Brave guy asking for help ...
VTXJOCKEY
Posts: 362 Member
I frequently read the posts in this group but seldom post. The people here seem to be level headed and for the most part very helpful and nice. I just read the thread titled; Such an endearing lady" and had a thought. I'm not sure if it would be appropriate to ask this question here but I'm going to anyway. I've been single about 5 yrs and after casual dating I'm ready to find the right girl.
About a month ago I created a profile on POF. Would you read my profile on POF and provide feedback? I may be throwing myself out to the wolves here but I hope not! lol. The feedback can be here in this thread or you can send me a PM. Either way, please provide constructive criticism. I'll be checking back here to ask questions, provide thanks or maybe even to defend myself. lol. Just do a screen name search for "save14me"
Thanks in advance.
About a month ago I created a profile on POF. Would you read my profile on POF and provide feedback? I may be throwing myself out to the wolves here but I hope not! lol. The feedback can be here in this thread or you can send me a PM. Either way, please provide constructive criticism. I'll be checking back here to ask questions, provide thanks or maybe even to defend myself. lol. Just do a screen name search for "save14me"
Thanks in advance.
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Replies
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Jockey,
I don't want to access your profile from work, but can you paste what you wrote on here? I'll be glad to lend my advice....I did a bunch of online dating and tried so many different things. I'll tell you one thing...that little phrase next to your name the quote or whatever you call it, that was key. I would change it every so often and would instantly get an influx of e-mails.0 -
Thanks for the tip man. I wanted to paste it here but my work computer won't let me access the site either. I hope this isn't a common problem with this post.0
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SV is right.......changing your "headline" helps, because it puts you in the "new user" pile which people flock to......
I will look later at profile..............0 -
Although I imagine the "headline" might put you in the "oh I haven't seen that person before" pile, I think the main picture does that even more.SV is right.......changing your "headline" helps, because it puts you in the "new user" pile which people flock to......
I will look later at profile..............
Different people will like one different main pictures, and by changing from time to time your main pic, you attract new faces too.
Also my general advice would be: disclose as little as possible apart from the elephants in the room. Or play really specialised. Don't stand in the middle.0 -
Noted. Thanks0
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Do you have any other full body pictures other than shirtless in front of a mirror? The first two are good face pictures but the third one is the one type of picture that most women will roll their eyes at. Try to have a full body picture of you doing something you enjoy doing.
You have a spelling error as it should be quite playful not quiet playful.
The part about you enjoying sports I would take out the not particpating part since you also say you play tennis so that contradicts itself. Say something along the lines of I enjoy playing tennis and working out along with spectating other sports. You say you like to travel, mention one of your favorite places to go to. For the hobbies where you like wine and cook mix that in with liking to spend quiet nights at home.
Alot of what is in your profile comes off cliche so you need to have some specfics to show that you really are that way.0 -
Thank you!0
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Do you have any other full body pictures other than shirtless in front of a mirror? The first two are good face pictures but the third one is the one type of picture that most women will roll their eyes at. Try to have a full body picture of you doing something you enjoy doing.
You have a spelling error as it should be quite playful not quiet playful.
The part about you enjoying sports I would take out the not particpating part since you also say you play tennis so that contradicts itself. Say something along the lines of I enjoy playing tennis and working out along with spectating other sports. You say you like to travel, mention one of your favorite places to go to. For the hobbies where you like wine and cook mix that in with liking to spend quiet nights at home.
Alot of what is in your profile comes off cliche so you need to have some specfics to show that you really are that way.
Great advice, I can't read it until later either.
I must agree that shirtless bathroom picks make me go 'next'.
I am more interested in YOU than your body.0 -
Although I imagine the "headline" might put you in the "oh I haven't seen that person before" pile, I think the main picture does that even more.SV is right.......changing your "headline" helps, because it puts you in the "new user" pile which people flock to......
I will look later at profile..............
Different people will like one different main pictures, and by changing from time to time your main pic, you attract new faces too.
Also my general advice would be: disclose as little as possible apart from the elephants in the room. Or play really specialised. Don't stand in the middle.
I agree about the picture more than the headline.... I have opened someones profile more than once becuase I didn't recognize the picture and thought I hadn't viewed them before.0 -
Although I imagine the "headline" might put you in the "oh I haven't seen that person before" pile, I think the main picture does that even more.SV is right.......changing your "headline" helps, because it puts you in the "new user" pile which people flock to......
I will look later at profile..............
Different people will like one different main pictures, and by changing from time to time your main pic, you attract new faces too.
Also my general advice would be: disclose as little as possible apart from the elephants in the room. Or play really specialised. Don't stand in the middle.
I agree about the picture more than the headline.... I have opened someones profile more than once becuase I didn't recognize the picture and thought I hadn't viewed them before.
