Talking to mom
HalfTheWomanIUsedToBe
Posts: 15
I don't know if I'm looking for advice or just dying to get this off my chest. But here goes.
I spent the weekend with my parents (I live at college most of the year), and we spent a good portion of the weekend doing two things I hate most: shopping for clothes, and eating in public. And my mom couldn't figure out why I was in such a bad mood the whole time.
The whole trip it was on the tip of my tongue. I was about to tell her that I have problems with food. But I couldn't do it.
Then we had lunch one day, and this weird little exchange took place.
She said, "I was worried you weren't eating enough. But I saw you eat that whole salad yesterday! But I...I was just worried you weren't getting enough."
And I said, "I wasn't. But now I am. But I wasn't."
And she just kind of smiled in this knowing way and kept eating her sandwich thing.
Now I'm not sure if she knows and didn't want to talk about it, or if she's clueless and just wanted to change the subject. I don't really want a reaction from her, but I want to know if she knows. I'd like her to know, but I don't want to say anything.
Needless to say, I'm not the best at talking to people face-to-face. I don't know what to do. This exchange has just been weighing heavily on my mind ever since.
I spent the weekend with my parents (I live at college most of the year), and we spent a good portion of the weekend doing two things I hate most: shopping for clothes, and eating in public. And my mom couldn't figure out why I was in such a bad mood the whole time.
The whole trip it was on the tip of my tongue. I was about to tell her that I have problems with food. But I couldn't do it.
Then we had lunch one day, and this weird little exchange took place.
She said, "I was worried you weren't eating enough. But I saw you eat that whole salad yesterday! But I...I was just worried you weren't getting enough."
And I said, "I wasn't. But now I am. But I wasn't."
And she just kind of smiled in this knowing way and kept eating her sandwich thing.
Now I'm not sure if she knows and didn't want to talk about it, or if she's clueless and just wanted to change the subject. I don't really want a reaction from her, but I want to know if she knows. I'd like her to know, but I don't want to say anything.
Needless to say, I'm not the best at talking to people face-to-face. I don't know what to do. This exchange has just been weighing heavily on my mind ever since.
0
Replies
-
Try writing her a letter explaining this to her. It sounds like she has a bit if an idea but probably has no idea to what extent and doesn't want to make you uncomfortable by talking about it. It's one of those subjects that seems taboo and people tend to dance around it. Be direct with her and let her know what you need whether that be support or you just wanted to let someone know.0
-
I actually think that parents notice more than we expect them to. She might already know and just wait for you to talk to her. It's one of many difficulties of fighting an ed: The people suffering are likely push their loved ones away (at first). So in case she knows, she would want to prevent that, right? You get the feeling she gets to close to you, you back off.0
-
If you can't talk face-to-face write her a note or letter and leave it somewhere she will see it... I do that all the time, usually on my way out the house to give my mom time to process the information. You can ask for her to write back in letter form if it'll be more comfortable for you and go back and forth that way- or you could let her confront you about it so it's less scary on your part. Once you open up the lines of communication about it, face-to-face will get easier too
0 -
I hope that all worked out and that you were able to talk to your mom about this. :flowerforyou:
My mom (who died on June 18th, 2012) was one of the people who helped save my life during my severe ED days. I owe her my life for many reasons besides her creating me.
Please anyone reading this who has a supportive and loving mom and an ED, don't be afraid to talk to her. If she's always been there for you, then she will be there for you during your recovery, too. Good moms want their children's happiness and health more than anything else in the world.
Just a couple of thoughts that I thought I'd put out there...0
