Would you tell your girlfriend to put on makeup?
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JanieJack
Posts: 3,831 Member
Been discussing this in another forum... and I suspect the responses are colored by people's attempts to play nice (and be attractive to fellow singles) so I'd love your raw opinions on this, thanks!
A guy friend me what he would say to his girlfriend: She is the type that can dress up or dress down and he’s usually happy with her appearance (T shirt to sporting events, dress up for dinners out), but she doesn't look that great w/o makeup because of a skin condition that leaves her with really noticeable splotchy spots. He's ok with her going natural when they're at home or in the woods but was kinda embarrassed when he took her to meet some old family friends and she dressed super casual, no makeup, hair pulled back. She didn’t really shine in front of his old friends. She's gonna accompany him on a business cruise/trip with some of his family members and he wants to make sure she wears makeup as often as reasonably possible.
A female coworker said if she looked that bad he shouldn't be dating her. Let her find someone who appreciate her natural appearance. My thought is tell her if it’s that important to him. Appearance is important to me (I’m the girl who told my boyfriend he had bad teeth). My take is that some people just need help, and there's nothing wrong with admitting your partner doesn't look so good without makeup. Maybe it's because I have a lot of scarring and can totally understand this without being offended.
What do you think? What would you tell this guy?
Original thread here: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/944450-how-do-you-tell-your-girlfriend-be-cute-for-this
A guy friend me what he would say to his girlfriend: She is the type that can dress up or dress down and he’s usually happy with her appearance (T shirt to sporting events, dress up for dinners out), but she doesn't look that great w/o makeup because of a skin condition that leaves her with really noticeable splotchy spots. He's ok with her going natural when they're at home or in the woods but was kinda embarrassed when he took her to meet some old family friends and she dressed super casual, no makeup, hair pulled back. She didn’t really shine in front of his old friends. She's gonna accompany him on a business cruise/trip with some of his family members and he wants to make sure she wears makeup as often as reasonably possible.
A female coworker said if she looked that bad he shouldn't be dating her. Let her find someone who appreciate her natural appearance. My thought is tell her if it’s that important to him. Appearance is important to me (I’m the girl who told my boyfriend he had bad teeth). My take is that some people just need help, and there's nothing wrong with admitting your partner doesn't look so good without makeup. Maybe it's because I have a lot of scarring and can totally understand this without being offended.
What do you think? What would you tell this guy?
Original thread here: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/944450-how-do-you-tell-your-girlfriend-be-cute-for-this
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some people like the natural look,,, I DO NOT/.
Put some make up on!0 -
I despise make-up and consistently badger my love about wearing it. She has no need of it and honestly, I don't think anyone really does. I would prefer to see the real person rather than what they can create.
So to answer, no, I would never tell my girlfriend to put on make-up.0 -
This is why people get married.
No, you should not tell your girlfriend to put on makeup.
Yes, you should tell your wife to put on makeup and make a sandwich.
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I am not a make up type girl, but I have been blessed with good skin. However, I know when I need to more polished look vs natural. I do not know if a cruise is that time. I would assume that they will be in and out of water, sand and wind...putting on makeup is really pointless in this case. Evening dinners, yes...all day, no.
In the grand scheme of things is it ok for him to ask her to do this? Yes. Does she have to go along with it? No.0 -
Women don't like hearing that stuff from men, so I'd have my wife tell my girlfriend to put on makeup.0
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I think this is the best course.Women don't like hearing that stuff from men, so I'd have my wife tell my girlfriend to put on makeup.
And I agree this guy should not be dating this woman. He's embarrassed because she has blotchy skin? Seriously? Tyat's "love" for ya.0 -
I feel very strongly that the person that is 'right' for you will be right for you in any circumstances. If you are embarrassed by them at 'their worst' then they are not the right person for you. If you have to tell someone to wear makeup or even NOT wear makeup - they are not the right person for you.