I once changed my headline to "As used up as a cucumber in a convent" and got a TON of emails saying it was so funny. I am corny like that...do something in your headline that reflects you. And yes, switch the photo up every now and then. If at all possible, have someone take the photo of you and not a self-taken photo.0 -
I agree with all of the above comments. I'll have to go back to read your profile later, but I really like Ruth's suggestions about specifics. Almost every profile has a cliche within it and we skim right over it, because honestly, you all say the same thing. Tell us details.
And, also agree with taking down the shirtless pic. Unless it's an action pic (race, beach, boating, etc), I'll skip right by any guy that posts a shirtless pic. 0 -
Agree with the above comments - DEFINITELY take down the shirtless picture if you want a quality individual to respond.0
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Thank you all for the comments so far. I will heed each and every one of them but I do have a question though. Three of you have recommended taking away the shirtless pic. I've received 4 or 5 messages complimenting that pic. I did receive one message where the lady said it was tasteless and inappropriate. I thought that comment made her sound a bit prudish. So, I'm thinking, I'm a guy who loves to flirt and have a good time. I don't want a prude. What fun are they? Therefore, I totally disregarded her message. So, now, I'm a bit undecided. Leave it or take it off. ??
Edited from 2 of you to 3 of you. She commented while I was writing this post.Do you have any other full body pictures other than shirtless in front of a mirror? The first two are good face pictures but the third one is the one type of picture that most women will roll their eyes at. Try to have a full body picture of you doing something you enjoy doing.
You have a spelling error as it should be quite playful not quiet playful.
The part about you enjoying sports I would take out the not particpating part since you also say you play tennis so that contradicts itself. Say something along the lines of I enjoy playing tennis and working out along with spectating other sports. You say you like to travel, mention one of your favorite places to go to. For the hobbies where you like wine and cook mix that in with liking to spend quiet nights at home.
Alot of what is in your profile comes off cliche so you need to have some specfics to show that you really are that way.0 -
So, I'm thinking, I'm a guy who loves to flirt and have a good time. I don't want a prude. What fun are they? Therefore, I totally disregarded her message. So, now, I'm a bit undecided. Leave it or take it off. ??
Edited from 2 of you to 3 of you. She commented while I was writing this post.
Those that know me here know that I am far from being a prude...I love to flirt and have fun too! But the bathroom picture is a cliche and belongs to 19 year old *kitten* who don't know any better and think their six pack is all it is going to take to get a girl. Hey, maybe that does work at 19..I'm not sure..but it truly isn't going to appeal to that many women in what I'd assume is your target age range. Flirty IS good..but do it with words..or in person. Women like a little mystery and are not generally as visual as men..so we really don't need to see you naked before we meet you.0 -
Thank you all for the comments so far. I will heed each and every one of them but I do have a question though. Three of you have recommended taking away the shirtless pic. I've received 4 or 5 messages complimenting that pic. I did receive one message where the lady said it was tasteless and inappropriate. I thought that comment made her sound a bit prudish. So, I'm thinking, I'm a guy who loves to flirt and have a good time. I don't want a prude. What fun are they? Therefore, I totally disregarded her message. So, now, I'm a bit undecided. Leave it or take it off. ??
Edited from 2 of you to 3 of you. She commented while I was writing this post.Do you have any other full body pictures other than shirtless in front of a mirror? The first two are good face pictures but the third one is the one type of picture that most women will roll their eyes at. Try to have a full body picture of you doing something you enjoy doing.
You have a spelling error as it should be quite playful not quiet playful.
The part about you enjoying sports I would take out the not particpating part since you also say you play tennis so that contradicts itself. Say something along the lines of I enjoy playing tennis and working out along with spectating other sports. You say you like to travel, mention one of your favorite places to go to. For the hobbies where you like wine and cook mix that in with liking to spend quiet nights at home.
Alot of what is in your profile comes off cliche so you need to have some specfics to show that you really are that way.
Take it off for sure. You are obviously very fit, choose some athletic gear that compliments your physique. Trust me, those ladies will notice without you being so obvious. If you are determined on being shirtless...go find a swimming pool and have someone take a photo of you holding a drink or something.0 -
Make it 4 to remove shirtless pic........
Only other point was the the spelling error that Ruth pointed out0 -
I had a shirtless pic on my OKC profile. I was standing on the beach with a paddle next to a kayak. When I deleted it, I started getting more replies.
Of course, with the tattoos I look like I just got out of prison, so that might have something to do with it. 0 -
Thanks for the explanations. The pic gets replaced tonight!0
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I hoped I could count on this group to assist. And I was right.
Keep rockin' peeps!!0 -
Of course, with the tattoos I look like I just got out of prison,
But in the sweetest way possible.. you cute little convict you..:laugh:0 -
Of course, with the tattoos I look like I just got out of prison, so that might have something to do with it.
