Breastfeeding Woes
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TLCEsq
Posts: 413 Member
I'll start off by saying that before I had my baby I was one of those women who was adamantly against formula feeding (not judgmental, I just didn't want to do it for many reasons). Now that I've experienced how demanding breastfeeding is, I've changed my tune a bit. Brock isn't even two weeks old yet and we've had some great nights, but also three nights of cluster feeding (tonight is one of them) and the lack of sleep is killing me and causing me to be depressed. I also feel like I never know what's normal and if I'm doing things right. We are both sick with a cold and last night was actually a good night, today was a different story. It also seems like my baby blues are directly linked to the BFing. I've tried to pump but I'm not getting much right now since it's so early on. I guess I just need some encouragement because I don't want to give up :-(
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I'll start off by saying that before I had my baby I was one of those women who was adamantly against formula feeding (not judgmental, I just didn't want to do it for many reasons). Now that I've experienced how demanding breastfeeding is, I've changed my tune a bit. Brock isn't even two weeks old yet and we've had some great nights, but also three nights of cluster feeding (tonight is one of them) and the lack of sleep is killing me and causing me to be depressed. I also feel like I never know what's normal and if I'm doing things right. We are both sick with a cold and last night was actually a good night, today was a different story. It also seems like my baby blues are directly linked to the BFing. I've tried to pump but I'm not getting much right now since it's so early on. I guess I just need some encouragement because I don't want to give up :-(
I was the same as you, so against formula before I had kids. Then my son was born in 2009, and he refused to feed at all for about 36 hours after birth, kept being sick, was put on IV antibiotics etc. Hearbreaking. By day 6 he had dropped from his birth weight of 7lbs 13 to 6lbs 7 and the midwife instructed me to formula feed. For the first 10 weeks I BF him first, then he gulped down the formula like he was starving. Then I moved to just formula as I was spending hours BF and pumping and not enjoying my little man as I should do. He'll be 4 this June and he's a lovely, healthy little boy. He still doesn't have much interest in food though!
My daughter was the opposite, she fed 24/7 and screamed if I so much as left her for 2 mins to go to the loo. She didn't put on much weight despite the constant feeding, and with my son 22 months old and demanding, I ended up mix feeding her too. She's 21 months now and absolutely fine. Well, a little madam, but lovely!
I think with BF, if you don't have a problem with milk supply like I did, then you can persevere and it will get better. Giving formula doesn't make the nights any better in my experience - my 2 woke up loads in the night until they were quite old.0 -
I don't know what your sleeping arrangements are, but we (my daughter and I) started out with her in a bedside co-sleeper and quickly moved to just co-sleeping in the bed. After we made the switch we BOTH slept through the night and we were both much happier. For safety we squished the bed up against the wall and I had my hubby on the other side, so there was never any risk of her falling out of bed. We did this up until about 6 months old, then I started nursing her to sleep in her room before I placed her in her crib...when she'd wake in the night I'd bring her back to our bed for the rest of the night. By about 9 months she was so wiggly none of us (including her) got much sleep with her in our bed so when she woke (usually about once a night at that point), I'd nurse her in her room and put her back in the crib. Somewhere between 9 and 12 months she just started sleeping through the night pretty consistently.
For NOW though, the best advice I can give is to remember you're still in the "4th trimester" and your little cutie has no schedule other than what his body needs at that very moment...he didn't have any schedule in the womb and he won't have one for a few months yet.0 -
Hi mama!
Breastfeeding can be exhausting. I found it helpful to be aware of the times when babies have growth spurts. During a growth spurt, babies eat more, wake up more often to eat, and are much fussier. This can leave you really tired, as there is an increase in energy expenditure on your already exhausted body. There is a growth spurt between 2-3 weeks old. They usually only last a few days, and then your little monkey will get back to a normal sleep/eat routine.
If you really want to breastfeed - give yourself more time. It really does get easier. Those first few weeks are brutal, and you and baby are still trying to figure things out.
Try and get some naps in, too (I know, easier said than done)...0 -
I BFd my son for 12 mos and my daughter for 18. Let me say that I think it's wonderful and important and he best thing to do if you can do it without causing hardship to yourself and your baby.
That said, sometimes it really sucks! The first few weeks are especially brutal. No one tells you about growth spurts where you are pretty much nursing around the clock. It hurts. It's exhausting. If your baby is only a few weeks old than ANYTHING is "normal." It's also normal to be exhausted. If your depression persists please talk to your dr or midwife. I suffered pretty bad PPD with my son because he was such a bad sleeper in early months. I never saw anyone and I had a miserable year or so. I was just walking around crying and wondering what all the other moms looked so darn happy about.
