Are men just too "Manly" to admit they need to lose weight?
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RolandChandler
Posts: 20
I am in my 40's now and was bought up in South Africa.
Any one that has even passed a telly recently understands that South Africa is a tough country.
As a kid, crying was for the weak and so the stage was set, show emotion or even mention the word feelings and you would be teased or told to man up, so for me being tough meant not being sensitive.
As a teanager I went to bording school and as a mixed up kid found intergrating hard. I decided to start to watch the successful kids and without realising it developed the ability to self analyse at the tender age of 15.
I have since seen the light and am pretty comfortable with who I am and how I feel, but many men are not.
What do you think...
Any one that has even passed a telly recently understands that South Africa is a tough country.
As a kid, crying was for the weak and so the stage was set, show emotion or even mention the word feelings and you would be teased or told to man up, so for me being tough meant not being sensitive.
As a teanager I went to bording school and as a mixed up kid found intergrating hard. I decided to start to watch the successful kids and without realising it developed the ability to self analyse at the tender age of 15.
I have since seen the light and am pretty comfortable with who I am and how I feel, but many men are not.
What do you think...
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Replies
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Hi Roland,
I am not sure what the reasoning is behind many men's difficulty with dealing with health issues, but there are clearly many different types of problem that show the same sets of symptoms: depression, weight gain, negative health indicators (cholesterol, low T, etc).
I think we need to to self analysis (as you described) to make sure that we are heading in the right direction. For me, when I was in my mid 30s I realized if I didn't change my lifestyle that I would very surely end up grossly overweight, alcoholic, and on medication for BP and cholesterol for the rest of my life. I'm not where I want to be now but I am WORLDS away from where I was. I hope other men can do this too.
The alternative is pretty dark and scary, in my opinion.
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Hey 9
Thanks for the reply.
I do agree the issues are complex.
I am curious, what made you have the realisation that you had to change, was there a specific event or experience?
Roland0 -
I think it is because we do not see the need and do not want to change our life style. We like our pizza and beer. We also live very busy lives, and working out only takes place when we have spare time. It is the first thing to be cut in our day if we run short on time.0
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In my case I was about 35 and about 30 lbs overweight. I drank every night and did zero exercise. My food intake was based on what was in the fridge. I ate until I was over full, and it really showed, especially in hindsight.
What really made me stop for a moment was this: my work started an annual program where if you got your blood checked and met with a "wellness" counselor you could get $250 off your annual medical premiums. I have four kids (three at the time) and money was/is definitely important, so I signed up.
When my numbers came back, the counselor said I had to see my doctor about the results. My doctor said I needed to go on medicine for high blood pressure and cholesterol. I knew that both my parents were on both of those, and they were in their late 60s at the time. So I thought "I'm going to have to take pills for the rest of my life? What kind of side effect might that have over years and years?"
So I opted to first clean up my diet. I reduced my drinking (which is another story, I was definitely headed in the wrong direction with alcohol). I stopped eating sugary sweets at work. Then french fries. Then potatoes. Then I restricted my bread intake, and so on. The weight started coming off.
Then I started exercising. I started by doing something every day (walking, lifting, whatever I could find time to do). As time went on I started to feel bad if I missed a day of activity, and I am lucky that I am able to workout on my lunchhour at work.
Long story short (well, maybe not so short), was that I improved my life dramatically without drugs, just by changing behavior. It took time, and maybe could have been done faster, but it has held. I will be 42 this year and around 185 lbs (which is about 15 below my max weight, but now my body fat is in the upper teens, not in the upper 20s.)0 -
I think you're right.
So the question becomes: How does one motivate (or cause motivation in) a person who is too busy and suffers needlessly from poor lifestyle choices?
In my case it was fear: I could see where my life would go if I didn't change. But some people see that same inevitability and don't care enough to change anything at all.0 -
I think it needs to come within. I know that I would not listen to anyone and had to decide on my own. I know I also want to feel more comfortable in my own skin. I look in the mirror and see everything that I don't like and don't want others to see. I want to hide inside my clothing, but know I cannot do that forever.0
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Interesting, so the overall just of the thread so far is that:
- Stress and time are major issues.
- Denial is certainly in there as well.
- There seems to be an event or group of events that triggers a realisation or an increase in motivation.
Thanks for the contributions so far, its getting interesting.
Off to bed.
Healthy Regards
Roland0