That's just a matter of taste; I bypass the guys with more than one or two but I have a friend who thinks the more the merrier!! LOL0 -
I once changed my headline to "As used up as a cucumber in a convent" and got a TON of emails saying it was so funny. I am corny like that...do something in your headline that reflects you. And yes, switch the photo up every now and then. If at all possible, have someone take the photo of you and not a self-taken photo.
LOL Mine says 'ok I am here, what are your 2 other wishes' It screams my personality/humour.
The men who do reply always comment on it.0 -
I'll bring the science.
You (reader!) if you don't like numbers, first I hate you, second you're just ridiculous and third you're missing on a lot of good stuff.
Now that's this is out of the way...
It is actually true that women tend to contact men with great bodies (ohhhhh... Such a surprise. Not!).
So if you can afford it, you can go for it.
However...
The line on the left is the women met per attempt at contacting women. So if you're above 1, you're meeting more women than you are contacting. If you're below 1, you don't get responses for every woman you contact.
This graph shows that the effectiveness of abs pics decreases with age... So unless you're less than 30 y.o., there are no major bonus points for going shirtless (as opposed to not going shirtless).
What the other guys suggested (you doing an activity or at the beach or whatever) would look a lot better than you in front of the mirror, shirtless I believe.
As the first graph shows, the two other shots that are popular:
- With an animal
- Doing something interesting (guitar, singing or whatever you like to do)
The best conversation starter and goer is the "interesting shot" though (where you are doing something interesting), it makes people talk and can inspire a conversation.
As for your facial expression, go for:
- Not smiling,
- No eye contact with the camera.
Like this guy here:
Keep in mind that the overwhelming majority of online dating users are age 20-30 y.o. though, so numbers might reflect trends and preferences specific to this range.
Source: http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/the-4-big-myths-of-profile-pictures/
(OKCupid data with a pool of 7,140 average looking users)0 -
I like the graphs. I guess I am a terrorist. I disagree with this analysis and conclusion though:The line on the left is the women met per attempt at contacting women. So if you're above 1, you're meeting more women than you are contacting. If you're below 1, you don't get responses for every woman you contact.
This graph shows that the effectiveness of abs pics decreases with age... So unless you're less than 30 y.o., there are no major bonus points for going shirtless (as opposed to not going shirtless).
The graph shows that at age 31 the shirtless pic gets a response rate of 0.8. For all pics it is 0.6. That means you are 33% more likely to get a response with a shirtless picture.0 -
When I look at that picture I think -
1. why are your blinds closed and are you holding a blanket
2. why can't you look at the camera, are you shy or just not putting any effort into it
3. why don't you have a better picture than this where you are out and doing something
and 4. do you groom your eyebrows yourself?0 -
I like the graphs. I guess I am a terrorist.
Yeah, you are.0 -
I like the graphs. I guess I am a terrorist. I disagree with this analysis and conclusion though:The line on the left is the women met per attempt at contacting women. So if you're above 1, you're meeting more women than you are contacting. If you're below 1, you don't get responses for every woman you contact.
This graph shows that the effectiveness of abs pics decreases with age... So unless you're less than 30 y.o., there are no major bonus points for going shirtless (as opposed to not going shirtless).
The graph shows that at age 31 the shirtless pic gets a response rate of 0.8. For all pics it is 0.6. That means you are 33% more likely to get a response with a shirtless picture.
The graph stops at 31 so how does that pretain to a 50 year old man like the OP?0 -
I like the graphs. I guess I am a terrorist. I disagree with this analysis and conclusion though:The line on the left is the women met per attempt at contacting women. So if you're above 1, you're meeting more women than you are contacting. If you're below 1, you don't get responses for every woman you contact.
This graph shows that the effectiveness of abs pics decreases with age... So unless you're less than 30 y.o., there are no major bonus points for going shirtless (as opposed to not going shirtless).
The graph shows that at age 31 the shirtless pic gets a response rate of 0.8. For all pics it is 0.6. That means you are 33% more likely to get a response with a shirtless picture.
The graph stops at 31 so how does that pretain to a 50 year old man like the OP?
You can do the extrapolations yourself or ask Julesboot. She is teaching middle schoolers about line of best fit. :laugh:0 -
Maybe it increases to 5:1 which means 50 y.o. men with shirtless pics get contacted by 5 times more women than people without shirtless pic.The graph stops at 31 so how does that pretain to a 50 year old man like the OP?
Or judging by what women have been saying on here so far, we can imagine that shirtless pics aren't that popular at all with the 30+ crowd so the line keeps going down and down.
Dbright, yep, you are right it is a significant difference but at least it is not hopeless for us "padded men", and it gets better with time...0 -
I find it interesting somebody "brought the science". Yet, it differs from what you all are saying here. Although he makes a good point; "that shirtless pics aren't that popular at all with the 30+ crowd so the line keeps going down and down."
The over 30 crowd is just the crowd I'm trying to attract. Well, it's the over 40 crowd, to be honest.0
This discussion has been closed.