Have you checked out www.kellymoms.com? Lots of great info that helped me a ton with my first. With my second I bought I knew everything and then she ended up never taking a bottle.
Especially look into growth spurts. It'll make you feel better to know nothing is wrong with your supply.
One final piece of info I will share: most babies seem to have horrible painful gas around 8 weeks or so. It's really awful and heart-breaking and frustrating by its just the baby developing their digestive systems. I wasted a lot of time and money on all kinds of products and nothing helped except time. It's not your supply, and nothing is wrong with your baby. Your baby needs to figure out how to pass gas--which is a complex muscle movement requiring relaxing and pushing at he same time.
It always makes me NUTS when moms say, "This too shall pass! Enjoy this time!" when you feelings you can't do anything right and you suck as a mom and a human and a wife and you feel desperately alone in a deep dark cave. But the gassiness does indeed pass. And the breast feeding, should you choose to continue, does get better.
Hugs mama!0 -
I agree with the others said. The first 6-8 weeks are brutal. My youngest cluster fed A LOT and at times it was really hard. Now she's almost 15 months and were still going strong with nursing and the thought of her weaning makes me sad!
If its important to you then push through these rough moments, it gets so much easier!!!0 -
I am currently still breastfeeding my baby who is almost 4 months old. Those first few weeks were very rough, especially being a single mom and having to care for 4 other kids all day. With that being said it was easier for me to not be preparing bottles and to just nurse her. Well here I am still feeding her every 2, sometimes 3 hours. Night times are still a little rough at times but we co-sleep because that's simply the only way I can get any sleep. The baby sleeps from 8:30 or so until about midnight in her own bed then she comes in bed with me. If possible, try and sleep every chance you can and it will get a little better but just think of what you are giving to your child.
And does anyone have any advice on how to get a breastfeeding baby to take a bottle? My baby refuses every bottle and will only nurse. It would be nice to let someone else feed her once in a while so I can remove her from my side..any suggestions are appreciated. Thanks!!0 -
And does anyone have any advice on how to get a breastfeeding baby to take a bottle? My baby refuses every bottle and will only nurse. It would be nice to let someone else feed her once in a while so I can remove her from my side..any suggestions are appreciated. Thanks!!
Our little one refused the bottle too. We tried a sippy cup with her at three months and it worked wonderfully!!0 -
And does anyone have any advice on how to get a breastfeeding baby to take a bottle? My baby refuses every bottle and will only nurse. It would be nice to let someone else feed her once in a while so I can remove her from my side..any suggestions are appreciated. Thanks!!
Try having someone else give her the bottle. If you are right there, she will be able to smell you and will want to nurse instead of eat from the bottle.
Also make sure the milk is the right temperature. My little guy refused to et from a bottle until we got a bottle warmer. If you try feeing with the bottle before they are screaming in a starving fit, you might have more luck, too. Calm baby = more flexible baby.0 -
Have you checked out www.kellymoms.com? Lots of great info that helped me a ton with my first. With my second I bought I knew everything and then she ended up never taking a bottle. Especially look into growth spurts. It'll make you feel better to know nothing is wrong with your supply.
I second this. Fabulous website. It has answered so many of my questions!0 -
Thank you for the suggestions ladies..I will try all of them, can't hurt right lol0
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I'll start off by saying that before I had my baby I was one of those women who was adamantly against formula feeding (not judgmental, I just didn't want to do it for many reasons). Now that I've experienced how demanding breastfeeding is, I've changed my tune a bit. Brock isn't even two weeks old yet and we've had some great nights, but also three nights of cluster feeding (tonight is one of them) and the lack of sleep is killing me and causing me to be depressed. I also feel like I never know what's normal and if I'm doing things right. We are both sick with a cold and last night was actually a good night, today was a different story. It also seems like my baby blues are directly linked to the BFing. I've tried to pump but I'm not getting much right now since it's so early on. I guess I just need some encouragement because I don't want to give up :-(
Don't give up yet, mama! The first few weeks are the hardest. Breastfeeding my first was so hard. I just barely made enough milk for him and was up all the time, I felt like, feeding him. I eventually ended up co-sleeping with him so we both could fee/sleep. You got some great advice from the other mamas on here - it does get better after some time.
