Infertility is bumming me out, anyone want to commiserate?
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aquapup
Posts: 81 Member
Hi ladies, I'm going on two years trying to get pregnant. I miscarried last year and after that I didn't get a period, got diagnosed with PCOS and have been struggling with the infertility problem ever since. It's really confusing since I got pregnant pretty soon after we started trying and then after miscarrying suddenly my body isn't working. Why? Yeah, PCOS is about the only answer I can get. I did progesterone to get the period going again; now I've been on Clomid for 5 months and this month I didn't even ovulate. My doc wants me to skip the meds next month then we are going to either up the dose or do shots with a fertility specialist. My husband is bummed too so it's hard to keep a cheery house right now.
Anyone else? I'm trying to stay positive, but sometimes I just need to be upset about it. This is one of the upset times. It's hard too, because not all my friends know about it (I find it awkward to talk about) and so some of them bring up kids, or joke that it must be nice that I don't have a lot of stress in my life. None of my friends can really relate to this problem and I realize that I could tell them about it, but let's face it, this isn't a great party topic and it's hard for me to talk about. I thought I might feel better to talk with some others in this situation. Any takers?
Anyone else? I'm trying to stay positive, but sometimes I just need to be upset about it. This is one of the upset times. It's hard too, because not all my friends know about it (I find it awkward to talk about) and so some of them bring up kids, or joke that it must be nice that I don't have a lot of stress in my life. None of my friends can really relate to this problem and I realize that I could tell them about it, but let's face it, this isn't a great party topic and it's hard for me to talk about. I thought I might feel better to talk with some others in this situation. Any takers?
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I'm sorry you'r feeling bumbed. I know what you mean about needing o be upset I feel like that sometimes as well. Even if you do tell people you have PCOs and fertility issues they don't understand you're feelings about it, they think it should be easy to have hope that you'll have a baby. I have times where I m upset too and just want to be upset because the thing I want most is so difficult for me to get but not for people who aren't ready.0
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I'm sorry you are having a tough time also, but thanks for venting with me. And thanks for not trying to cheer me up (just knowing I'm not alone makes me feel better than anything else at this point). People try to say encouraging things if I do talk about it, but that often just makes me more upset. I often hear "it will probably happen" "I know someone who tried for X years and then they had twins!" or "you can always adopt". I don't find any of these comforting because it might not happen, someone else's story doesn't relate to me in any real way, and adoption is a) not the same, and not something we are ready to resort to yet and b) not like you can just go to the store and pick up a kid. Everyone who brings up adoption with me is someone who knows nothing about it. I'd be happy to hear from someone who actually adopted, but it is often given as a flippant response. Anyway, thanks for your input, you aren't alone and I can relate to the emotional turmoil!0
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Thanks! I understood what you needed as I have those days too. It's good to know that you're not,alone in your feelings. You can vent to me any time.0
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And I know what you mean about how when people try to cheer you up it ends up making you feel worse.0
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I was reading your topic and... I really feel the same.
The difference is I learned about it a few years ago, but at the time I was not married or thinking to have babies. I read to control the problem, the 1st thing is to control the weight, but it is not as easy as it sounds.
My hubby and I are trying to lose weight. He is losing so much you can see the difference on his cheeks.
For me... Well... Let is say I drink green tea every time I think of chocolate.0 -
It's rough. MFP is helping me stay in a healthy routine. For me I'm actually at a healthy BMI but unfortunately that doesn't seem to be enough. It does make me want to drown my feeling in ice cream but obviously that won't help beyond some very temporary relief... and then I'll have to work it off. I'm glad I can come here for support though. It's great that you guys are getting into a good routine, you are doing everything you can and that is something to be proud of.0
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Ask about femera! My first was a clomid baby, 3 cycles. This time clomid dind't work for me and now I am on femera. Still not pregnant, but It made me ovulate when clomid didn't. I don't know if now we have double trouble, hubby might be having issues too. I feel your pain its been super hard for me, everyone around me is pregnant, and it just makes me want to cry. Your turn will come soon!!0
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Sorry your bummed. I've been there too. I let myself get into a depression cycle because getting pregnant was just not happening for me. I hated that my first reaction to friends who had babies was jealousy, but didn't want to talk about it to anyone, for many of the same reasons you've mentioned. What I realize now is that there are more of us out there then you would think and sometimes it is wonderful to find people who've been where you are.
Luckily for me, I'm on the other side of the story now. Thanks to the help of one cycle of the shots, we will be joyously celebrating my son's 1st birthday in a little over a week.
I've always wanted more than one, so we've been trying again for a few months, but after a few semi-cycles after I weaned from bfing, I'm back to being irregular. I'm now trying to get my weight down and eat a little more healthily in hopes that it happens on its own, but if not I'll go back to get the fertility support. I guess I'm a bit like the people irl you are talking about who tell you stories of their friends having luck, but really it can happen.0 -
Thanks for the support and advice ladies, it does mean a lot and it helps just to feel understood. Good luck to you as well!0
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I can completely relate to you, having been exactly where you are. I am on the other side as well now but we never did conceive-we adopted. Adoption is a great thing and I am so glad our path went that way because our munchkin was definitely meant to be with us. Having said that, adoption is HARD! It is just as emotionally taxing if not more than dealing with infertility. We had two failed adoptions before this one actually happened. Not to mention expensive!
