feeling your feelings is hard but necessary
brenn24179
Posts: 2,144 Member
thanks so much for this site. Yes I am an emotional eater and kind of got beat up over this. Someone said you eat when anything happens to you, blaim us because you have no self control when I suggested being positive. Sometimes these boards are not sensitive but maybe this will help.
I went to a funeral of my best friends husband and on top of that one of our good friends did not come, yet she eats out with us every month and boy was I angry. Then it snowed the weekend, and for some reason makes me eat. My hubby wanted cornbread but I said No, we will do that later. (good for me).
Also, I think we all deal with no self control at times, that is why we are here but was too shocked to reply. I just hit that ignore user key. Now I have to let go of a narcisstic friend or have low contact with her, sad. Life is hard but I dont want to eat over it, went to the gym. I know I have to tell this friend I am angry also, confront and this is hard.
I went to a funeral of my best friends husband and on top of that one of our good friends did not come, yet she eats out with us every month and boy was I angry. Then it snowed the weekend, and for some reason makes me eat. My hubby wanted cornbread but I said No, we will do that later. (good for me).
Also, I think we all deal with no self control at times, that is why we are here but was too shocked to reply. I just hit that ignore user key. Now I have to let go of a narcisstic friend or have low contact with her, sad. Life is hard but I dont want to eat over it, went to the gym. I know I have to tell this friend I am angry also, confront and this is hard.
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Thanks for posting the first topic.
I agree with you and like you I also emotionally eat and beat myself up.
I also have mindset -- people come into your life for a reason and leave your life for a reason.0 -
thanks for your reply, yes I think people come into your life for a reason and leave for a reason also. This helps.
Someone on the site before we got this going says You seem to want to eat at the drop of a hat> well, yes that is why I am here. I am not an alcoholic. I am a foodaholic. I don't like to deal. I had rather eat and be numb. And of course happy, well kind of, a false happiness and not so happy when those clothes don't fit.
Life is hard but since I am focusing more, not doing mindless eating, I am dealing more. Like yesterday in the snow, I had to find other ways to comfort me besides eating. A day in the cold I could see myself cooking cornbread and a bunch of stuff but I read a lot, stayed on the computer, did some home exercises, it was good. I had soup which was healthy also! I think dealing and learning to take care of ourself instead of everyone else (that is us Moms) is difficult but doable. Yep, I am now doing some problem solving and dealing, feels good but have to admit IT WAS EASIER TO EAT,LOL I will fix hubby cornbread next week but not on a snow day, I am too vulnerable, not quite strong enough for that and that is ok. getting better.0 -
I am an emotional eater. I want to eat when I am sad, happy, excited, depressed. My eating cycle began when a boy broke my heart
when I was 13 and I have been doing this ever since...I am 45. Last year was the worst.. My husband of 21 years cheated on my then abandoned our marriage. I threw up for 8 weeks and lost 40 pounds then 6 months later turned to food and gained it back. I want victory over this bondage.0 -
Good for you Brenn for being mindful of your feelings and the patterns that have been created in your life. I can identify how it can be uncomfortable finding new ways of coping with feelings, certain moments, situations, interpersonal relationships, ect. Good for you for taking your power back.
It gets easier.
Thanks for sharing.0 -
So glad you are here. I started this group for people like us,that need love and understanding,as some people just don't understand. I am hoping we get to a place,on our journey,that we will be able to let cruel comments not lead us to food. I am proud of you,as it seems as if you realize that some friends are only with us for a season,and them it comes time to move on. So nice to meet everyone!0
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Winter is a tough time to diet(for me,anyway).. Looking forward to sunny days,when I get get out and powerwalk. I have a problem,with sitting at the computer too much,when I should be active. Need to learn balance! Any tips?0
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Bless your heart. Here is a big (((((hug)))))) for you. I am sorry for what has happened in your life. Please come back,and let us support you. Please take good care of yourself,even if it's soaking in a hot tub or getting a massage. Take care.0
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I love your kitty! Thanks for giving Bree such positive feedback! She deserves it. Have a great week!0
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I am an emotional eater. I want to eat when I am sad, happy, excited, depressed. My eating cycle began when a boy broke my heart
when I was 13 and I have been doing this ever since...I am 45. Last year was the worst.. My husband of 21 years cheated on my then abandoned our marriage. I threw up for 8 weeks and lost 40 pounds then 6 months later turned to food and gained it back. I want victory over this bondage.
oh my, yes lose that weight, living good and thin is the best revenge. I went thru a divorce, I also had narcisstic parents just like my Xhusband, it was a nightmare, they were chummy with him, very painful. It has been 20 yrs and I can still feel the pain.0 -
What I am most enjoying about this group is the drama.
Before, you say, whoa, what is she talking about........and become defensive ---- hear me out.
