I get independent speech evals through my insurance. It only costs me like $20 in a co-pay. Last year I got two of them because I wanted to increase the speech hours. It's harder for them to deny services when some professional with a bunch of degrees after their name says your child needs that service. It's all about data. You have to show your child needs that service and to make a case for it, you can't just ask (I mean you CAN) but it works better if you have something to back it up. You can even take data at home to make a point.

Read Wright's Law website. Tons of free information there to educate yourself about your rights.

Don't go alone. You can take a friend or relative or another mom of a special needs kiddo with you. You just have to say they have special knowledge about your child. You're allowed to bring someone who has special knowledge of your child. It's a lot easier to face a large group of educators if you're not there alone. I don't know if you're married or not, but if your spouse can come to the meeting, take him. You may be facing 7-8 people who are on the school's side.
Don't let them rush you. If they use jargon, make them explain it. Whatever you don't understand, ask them to clarify.

Make sure things are specific and measurable. Can a stranger measure the goal? "Michael will not display hostile behavior." Well will a stranger know what's considered "hostile". What you consider hostile isn't what I would consider hostile. You'd want to drill down to exactly what is considered hostile (hitting, kicking, punching, etc.)

I think those are all reasonable goals and goals they should help you with. You have a good mix of spoken language, cognitive, behavioral and social goals. Some of them like say #6, #5, #2, will not be mastered next year or the year afte, but there's no reason he can't start working on them at the level he's at right now.

I would write up the goals before the IEP so you have some samples for them if they ask how you want it worded. They usually want something like "will do it 4/5 times " or 80% mastery as a measure.

Certain goals you'll wanted mastered 100% like the potty goal. You don't want him going to the potty correctly only 75% of the time. When my ASD child was little, we had a goal for mastering the safety instruction, "Stop!". It had to be 100% mastery because it's a safety issue.

YOU are absolutely the expert on him. I used to defer to others now I don't. Not that I'm rude about it but I know that I'm the best expert on what my child's current needs are. It's important his PLEP sometimes called a PLOP..the present levels of performance reflects both his strengths and weaknesses.

Ok, this is a totally rediculous answer, but good for a laugh when all the IEP stuff wares you down.

http://www.mostlytruestuff.com/2012/11/ways-to-make-your-next-iep-awesome.html?showComment=1353289893747

lol B&B - it`s funny to think about if nothing else!

A big thank you to Starbuckette! I had seen that on facebook and didn't bookmark it. Brilliant stuff.
OP, your list of goals is great and the suggestions to break them down is great too, lots of great stuff has been suggested. One of the things that was suggested to us by a professional in dealing with these things is to make sure you take a picture of your son with you, so he's not just a number.

Oh and the best IEP is the one that gets used and has signs of wear and even a coffee stain or too. Good Luck!