We were TTC from the time we married in 2004 until 2010. We tried Clomid and Femara. Clomid did not make me ovulate but Femara did so maybe try that. Our next step was injectable meds and we could not afford it since crappy insurance companies in our state do not cover any fertility treatments. That is a whole other thing that pisses me off so I won't go there. Are you on the forum called SoulCysters? It is great because you can get all sorts of advice from people who have been in your shoes.
I ended up just getting downright rude with people, unfortunately. I didn't mean to but I think I went in a defensive mode and had had enough. I am typically nice but the ignorant things people say to you can be too much when you are already dealing with such a loss. It hurts greatly to not be able to do the one thing you thought you were guaranteed and defines you as a woman. It is okay to feel that way.
I can tell you that now I am completely content. I can remember feeling like I would never make it though all the trials emotionally but now that we have a little family I am just fine.
If you have any questions I could answer feel free to ask. Good luck to you!0 -
Thank you so much Cindy. If we end up deciding to start looking into adoption I might message you for tips if you don't mind sharing.0
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You are very welcome! Absolutely, I am an open book
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Infertility has changed my life in so many ways. I totally understand how you're feeling. I tried for years to get pregnant, did the fertility drugs for about 3 years and couldn't afford IVF. It was so hard on me & so emotional I lashed out at everyone around me, eventually losing the relationship i was in at the time. I'm now 46 and have given up on having a child. I can't afford to adopt so thats not an option. I don't even want to be around kids anymore. I've lost friends because once they become pregnant I distance myself from them because its too painful. PCOS has changed my life in many ways, none of which have been positive. I hope someone out there is looking for a cure for this condition, although its not as serious as cancer its still a life changer and a painful disease to deal wtih.0
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Awe, Krista I am sorry for your situation. I know what you mean about pregnant friends, it is hard. I have been trying to go the other way a bit, I started volunteering at a kids museum, I love the kids, and just trying to look at the positives of my situation mainly that I get to play with them and try to help them learn something and I can devote all my attention to them while I am there. This infertility situation is SO frustrating, but for me this has been a help.
BUT sometimes I still need to vent and be a grouch! So thank you for sharing your story, you aren't alone dealing with this.
Also facebook drives me crazy! I unsubscribe from news feeds as soon as I see pregnant photos and cute wrinkly little babies, but when your friends comment or whatever the pictures still show up! I'm not willing to give it up though, I use it often for regular correspondence so I'll just grumble about it instead.0 -
Awe, Krista I am sorry for your situation. I know what you mean about pregnant friends, it is hard. I have been trying to go the other way a bit, I started volunteering at a kids museum, I love the kids, and just trying to look at the positives of my situation mainly that I get to play with them and try to help them learn something and I can devote all my attention to them while I am there. This infertility situation is SO frustrating, but for me this has been a help.
BUT sometimes I still need to vent and be a grouch! So thank you for sharing your story, you aren't alone dealing with this.
Also facebook drives me crazy! I unsubscribe from news feeds as soon as I see pregnant photos and cute wrinkly little babies, but when your friends comment or whatever the pictures still show up! I'm not willing to give it up though, I use it often for regular correspondence so I'll just grumble about it instead.
I also have many pregnant friends blocked and try not to talk about pregnancy. I am going to try hard to remember my feelings about,it ao if I get pregnant I don't talk all about it on Facebook.0 -
I went through it myself many years. 4 years for my first child, and then 7 1/2 years later for my second child. Clomid never worked for me and went to infertility specialist both times successfully(although it was a full year of treatments on the first child). With my second child, it only took a prescription of Metformin (a medication usually treated for diabetes). I got pregnant the first month! Talk to your physicians about it! And research it! Good luck!0
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I talked about metformin with my doctor a while ago, but I'm not overweight, diabetic, or insulin resistant (I tested insulin resistant once right after I misscarried - I was doing some unhealthy emotional eating at that time, but they tested again and it was normal). I've got an appointment set up with a fertility specialist so I'll ask him about it when I go. Thanks for the input0
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I am also struggling with PCOS and infertility. It is incredibly overwhelming. I would love a few buddies who understand what I'm going through. Feel free to add me!0
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It's the "gift" that just keeps giving. I came off the pill, eager to start a family. Then came the resurgence of acne and hair loss (from high testosterone). I was diagnosed with PCOS, and got pregnant on the first round of clomid. Unfortunately, the baby didn't make it. At 9 weeks there was no heartbeat. I'm still bleeding and my hcg levels are still high, so I have no idea if and when my period will come again. I also don't know if the clomid will work again, when, and on what dosage. it is incredibly frustrating. In addition to the grief of the loss of our child, I also feel extreme guilt from the PCOS. Without it, I feel like we could already have a healthy baby to hold. There is no reason to believe the PCOS was the cause of the miscarriage, but the doctors did mention taking progesterone supplements if I am able to conceive a second time.
I am also a healthy weight and do not have insulin resistance.0 -
I haven't started trying to conceive yet but I just got married and I want to start sometime soon. I don't want to even sound like I know what is going through your head but I do know how hard it is to be told that you might never conceive naturally. But I did want to weigh in on the fact that you are at a healthy weight and you are not insulin resistant. From all the research I have done, when you are TTC with PCOS even if you are at a healthy weight, losing 10% of your current body weight will help. Cutting out processed carbs and bumping up the protein should also help. I hope this helps a bit!0
