I need some advice... :-/
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chelsiem87
Posts: 316 Member
soooo confused right now and I need some of you mfp peeps to help me with some of your advise for those of you having a related issue. I'll apologize in advance for the length of this post but I thank you for giving me some of your time to read it and help a girl out...
So, I'm married- about 3 1/2 years to be exact and we've been together for about 8 years all together. We have a 17 month old daughter.. so far. I started my WL journey in September 2012 after my daughter's 1st birthday. I absolutley love MFP and the people on here, for the most part. I love the motivation and the help the site provides in itself. Anyways, my hubby is a very busy guy right now as he is attending trade school for computers and he has about a year left until he graduates. He recently just got a new PT job as a sales associate at a hardware store. He does not handle stress to well to begin with and with that being said, it's impossible to compromise with him right now about ANYTHINGMy husband and I have had some marital issues with loyalty, However neither one of us have ever cheated on one another, there was/is always that worriment, especially in the back of his mind. He has the mind-set that I'm doing this to get attention from other guys and that it will all "go to my head". On the other hand, he does support me doing this but wants me to do it for me and no one else. I also reassured him that I AM doing this for ME and only ME. i want to live a healthier lifestyle as well as teach my child/children the same thing as they grow up. I didn't have that as a child, and I wish i did.
During my WL journey i've changed my eating habits, started exercising and all the 'usual' things. I'm into zumba and I try to do some Tae Bo workouts at home when I have the motivation/time. I go to live zumba classes and I absolutley love it, even more so than at-home workouts. Just this past weekend I was invited by and ex co-worker/fb friend to attend a 30 minute bootcamp session with her and her personal trainer. I ended up going and LOVED it. I won't lie, I was sore as h**l, but it was totally worth it. The personal trainer is a male and he has had a personal WL journey himself, losing over 100Ibs! (which I can relate to this 100%) He contacted me thanking me for attending his FREE weekend bootcamp classes and that he hopes to see me again. I replied saying that he definitley would but that i wanted more information on his training and what not. He and I talked and we ended up setting up an appointment to meet and he even suggested my husband come along too and I was totally in agreement with that.
With all this being said, when I told my hub's about the appointment, he was upset and didn't like the idea, even after I got done telling him he could come along. He dosen't want to go b/c he has to work that night and he didn't want to be "running around all day". Then proceeded to make me feel bad that it's 'wear and tear' on the vehicle and the way gas is, it will be to expensive. I just don't know what to do. I'm at the part where I just want to seperate for a lil and then maybe things will change for the good and not just temporary, like they have been. I believe my husband has some insecurity issues and jealous issues that he's not admitting to and won't go to consueling for either. He's such a "debbie downer' sometimes and it frustrates the crap outta me!!!!
At times like this, i just wanna give up and say 'F' it, but I won't b/c I will do WHATEVER it takes!!
What's a girl to do??
So, I'm married- about 3 1/2 years to be exact and we've been together for about 8 years all together. We have a 17 month old daughter.. so far. I started my WL journey in September 2012 after my daughter's 1st birthday. I absolutley love MFP and the people on here, for the most part. I love the motivation and the help the site provides in itself. Anyways, my hubby is a very busy guy right now as he is attending trade school for computers and he has about a year left until he graduates. He recently just got a new PT job as a sales associate at a hardware store. He does not handle stress to well to begin with and with that being said, it's impossible to compromise with him right now about ANYTHINGMy husband and I have had some marital issues with loyalty, However neither one of us have ever cheated on one another, there was/is always that worriment, especially in the back of his mind. He has the mind-set that I'm doing this to get attention from other guys and that it will all "go to my head". On the other hand, he does support me doing this but wants me to do it for me and no one else. I also reassured him that I AM doing this for ME and only ME. i want to live a healthier lifestyle as well as teach my child/children the same thing as they grow up. I didn't have that as a child, and I wish i did.
During my WL journey i've changed my eating habits, started exercising and all the 'usual' things. I'm into zumba and I try to do some Tae Bo workouts at home when I have the motivation/time. I go to live zumba classes and I absolutley love it, even more so than at-home workouts. Just this past weekend I was invited by and ex co-worker/fb friend to attend a 30 minute bootcamp session with her and her personal trainer. I ended up going and LOVED it. I won't lie, I was sore as h**l, but it was totally worth it. The personal trainer is a male and he has had a personal WL journey himself, losing over 100Ibs! (which I can relate to this 100%) He contacted me thanking me for attending his FREE weekend bootcamp classes and that he hopes to see me again. I replied saying that he definitley would but that i wanted more information on his training and what not. He and I talked and we ended up setting up an appointment to meet and he even suggested my husband come along too and I was totally in agreement with that.
With all this being said, when I told my hub's about the appointment, he was upset and didn't like the idea, even after I got done telling him he could come along. He dosen't want to go b/c he has to work that night and he didn't want to be "running around all day". Then proceeded to make me feel bad that it's 'wear and tear' on the vehicle and the way gas is, it will be to expensive. I just don't know what to do. I'm at the part where I just want to seperate for a lil and then maybe things will change for the good and not just temporary, like they have been. I believe my husband has some insecurity issues and jealous issues that he's not admitting to and won't go to consueling for either. He's such a "debbie downer' sometimes and it frustrates the crap outta me!!!!
At times like this, i just wanna give up and say 'F' it, but I won't b/c I will do WHATEVER it takes!!
What's a girl to do??
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Replies
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First of all, congratulations on being committed to your health and weight loss! It's so awesome that you're doing this for yourself. I think you're absolutely right in thinking that it's important not just for you, but also for your children. Setting an example of health is wonderful, as is showing your kids that it's possible to achieve your goals! Plus, having a mom who has high self esteem and is proud of herself can never be a bad thing
Now, about your husband.. I'm sorry to hear that he's not as supportive as you'd like. It does seem as if he has some trust issues, and that he's using other reasons (gas money etc) to try to keep you from going to meet this trainer. I honestly think the best way to handle it is just through open communication - ask him if he's feeling jealous or possessive. If he says no, isn't willing to talk about the issue, and keeps blaming it on car stuff, I'd say to just explain to him how important this is to you and go anyway. If he's willing to be open about how he's feeling, that's great and I personally would want to take that really seriously and talk it through before you go see the trainer. Maybe you can find a compromise where he picks a time he's comfortable with and you can go together?
Hope this helps!0
