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every "not safe" meal is a battle

peckish_pomegranate
peckish_pomegranate Posts: 242 Member
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I feel like if I'm not eating fruits, veggies, or other "light" foods I'm gaining weight, even if I'm still eating under 1200. I had some cheese and crackers and I feel like ****. I feel like I'm a bad person, like I'm weak, like I'm making myself fat on purpose. I hate it, but I don't know how to make it stop. I don't know how to untrain myself that I can't eat certain things. I need to understand that feeling full is okay...I hate myself whenever I feel full.

Replies

  • skywa
    skywa Posts: 901 Member
    For some time, i managed to over come some of these feelings you are expressing. I did so by firstly not counting calories for an extended period of time, and by using anxiety coping techniques (yoga, stretching, ganja, ect).

    Unfortunately, even after months of not logging and dealing with the anxiety, someone felt the need to point out i gained weight and my eating habits immediately reverted back to there previous state.

    EDs are an endless battle it seems. Two steps foward and one step back, but progress does happen. I've seen it.

    Perhaps force yourself to eat a small amount of 1 safe food a day. Prove to yourself that it isn't sabotaging your diet. Sometimes a all you need is a reality check.
  • sinclare
    sinclare Posts: 369 Member
    It's true. It doesn't go away.

    I just try to have more "good" meals than "bad" ones. sometimes if I eat something bad, then I don't eat anything else bad for the rest of the day.

    Try to focus more on good choices. Don't beat yourself up for the bad ones....just, get back up and make another good one.

    It's a process. but you can do it!
  • MadameMoustache
    MadameMoustache Posts: 54 Member
    I know exactly what you are referring to.
    I prefer "light" food too, like veggies, because it doesn't makes me feel full.
    Sometimes, I see myself as a ballerina [even if I don't dance and do not see myself as graceful as a ballerina], I need to feel my body light as a feather, as if it could fly. Dense foods makes me feel heavy and it makes me so uncomfortable.
    Try to eat small amounts of "unsafe" food. So you don't feel so full so fast, but it those small amounts through the day.
    Maybe it will help.

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