Sugar Babies
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That age creeps up as I get older, for sure, but I laugh at my 40+ coworkers bragging about all the hot 22 year olds they can get. It's the rare 22-25yr old that truly is interested in a guy that much older. Generally she's getting something else from him, not in love with him. It's funny to me that guys can't see this. I used to try and tell them when I see it happen, but no one wants unsolicited advice so I don't bother anymore.
Some younger women find older men attractive. Probably more than you think. I suppose the vast majority, however, seek someone who is more age compatible. Plus 5-10 years max.
I find younger women attractive. I find older women attractive. It really depends. I don't have much in common with younger women. They certainly can't relate to my lifestyle, which revolves heavily around my two children.
I have dated younger women. I didn't get the impression they were dating me for my money. I don't think I was being naive, either. For example, I dated a successful lawyer in her late 20's. She was very intelligent, spent a lot of time at work, so we understood each other. She couldn't really relate to men her age. She did well for herself financially, but could care less about money. She was one of the least materialistic people I've ever met.
Also, people date, fall in love, and marry for a variety of reasons. I don't think anyone here should claim omniscience in what is "official love" and what is just "pretend love".
--P0 -
That age creeps up as I get older, for sure, but I laugh at my 40+ coworkers bragging about all the hot 22 year olds they can get. It's the rare 22-25yr old that truly is interested in a guy that much older.
We're an endangered species.
Kit, I believe you and other ladies in this forum are genuinely open to a wide variety of ages, backgrounds, and such.
However, I've often heard that a woman who consistently falls in love with men 20+ years older is subconsciously trying to resolve daddy issues. The first time I heard that, I was at the time interested in a guy 15 years older than me and I was quite vehement, "No that's not true!" But the more I thought about it, the more I realized me and this guy had very little in common (different generations of music, pastimes, even style of relating). I realized what I liked about him WAS the fatherly component I didn't have growing up - the fact that I could trust him, he was protective, and he doted on me like daddy's little princess.
Not saying anything is wrong with such an age gap (my parents are that far apart and they have a marriage most envy) just saying what I've heard and observed.0 -
That age creeps up as I get older, for sure, but I laugh at my 40+ coworkers bragging about all the hot 22 year olds they can get. It's the rare 22-25yr old that truly is interested in a guy that much older.
We're an endangered species.
Kit, I believe you and other ladies in this forum are genuinely open to a wide variety of ages, backgrounds, and such.
However, I've often heard that a woman who consistently falls in love with men 20+ years older is subconsciously trying to resolve daddy issues. The first time I heard that, I was at the time interested in a guy 15 years older than me and I was quite vehement, "No that's not true!" But the more I thought about it, the more I realized me and this guy had very little in common (different generations of music, pastimes, even style of relating). I realized what I liked about him WAS the fatherly component I didn't have growing up - the fact that I could trust him, he was protective, and he doted on me like daddy's little princess.
Not saying anything is wrong with such an age gap (my parents are that far apart and they have a marriage most envy) just saying what I've heard and observed.
For me it's actually the opposite. I had a fabulous relationship with my father and still do to this day. I strive to find the things I value in him in the men that I date. He has set the bar really high which is why I'm so picky about boyfriends
On that note my father is 14 years old than my mother. She was 18 and he was 32 when they met in Germany while he was stationed there. They didn't know each others ages when she put the moves on him, they started dating and were in love by the time they figured it out - but it didn't matter. Six months later they were married.
I openly admit that I'm looking for a man like my father - intelligent, logical, funny, nerdy, motivated, loyal and capable of so much love. He has facial hair and is a good looking guy, even now in his 60's he looks younger than his age and flirts up a storm with beautiful women far younger :laugh:0 -
As long as you let other people judge freely - because they can and want - I suppose there is no harm done in standing aside with a neutral stance.
Aha - and thus why I chose my words quite carefully in saying "I" cannot judge...because this is based on a personal and admittedly relatively laissez faire attitude towards the sexuality of others and a general dislike of judgement, hypocrisy and legalism in regards to morality.In other words, it isn't true to say that because something happens between two "consenting adults" you are not entitled to judge (all drugs would be legal everywhere otherwise).0 -
Both!!!! More so the paying for sex, but the old creepy man factor comes heavily into play.
It bothers me, plain and simple. It probably has nothing to do with me, but a lot of things don't technically "concern"' us directly but I still care.
As a somewhat older gentleman (cough, cough), I'm not sure I like you describing sex I may be having with younger women "creepy" or "gross". Although I won't fixate on it, I promise.
--P
It's not gross. You know what's gross? People who get older and wiser and more awesome all around and stop having sex because young little shtheads tell them they are no longer attractive or wanted or sexually necessary, that they need to bribe young girls for it and that is their only hope of getting laid. The older you get, the more you know what you want and you should go for it.
Im going to be the fittest, playfullest, happiest, most sexually satisfied grandma ever. And if Grandpa doesnt wanna whip it out anymore, he has to buy me a sugar baby of my own. He can watch.
put that ish on my fracking headstone.
You read into my post way wrong but good for you.
I didnt read anything into you post, I was responding to HIS post, but good for you. :flowerforyou:0 -
This topic has definitely evolved! Personally, I am attracted to much older men -- give me a man in his mid to late 40s who is attractive, intelligent and exudes confidence, and I am smitten. This has nothing to do with so-called "daddy issues" or a desire for material comfort. I have a certain type -- everyone does -- why should my personal preference be open to judgement?
As far as this young woman and others in her situation, I really can't say that I blame her. It's really hard to judge somebody's motivation when you really don't have all of the facts. I will admit, at one point I was in a situation where I was broke and homeless, and an older man (51 -- I was 24, and a very young 24 at that) offered to let me live with him. Yes, he paid for everything. It turned out to be a terrible situation, but for a while I truly thought I loved him.