Remember to sleep when your little one sleeps and as mentioned previously, give yourself some time to get out and about - even for just a 5 or 10 minute walk. It really makes a big difference!0 -
I agree- no one really tells you how difficult bf'g can be. It's such a natural thing that you just assume it will come second nature but that didn't happen with me. I had to keep at it and eventually me and my son developed our groove- don't worry, it will come. I think the demands of bf'g made my baby blues worse too so I noticed it helped me to not bf in the nursery all the time where I felt isolated. I would feel better bf'g on the couch so I could talk wih the hubby and watch some of my fave tv shows. Also when I was brave enough I would go to a baby friendly place (buy buy baby or nordstroms-they have a great nursing room) to get out of the house and practice bf'g in public.
Like the others mentioned, there are some great online websites for bf'g help and baby growth spurts. You can do it!0 -
And does anyone have any advice on how to get a breastfeeding baby to take a bottle? My baby refuses every bottle and will only nurse. It would be nice to let someone else feed her once in a while so I can remove her from my side..any suggestions are appreciated. Thanks!!
Try warming the nipple too with the bottle.0 -
Oh breastfeeding woes. I have two daughters, 2 y/o and a 6 mo old. I breastfed my oldest and apparently forgot the early struggles when it came to my second. Once again I felt like it would come naturally and be easy as pie. Not so much. Those first few weeks with baby are rough. You are getting use to them, they are getting use to this new (loud, cold) world and then you add in breastfeeding (natural but not easy!!). It is rough. Hormones run crazy during that time as well. Just know that it will pass. Stick with it and in a few more weeks baby and you will both feel like old pros. Neither of my daughters had good latches and I had to use a breast shield with both of them for the first few months, once you get the hang of it it does become enjoyable and a great bonding experience. Of course there is no reason to feel bad about switching to formula either. As a nurse, I have always been on the side that you should breastfeed as long as possible whether that is 72 hours or 12 months, either way you provide that baby with the extra immunity that they will carry through their second birthday. However, formula is a great thing that will nourish and help your baby grow as well! Either way, trust your instincts and you will know what is right for your and your baby. I wish you all the luck with your new little one and congratulations!!0
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Hi mama!
Breastfeeding can be exhausting. I found it helpful to be aware of the times when babies have growth spurts. During a growth spurt, babies eat more, wake up more often to eat, and are much fussier. This can leave you really tired, as there is an increase in energy expenditure on your already exhausted body. There is a growth spurt between 2-3 weeks old. They usually only last a few days, and then your little monkey will get back to a normal sleep/eat routine.
If you really want to breastfeed - give yourself more time. It really does get easier. Those first few weeks are brutal, and you and baby are still trying to figure things out.
Try and get some naps in, too (I know, easier said than done)...
I totally agree with this. My son is 4 months now and the first 3 weeks were really rough. Being aware of the general time of growth spurts really helped me to put it into perspective that this is only temporary and it is completely normal. They say that, give or take a few days, major growth spurts happen at 3, 6, 9 weeks and 3, 6, 9 months. Most growth spurts last anywhere from 2-7 days and are very exhausting...but believe me they do pass! You will get through it mama!! Just take a few deep breaths, get your partner or a relative/friend to watch the baby for a little bit and have some you time. Take a nap or a nice hot bath...it will help and you will feel refreshed and ready to take it all on again. Good luck!!0 -
And does anyone have any advice on how to get a breastfeeding baby to take a bottle? My baby refuses every bottle and will only nurse. It would be nice to let someone else feed her once in a while so I can remove her from my side..any suggestions are appreciated. Thanks!!
my little guy is months as well and it was difficult to get him to take a bottle but we finally got it! we tried several different nipples and he would never take the bottle from me. turns out he hates silicone nipples and will only take the rubber ones...and like some of the other ladies said try letting someone else feed him. Consider even leaving the house for the first few bottle feedings...babies can smell your milk from at least 20 feet away...so leave the house so they can focus on the bottle. Then after a few successful bottle feedings it should be ok to be there for them as your baby will be more used to it. But seriously the biggest thing with our guy was the nipple...try a few different ones out...it may make a world of difference. He eats like a champ now!0 -
You can do this Momma!
The first few weeks/months can be such an adjustment and so hard. Give yourself permission to do what works for you and your baby/family.
My 2nd child is 3 months old. I struggled a lot in the first 5 weeks, which completely took me by surprise because my first 5 weeks with my first child were relatively easy. One night, when I felt so tired and hopeless, my mom came over and sterilized bottles for me which symbolically gave me permission to try formula as an alternative to breastfeeding.
I ended up choosing to persevere with breastfeeding instead, but just knowing I had support to choose an alternative was so powerful in those darker days. So take this post as the equivalent to me coming over and sterilizing bottles for you - you have support here. Good work on reaching out for help!
P.s. I too am a firm believer in the fourth trimester concept.0
