Long Distance Relationships....
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virichi08
Posts: 465 Member
Many people in some of the personal groups I am in are talking about Long Distance relationships where the relationship STARTS out with both partners in separate states. What is your opinion or experience with it?
Personally LDR's are not for me, but I would like to know others point of view on it.
Personally LDR's are not for me, but I would like to know others point of view on it.
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RUN!0
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I have tried it at the time that I was really thinking of moving back to MN. I started to date a guy, I had meet through mutual friends, back there and was the plan that I was going to be moving back within a year. Due to some schedule conflcts we did not get to see eachother as often as we would have liked which put a hardship on the relationship and it fell apart after about 4 months.
It could work for some people if there is a point where they will be living in the same area and are able to see eachother in person often enough.0 -
RUN!
lol. I'll SPRINT0 -
Depends on a few things....
1. How do you know them. If it's purely online and no mutual friends. RUN. If you met through mutual friends or family, it's a different story.
2. How long have you known them or been talking.
3. Have you ever met? Is it an old classmate, coworker, etc?
4. Realistically, how often will you be able to see each other, and are each of you good with that?
5. How committed are you to making it work? Are you both trusting and trustworthy?
6. Would you be willing to move if things work out? Yes, it would be nice for hiim to move, but you have to look at both sides of the coin.
I have been in two LDR... I knew both men prior. With both we made time for each other. We had "dates" via skype and facebook chat. We emailed daily and talked on the phone when possible. The first was deployed overseas and returning to my area, so I didn't have to worry about the "moving" issue. He returned home, we dated for awhile but things just didn't work out. The second was an old friend that I reconnected with via Facebook and was seemingly "the one that got away". Things were going great and we were in the midst of planning our real date when I received an email intended for his ex-wife in which he gushed about how much he loved her...awkward... I simply replied with "It was nice reconnecting with you. Good luck with this". All I could do was laugh.
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Depends on a few things....
1. How do you know them. If it's purely online and no mutual friends. RUN. If you met through mutual friends or family, it's a different story.
2. How long have you known them or been talking.
3. Have you ever met? Is it an old classmate, coworker, etc?
4. Realistically, how often will you be able to see each other, and are each of you good with that?
5. How committed are you to making it work? Are you both trusting and trustworthy?
6. Would you be willing to move if things work out? Yes, it would be nice for hiim to move, but you have to look at both sides of the coin.
I have been in two LDR... I knew both men prior. With both we made time for each other. We had "dates" via skype and facebook chat. We emailed daily and talked on the phone when possible. The first was deployed overseas and returning to my area, so I didn't have to worry about the "moving" issue. He returned home, we dated for awhile but things just didn't work out. The second was an old friend that I reconnected with via Facebook and was seemingly "the one that got away". Things were going great and we were in the midst of planning our real date when I received an email intended for his ex-wife in which he gushed about how much he loved her...awkward... I simply replied with "It was nice reconnecting with you. Good luck with this". All I could do was laugh.
WOW. For the ex-wife huh? Im sure he was mortified when he realized he sent it to the wrong person.0 -
Yeah, he tried calling me right away, but I let it go to voicemail... To be honest, with that man, I went in with eyes wide open and no expectations. I sent the email, deleted him from facebook and never looked back.0
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Yeah, he tried calling me right away, but I let it go to voicemail... To be honest, with that man, I went in with eyes wide open and no expectations. I sent the email, deleted him from facebook and never looked back.
Love it!!!! Happy you didnt answer. there's nothing to talk about after that!0 -
LDR are generally a bad idea.
Unless you are at that time in your life where "being with someone" only once in a while (if you are extremely busy) or casual sex is what you are looking.
But they are bad for anything serious, especially because of their "low intensity" and how little you know in the end about how compatible you are with the tentative partner.0 -
I don't know. It's been kind of one my mind.
Though I think it might only work if it was also an open relationship - in that you don't date other people but you could find others to fulfill the sexual needs.
I don't know. I try not to think about it too much and just roll with it.0 -
Yeah, he tried calling me right away, but I let it go to voicemail... To be honest, with that man, I went in with eyes wide open and no expectations. I sent the email, deleted him from facebook and never looked back.
wow0 -
Yeah, he tried calling me right away, but I let it go to voicemail... To be honest, with that man, I went in with eyes wide open and no expectations. I sent the email, deleted him from facebook and never looked back.
wow
Double Wow.
I'm in a long term relationship right now. We dated a couple months and then I moved away. I would never have started one, though, if I couldn't meet the guy in person within a short period of meeting on line.
I don't think it's necessarily true that you can't grow closer online. When I left for training, I talked with my boyfriend for about an hour every night. When I went forward to the Middle East, we weren't ale to have "phone calls" but we had internet so we skyped for about 10-30 minutes each day.
I wasn't expecting this. I expected the relationship to fizzle shortly after I left Shreveport. The problem is, because I expected the relationship to fizzle, I wasn't entirely honest with every single thing the way I am now that I'm planning to retire and we're talking long term plans. So we'll see what happens. But if it doesn't work out, it wasn't a function of the LDR, but rather the personality compatibility.
I suspect people who are in LDRs and don't plan on moving to/from the other party's area anytime soon are probably not being 100% honest either. Why rock the boat if you're never gonna have to live with him/her?0 -
i agree it depends. but in general not for me unless its temporary living situation and we will both be back in the same place in the very near future.0
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Meet in real life before starting any serious discussions, if it starts off on internet based friendship.
I wouldn't recommend it. My own experiences have made me cross it off the list.0 -
For me, I don't see why? I mean I live in a city of 1 million people, I am sure there are a lot of eligable men -- just not good at finding them LOL!!
I can see if you were already in something established and someone got a fantastic job offer or what not, but I think then you would have plans to move along with at some point.0