I think the difference between me then and me now is that I have realized how much you need to make your own opportunities. Back then I thought that I had no options and jumped at the chance to be "taken care of". Now I know that I have so much more to offer someone than sex. I decided my life needed a change and the best way to do that was going to grad school. I had no way of paying for it, so I chose the school, chose the teacher, applied for an assistantship and did my best to convince them that I would be a valuable asset. Guess what? It worked.
In some ways, I agree with flim. I think that people get themselves into financial situations where they feel they have no options and do what they think is best. Education is ridiculous -- there is no reason for this.0 -
Since my phone is being ridiculous, and I've already been far too verbose, I will wrap this up. As mentioned, education is ridiculously expensive, so yes, perhaps these girls and guys see an easy way to finance it and get themselves a "benefactor". If education were not so crazy expensive, would this be necessary? I'm not sure. Perhaps one could focus on what makes them truly valuable to society rather than how much they can get paid for sexual favors. It's an interesting thought at least.
Oh, and I prefer to stay out of a relationship with an older man (or any man) until I feel that I am more on an equal footing with him. I do not want to feel as though I have to depend on anyone for support ever again. It really does not make for equality in a relationship.0 -
As the article mentions - it can mirror the way a relationship works.
A friend supported his girl friend through College; paying for everything in her life.
Does that make her essentially a prostitute?
What about 'house wives' (whether married or not).
I saw something on Ricki Lake or whatever (years ago and I'm a brit, so even less likely to remember which) where a teenage kerb crawler was being confronted.
She said something along the lines of "well, traditionally the guy spends all this money on dates to basically get sex... I like having sex, but would prefer to have the money to do what I wanted, than spend a few hours eating an expensive meal... we both come out getting what we want."
For me there has to be that emotional element; but for a lot of situations you could boil it down to 'just prostitution' if you look at it from the right angle.0 -
That age creeps up as I get older, for sure, but I laugh at my 40+ coworkers bragging about all the hot 22 year olds they can get. It's the rare 22-25yr old that truly is interested in a guy that much older. Generally she's getting something else from him, not in love with him. It's funny to me that guys can't see this. I used to try and tell them when I see it happen, but no one wants unsolicited advice so I don't bother anymore.
Some younger women find older men attractive. Probably more than you think.
I'm pretty sure less women find guys that much older attractive than you would like to believe. Or than they lead you to believe.0 -
Some younger women find older men attractive. Probably more than you think.
I'm pretty sure less women find guys that much older attractive than you would like to believe. Or than they lead you to believe.
Although, on 2nd thought, the person I quoted looks younger than he is so I might be wrong in his case.
But it cracks me up when my 40+ coworkers think that coed is into them. I think back to the chatter I used to hear back when I tutored college girls and just chuckle.0 -
That age creeps up as I get older, for sure, but I laugh at my 40+ coworkers bragging about all the hot 22 year olds they can get. It's the rare 22-25yr old that truly is interested in a guy that much older. Generally she's getting something else from him, not in love with him. It's funny to me that guys can't see this. I used to try and tell them when I see it happen, but no one wants unsolicited advice so I don't bother anymore.
Some younger women find older men attractive. Probably more than you think.
I'm pretty sure less women find guys that much older attractive than you would like to believe. Or than they lead you to believe.
Apparently you know more about the women with whom I interact than I do.
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Some younger women find older men attractive. Probably more than you think.
I'm pretty sure less women find guys that much older attractive than you would like to believe. Or than they lead you to believe.
Apparently you know more about the women with whom I interact than I do.
--P
There are issues in this forum where the guys eventually say something like "how do you ladies not get this" about men. It works both ways.
I don't have to know you and your personal situation to know that most of the time (though there's always exceptions) women with that large an age gap aren't as into those guys as the man believes.0 -
Some younger women find older men attractive. Probably more than you think.
I'm pretty sure less women find guys that much older attractive than you would like to believe. Or than they lead you to believe.
Apparently you know more about the women with whom I interact than I do.
--P
There are issues in this forum where the guys eventually say something like "how do you ladies not get this" about men. It works both ways.
I don't have to know you and your personal situation to know that most of the time (though there's always exceptions) women with that large an age gap aren't as into those guys as the man believes.
I agree Janie...all the young girls I know flirted with older men to get drinks not because they like them...0 -
There are issues in this forum where the guys eventually say something like "how do you ladies not get this" about men. It works both ways.
I don't have to know you and your personal situation to know that most of the time (though there's always exceptions) women with that large an age gap aren't as into those guys as the man believes.
Perhaps. But I've also noticed that older women are quite threatened by younger women. And hence their need to downplay the real attraction that some younger women have to older men. I suppose there's some solace in hoping these older men are being played.
It's a bit unfair, but it's still more typical to see an older man in a serious relationship with a much younger woman. I'm not just talking about a bit of cougar fun, or buying drinks in a bar, but a serious relationship.
--P0 -
Not for me, but if it works for both parties involved then no judgement.
I could never be a sugar momma--I don't have the $
This and because I have no need to pay for sex when I can get it for free. lol0 -
Patrick, Janie.
You guys are sniping at each other about an entirely arbitrary interpretation of nonspecific events, you realize that right?
It's totally possible for you both to be "right" in this scenario.0 -
Patrick, Janie.
You guys are sniping at each other about an entirely arbitrary interpretation of nonspecific events, you realize that right?
It's totally possible for you both to be "right" in this scenario.
Agreed! Just let it go guys. You're both entirely right :flowerforyou:0
This discussion has been closed.