinker:

    I've heard this numerous times and always wonder why men (or sometimes women) take such a long time to sign the papers to make the divorce official?

    Is it that they aren't happy with the settlement? Or that they just don't want to let go?

    Mike for my ex and I it took years.......... We were never in a hurry to file bacause we have an unusual custody arangement and the longer we had it running before we went to court the more the judge was likely to keep it in place for the children.. Also we owned nothing together ... Being that we both had jobs we werent dependent on alimoney......... I think alot of amicable divorces go slowly because your not so angry at each other ..



    Congrats Jennifer
  • DMZ_1
    DMZ_1 Posts: 2,889 Member
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    I've heard this numerous times and always wonder why men (or sometimes women) take such a long time to sign the papers to make the divorce official?

    First off, to the OP, congrats on beginning a chapter!

    I wonder the same thing Mike. If I were in a situation of a divorce, I'd want to make it official right away. I'm the type that likes to avoid a messy entanglement and explaining a still pending divorce isn't a good foot to start on with new potential dates.
  • Moe4572
    Moe4572 Posts: 1,430 Member
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    Congrats OP on starting your next chapter!

    As for divorces taking awhile, mine took a year, and we had no children and no property owned together. We had split cars/timeshare etc and used a mediator, but took a year because my ex didn't want to pay for it . He cheated, he wanted the divorced so I told him he was paying for it and he agreed, then took a year to do so.
  • jensnewstart
    jensnewstart Posts: 97 Member
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    Congrats on the divorce, one door shut and another beautiful door has opened!
  • Cameron_1969
    Cameron_1969 Posts: 2,857 Member
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    Awesome news!. . It definitely gets better.. You'll still have down days, but keep trending up!. .
  • cinsuccess
    cinsuccess Posts: 333 Member
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    Congratulations to you! I threw myself an "Emancipation Party" once my divorce was final!

    Mike/DM - As an attorney I can tell you that there are many reasons divorces can take a while... In addition to the ones cited by others in the thread - there's also the punishment factor. A friend went through a very prolonged fight with his ex because she didn't want to move out of their home and the house had to be sold once the divorce was final due to California Community Property laws.
  • RunIntheMud
    RunIntheMud Posts: 2,645 Member
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    Congrats!! :drinker:
  • MikeM53082
    MikeM53082 Posts: 1,199 Member
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    Congratulations to you! I threw myself an "Emancipation Party" once my divorce was final!

    Mike/DM - As an attorney I can tell you that there are many reasons divorces can take a while... In addition to the ones cited by others in the thread - there's also the punishment factor. A friend went through a very prolonged fight with his ex because she didn't want to move out of their home and the house had to be sold once the divorce was final due to California Community Property laws.

    This is the stuff about divorce that drives me crazy. Assets like a house should be liquidated and split evenly down the middle (granted the house and the mortgage was in both their names) as soon as possible. To hold up a divorce because the ex-wife liked the house is ridiculous.
  • julesboots
    julesboots Posts: 311 Member
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    This is the stuff about divorce that drives me crazy. Assets like a house should be liquidated and split evenly down the middle (granted the house and the mortgage was in both their names) as soon as possible. To hold up a divorce because the ex-wife liked the house is ridiculous.

    In theory forcing liquidation of assets might be a strategy, but I can imagine there being a little uproar about the government forcing people out of their belongings?

    Jennifer- good for you! The first few times away from your kids is over and done- that's awesome! I remember feeling like I was literally going to die the first night I was away from my daughter. She was 18 months old and I think I threw up a few times. Now I'm really sad her dad won't be taking her for awhile (thank god for grandparents and babysitters). It really gets better, and don't be discouraged by the hard days that will occasionally still pop up since it's still new.
  • Miss_Aubrey
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    Hi I'm new again to the single life myself! Just got my butthead to sign my papers yesterday!! I waited 5 LONG years for him to comply!! Feels soooo amazing!! I'm finally free!
  • cinsuccess
    cinsuccess Posts: 333 Member
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    Hi I'm new again to the single life myself! Just got my butthead to sign my papers yesterday!! I wait 5 LONG years for him to comply!! Feels soooo amazing!! I'm finally free!

    Congratulations to you too!!!
  • pammbroo
    pammbroo Posts: 550 Member
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    Here's to new beginnings! :drinker:
  • Tropical_Turtle
    Tropical_Turtle Posts: 2,236 Member
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    Congratulations and drinks are on me! Let the door to a new chapter open and a new life to enjoy lies ahead!
  • sweetcurlz67
    sweetcurlz67 Posts: 1,168 Member
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    That is AWESOME Jennifer!!!

    I can't WAIT until that day comes for meeeee!!! It seems like it's been DRAAAAGGGGINNNG on for EVER!!! It's been almost a year and still waiting for butthead to sign the dang papers. UGH.

    I'm soooo excited for you! :drinker:

    I've heard this numerous times and always wonder why men (or sometimes women) take such a long time to sign the papers to make the divorce official?

    Is it that they aren't happy with the settlement? Or that they just don't want to let go?

    In my case, the reason is he wants me to pay him alimony forever and have half of everything. That surely is NOT going to happen! A judge would have to tell me that, and when presented with the facts, my lawyer and I are quite sure the judge would agree that it would NOT happen as well. So he would be smart to sign what I just presented him (third try on my part!) UGH.
  • FitnessPalWorks
    FitnessPalWorks Posts: 1,128 Member
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    I've heard this numerous times and always wonder why men (or sometimes women) take such a long time to sign the papers to make the divorce official?
    Is it that they aren't happy with the settlement? Or that they just don't want to let go?

    My ex was in denial that I left him. He continued during our divorce to send me birthday cards, Christmas cards.... uh, yeah.
    I think he realized he screwed up and wanted to fix it but it was a little too late to say the least.....