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MommaSquirell
Posts: 30 Member
We all come from some where . Share your story here . Taking off pounds starts from the inside . It is not just physical !
I have most of my story on the main page , but here is a little more , just how I felt.
I always wished my dad could just flip a switch and stop . I cried allot alone in my room when I was little . Always wishing My dad would come home. When he was sober (I know he tried) It was the best . There are only a handful of times That I remember him really spending time with me . I mostly spent time with him . The memory that always stands out to me the most was when I was 6 . It was the last time I would see my dad for a while . My mom and brother had gone to the store and left me with my father . There was a large storm coming and you could hear the thunder rolling in the distance . Whenever we had bad storms and my dad was drinking he would go into his flashbacks , most of the time he had no clue who I was . But anyway This day , I was walking around the house looking for him and could not find him , I peeked outside to see if he was messing with the dogs outside and saw him sitting in a lawn chair. I walked out the front door and stood on the porch calling to him . He didn't respond , so I knew something was wrong . I walked off the porch and approached him slowly Asking him What he was doing out there. He replied simply "Waiting for the Raids to start" . I did not understand completely , But I knew it had something to do with the war . I didn't see the loving eyes I barely knew at that point in my life . So I sat down and waited with him . Soon after that He was back in the hospital and my mom had decided that it was time for a change. So she packed us up . I had to leave my dog the 1 friend I had and my dad behind me. It still hurts me to this day that I never had a chance to have a healthy relationship with my dad . Because even though I don't know him I love him so much . And when he died , I died . I turned to drugs and food to make all the hurt go away . And even though I stopped doing all the drugs , the food stayed. It is easy to get off of drugs compared to food . Because I left all my bad friends (if that's what you would call them) Behind. But food is everywhere , and we need it to survive. It has taken so long to deal with some of these things and realize It was not my fault , He was hurting allot , I accept my childhood . I accept my past . I am proud of the woman I am still becoming And Refuse to let myself harm this beautiful woman any more . I deserve better! My children deserve all of me!
That is a piece of me for you to read. Share a piece of you , take some of that weight off your shoulders
I have most of my story on the main page , but here is a little more , just how I felt.
I always wished my dad could just flip a switch and stop . I cried allot alone in my room when I was little . Always wishing My dad would come home. When he was sober (I know he tried) It was the best . There are only a handful of times That I remember him really spending time with me . I mostly spent time with him . The memory that always stands out to me the most was when I was 6 . It was the last time I would see my dad for a while . My mom and brother had gone to the store and left me with my father . There was a large storm coming and you could hear the thunder rolling in the distance . Whenever we had bad storms and my dad was drinking he would go into his flashbacks , most of the time he had no clue who I was . But anyway This day , I was walking around the house looking for him and could not find him , I peeked outside to see if he was messing with the dogs outside and saw him sitting in a lawn chair. I walked out the front door and stood on the porch calling to him . He didn't respond , so I knew something was wrong . I walked off the porch and approached him slowly Asking him What he was doing out there. He replied simply "Waiting for the Raids to start" . I did not understand completely , But I knew it had something to do with the war . I didn't see the loving eyes I barely knew at that point in my life . So I sat down and waited with him . Soon after that He was back in the hospital and my mom had decided that it was time for a change. So she packed us up . I had to leave my dog the 1 friend I had and my dad behind me. It still hurts me to this day that I never had a chance to have a healthy relationship with my dad . Because even though I don't know him I love him so much . And when he died , I died . I turned to drugs and food to make all the hurt go away . And even though I stopped doing all the drugs , the food stayed. It is easy to get off of drugs compared to food . Because I left all my bad friends (if that's what you would call them) Behind. But food is everywhere , and we need it to survive. It has taken so long to deal with some of these things and realize It was not my fault , He was hurting allot , I accept my childhood . I accept my past . I am proud of the woman I am still becoming And Refuse to let myself harm this beautiful woman any more . I deserve better! My children deserve all of me!
That is a piece of me for you to read. Share a piece of you , take some of that weight off your shoulders
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Replies
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Hello Thanks for starting the discussion, it's nice to hear similar stories. My Dad was a soldier for 34 years. He was infantry so he was doing man to man combat. Many of his friends died. For his childhood, his mother was 17 and his father was 45. He passed away when my father was young and his mother, being a poor 17 year old girl had the eldest son skip his childhood and help be a second parent. That was my dad.
When My mom was pregnant with me they had an argument in the car. He kicked out the wind shield out of anger and that night when my mom went home he went out again and crashed the car. He has since grown up a bit. He rarely calls me and when he does he tells me how much he loves me. He quit drinking when I was 14 or 15 but he started cutting. He had always been suicidal but this is when he started to tell people. My father is a very sick man. He is very unhealthy both physically and mentally. My father suffers from PTSD and severe Depression to the point where he was has in the hospital and they wanted to monitor him. I still speak to him like I said but its hard. My mom use to tell me "Daddy is sad, he has the sadness disease" and I remember I use to go over and he would turn me away cause he had 'stuff' to do, no doubt that stuff involved alcohol.