My impression is those coming in and leaving thread posts are older individuals who have seen a handful of life's ups and downs. May have experienced one (or more) times of depression in their life. Had their heart broken -- seen ending of relationships - feel overwhelmed. You name it -- probably one or several individuals experienced it.
And food was a comfort item. It's awesome to see others open up and be honest with their relationship with food.
I like the drama because it is showing me that a) my experiences may be similiar to another and b) we can learn coping skills from each other.
It's very refreshing and I feel blessed already.0 -
PlumCrazyGirl, it sounds as though you are in the right place. Glad your here
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You will have victory over your circumstances....claim it!!!! I completely understand what you are going through. I called off an engagement about 9 months ago to a man who would have end up emotionally abusing me. I turned to food (which was unlike me) to help me through but all that did is depress me more because I now have gained 40 pounds. I have to do all the hard work and patience to lose it back :-(
I was in two abusive marriages before the engagement I broke off and my family pressed me everyday about how they didn't want to see me hurt again.
I blamed all of them for a while because I wanted to be with this man whom I thought loved me and I loved him. He was educated, successfull and he wanted me with three children from previous marriages.
What I now know is I have to be happy with who I am and love the skin I am in before anyone else could ever love me. I cannnot allow my emotions to lead me to food.
It's certainly and uphill battle to fight and I battle it everyday.
We gonna do this thing together :-)I am an emotional eater. I want to eat when I am sad, happy, excited, depressed. My eating cycle began when a boy broke my heart
when I was 13 and I have been doing this ever since...I am 45. Last year was the worst.. My husband of 21 years cheated on my then abandoned our marriage. I threw up for 8 weeks and lost 40 pounds then 6 months later turned to food and gained it back. I want victory over this bondage.0 -
What I now know is I have to be happy with who I am and love the skin I am in before anyone else could ever love me. I cannnot allow my emotions to lead me to food.
Wise words0 -
We are in the right place, because in order to change we have to admit what it is we need to change. Joining this group is the first step. I see a lot of heartbreak in this group and it makes me sad! Then I think, who am I to be sad for these individuals, I should rejoice that they found strength to say what they feel connects their emotions to the food.
I have struggled with my weight my whole life, I have never been thin and will never be a size 0....the key for me has been to see where I learned the eating behaviors from (my family) and what I am lacking that I have to give myself over to the food.
What I have found is that I didn't have a single person in whom I could confide everything. I needed a person that would rejoice the good times, cry with me through the bad times and help pick up my pieces. I needed someone to show me unconditional love, like I thought food was doing.
Sometimes telling about your heartbreak, finding a new friend and voicing those feelings are all we need. I no longer need a cheeseburger when my boss yells at me, I need to go to the gym with my fiancee and tell him about it while biking or walking!
I encourage you all to think about where the relationship with food was learned and ask yourself
1) Am I hungry? If not, walk out of the kitchen
2) If I am not hungry, what am I feeling?
3) What do I need to get through this feeling?
I am working hard at this myself, but I have seen improvement in my emotional eating!!!
*feel free to add me if you do need someone to talk to!0 -
so nice to read stories about positive changes and actually see people supporting each other thanks for starting this thread. i have managed to lose 21 lbs over the last 3 months and to curb the emotional eating has been soooo hard for me. I have a husband who works nights quite often so i'd regularly comfort eat out of boredom or loneliness. also, i suffered pretty severe post-natal depression after my daughter was born in 2010 and that definitely did not help my eating habits. so if there are any other women on here who are struggling with that then please feel free to add me, i may be of some use to you! everyone has their reasons for emotional eating,and at some point we have to start being honest with ourselves about those reasons so we can win the fight! 0
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I know there are some obnoxious people on mfp, but ya seem different here talking about our feelings. I was offended when someone in the motivation section said I had a bad relationship with food and I felt like oh no something is terribly wrong with me but then I thought well others must have it to or they would not be on here. Yes I do have a bad relationship with food and I am trying to change it, I am trying to find other ways to cope when I dont want to confront and confront anyway, when I dont want to deal and deal anyway. Heck I want to eat when weather is bad but last time started cleaning the house. When I got angry, I went to the gym instead of eating.
Trying to discipline myself and have self control. It is hard but what choice do we have. Do the best with what we have. I am beginning to have some good foods and not just chicken and salad and limit myself. I can now fit in my Easter skirt this weekend after 19 lb loss here at mfp. I must say giving up my bad habits is hard especially the unpleasantness of feeling pain and not numbing myself with food. I can see why I had a bad relationship with food, it is easier and now I have to do the tough stuff and discipline myself and deal and problem solve, ooh it hurts but then feels good.
I guess I developed this destructive pattern when I was younger and it was easier not to feel the pain. I had abusive parents who were very neglectful and food definitely soothed me but I am now an adult and want to deal not eat.0 -
It's challenging not to to turn to food as the self soothe/self medicating item.
We must undo all our bad habits... it's hard to drop a bad habit.0
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