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Using "retard" as a put down

Booksandbeaches
Booksandbeaches Posts: 1,791 Member
in Social Groups
I've heard people use that in a phrase ("That was dumb of me. I'm so retarded sometimes") and so on. When you hear it used like that, do you correct the person? I know my child isn't "retarded" but ever since the diagnosis of ASD, I'm much more sensitive to how that word is used as a put-down and I cringe whenever someone uses it to describe themselves or another perfectly neurotypical person who just made a mistake.

Replies

  • dolly3186
    dolly3186 Posts: 81 Member
    Ugh, I know what you mean. Ever since my son was diagnosed I cringe when I hear that word as well. :(

    I usually won't say anything to the person using it since I'm very non-confrontational, but it depends on the person. If it was someone in my family saying it I definitely would say something since I could explain to them how it really makes me upset and hurts my feelings.
  • huggiebear96001
    huggiebear96001 Posts: 12
    I have my son with autism and I raised my neice with fetal alcohol syndrome. My neice, who is absolutely DD, is high enough functioning that she would get into trouble and say, "I cant help it that I am retarded!" or "I did that because I am retarded." Mind you, she is 30 and "retarded" was, in her early life, still an acceptable term.

    I got tired of her using it as an excuse for behaviors and choices, so finally one day, I gave her the following definition:

    "a person who is stupid, obtuse, or ineffective in some way" and told her that she was correct. She was stupid and making ineffective decions in her life. I told her that while she could not help that her cognitive abilities were a challenge for her and made her ways of leaning harder and different, she could help being retarded as that was her coice. From that day on, the word "RETARD" had a whole new meaning in our home!

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