Sorry my story is all over the place. I would never be able to be an article writer apparently.0 -
It is so hard , to step up from seeming to be not as important . When it is our fathers especially , you can never replace that hurt you get from not feeling as important. I still shake my head when I get upset and think about cupcakes . Because I know It is going to make me feel Worse!
Thank you so much for sharing and Know that you can msg me anytime and share more !
(Quick fact) too much sugar can actually depress Your system.
Something I had to come to terms with! lol 0 -
Hi. Thanks for starting this group. I’ve just recently moved back home part time (aged 31) to help care for my mother following her recent release from hospital where she was being treated for liver disease and kidney problems resulting from years of alcohol abuse. We're still not sure what the prognosis is. Although I have *amazing* sisters to help me, it’s nice to be reminded that we aren’t the only adults still being affected, directly or otherwise, by a parents problems with drink x0
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I am so happy to have people as happy as me about this group . I am sending lots of love to you and your sister ! I think it is soooo important when dealing with weight loss to remember how we got there in the first place. Explorers Created maps and compass to help navigate the globe . I am gonna use a swear here cause **** when my mom spit me out i didn't get a map XD So I consider this a mapping point. So I wont get lost again . hope your day is FABULOUS! 0
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Hi, my father had always been a drinker, but he was involved in a really bad accident in work, (he was a scaffolder) which resulted in him breaking both his legs and being unable to work again. This led to depression and his drinking escalated. He did stop for three months, but was convinced by so called mates that he was 'better' and started drinking again. Was incredibly hard to deal with, wondering why he didn't love us enough to stop, but being older now understand that it was never as simple as that. Sadly my father passed away march 2003... Dreading the ten year anniversary, but will be wearing his saint Christopher, thinking of him.0
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My dad died about 2002 Lots of love for sharing your story ! And I went through that so much , I just was not good enough . but like you I realized it was not that easy . Thanks again for the share . ! And thank you for joining . I want to thank everyone who joined , even if you did not post . It is very important when you are dealing with childhood issues to have support and Real Comfort . Lots of love to all!
(Wow I had to go back and edit the $*** out of that! lol!!! ) I don't think I got it all fixed either X_x . What Time is It!?!?!0 -
Thank you for sharing your stories. I just started working on recovery and talking about my story, so I am not yet ready to share it with the world. I appreciate all of your strength though, and I hope to be able to talk about my story more openly soon. It helps to see everyone else who is brave who can share their story. :flowerforyou:
Is anyone else in Al-Anon for Adult Children?0 -
Hi everyone, just wanted to share... I grew up with an intact family, my mom was a stay at home mom but raised me and my siblings with some emotional abuse. My dad, i guess, was a well educated and well-employed father and provider... I recall him always having a drink when he got home to unwind. I never realized until i was much much older (about 20) that he was a highly functioning alcoholic. It came to light when my mom left him for reasons not related to his drinking.
I learned to be co-dependent at an early age, probably more due to the emotional abuse from my mom more than my dads drinking, although i am sure that contributed somehow.
Anyway... Here i am, about to turn 44 thins year and i have finally gotten it! I finally connected my mindless, mind numbing eating to my childhood, to my poor choices in relationships and to my being overweight...the past 13 months i have done more growth, emotionally and mentally, than probably the last decade...
What a journey...
Glad to be here and hope to be of support! ????0 -
My father was a mean alcoholic for the first 10 yrs of my life. He was sober for 11 yrs before he died at age 55. But for those 11 years I learned a lot from him about life as a direct result of AA. "Easy does it" "One day at a time" Accepting that there is a "Higher power". And my favorite, Serenity prayer: God grant me the SERENITY to accept the things I cannot change, the COURAGE to change the things I can and the WISDOM to know the difference. I know not everyone believes in God. You don't need to. We all can hope for serenity,courage and wisdom.
As for me and my eating problem, I believe that I was genetically predisposed to addictive behavior. I started smoking at 10 yrs old and drinking at 13. I no longer smoke or drink but I think I replaced them with food. Whenever I am upset, stressed, unhappy or lonely I eat. I was never taught any healthy way to sooth myself. 0 -
My mother attended AA and I read the book daily . Def ,Serenity prayer can help in any situation . Thanks everyone for sharing ! I have never been this motivated in my life and just hearing the stories of others out there makes me want to overcome more then ever . Keep up the great work everyone ! Fight fight!!! 0