The right person will always do what is right for you at the right time. What is right varies on the people... Some ladies would never leave the house without being 100% made up all the time. Some men would never date a lady that was always made up. One is not right / wrong it just IS. It's not something you ever have to say anything about - you are just not compatible.0 -
Honestly, I'm not a fan of make up... in summer it just melts off and feels very heavy and I sweat more on my face when I wear it... no matter how light the make up is supposed to be... with that said, I also know when I'm supposed to wear it (business events for my husband, church, special events, etc) even though I don't when I go to work... in fact, I haven't consistantly wore make up to work since I started working... It's so time consuming to put it on and for what? So I can look pretty in my cubicle tucked away from everyone? No thank you. But I wouldn't mind a gentle reminder (even if I already know) when appearances are a big deal.0
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:noway: :noway: :noway: :noway:
The one and only time my husband has ever given any suggestions on what I should be wearing was when he was surprising me by taking me out to a very fancy establishment. And even then, his instructions were, "wear something that shows off how pretty you are, we're doing something really nice." That was given so I would feel comfortable and be prepared. NOT becuse he had an opinion that I was unacceptable in any other outfit.
I would NOT take kindly to anyone ever suggesting that I "need" to wear makeup.0 -
Unsolicited comments regarding your displeasure someone's bad breath? Acceptable.
Unsolicited comments regarding your displeasure with someone's natural appearance? Not-acceptable.0 -
I have not worn make-up in at least a decade, and do not think I would bother with someone that thinks I need to.....
If he is embarrassed by the way she looks, SHE should dump him and find someone that will love her for her......0 -
I wore makeup one day in my life and I am almost 33. That was my wedding day when I was 19. I did not want to wear it that day, but the photographer told me I would look horrible in my pictures because I am so pale, she said I would just be washed out in the pics. So I caved and let my friend put a tiny little amount of makeup on. It was horrible. I felt like a clown and it just felt so yucky on my face, and it wasn't foundation or anything. It is not something I ever want to do again. If my husband ever suggested I wear makeup it would be a BIG problem for me. When most men start wearing it I *might* consider it. Nah I wouldn't even consider it then.
I do not think it is ok for him to ask his girlfriend to wear makeup. And I think if he feels that way than she is not the girl for him.0 -
I'm 59 years old and It's only been within probably the past year that I finally started going out in public without wearing makeup. I guess I just got old and no longer care what people think about my looks. I still wear makeup to church or job interviews, etc. but just to go to the library or grocery store or the grandson's ball game, I don't usually bother. If I was dating someone and he was embarrassed to be seen with me without makeup, he'd have to be out of my life. I don't need to have someone in my life who is embarrassed to be seen with me for whatever reason.0
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If she is comfortable au naturel then he needs to be respectful of her decision. Did it ever occur to him that makeup might irritate this skin condition? Is he actively encouraging her to look after her skin condition? Or is it all about appearances?0
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Unsolicited comments regarding your displeasure someone's bad breath? Acceptable.
Unsolicited comments regarding your displeasure with someone's natural appearance? Not-acceptable.
This. I would want to know that they were unhappy with my look without makeup, but only so I could dump their *kitten*. I do look better in makeup, but I'll be damned if I'm dating someone that can't honestly say to me, fresh from the shower, "you are beautiful"0 -
Sounds to me like he's more interested in making himself 'look good' in front of others he wishes to impress by having a 'beautiful girlfriend' as a status symbol, than in caring about her, or about them having fun together on this cruise.
If the girlfriend was prone to regularly turning up in an inappropriate outfit or scruffily-presented to formal events, or immacculately made-up and turned out for casual occasions, a hint about where they were going, what they might be doing there, and what the dresscode is might be in order, but it doesn't sound like this is the case. Instructions to a partner to wear or do something to make oneself look 'better' to others suggests that the partner would be better off seeking another relationship with someone who cares more about them than others' opinions. (Can't make this last sentence work, but I'm sure you get my meaning!)0 -
When I was younger and briefly pretty, I had a controlling boyfriend who used to tell me I looked much better without makeup to stop me wearing it. He'd also cancel nights out at the last minute if I met him looking dressed up or with "my face on".
In a relationship, appearance habits can only be influenced through positive reinforcement. The odd "you look great today" never goes amiss, whereas, "Are you really wearing sweatpants to the supermarket?" does not go down so well.0 -
I dearly love my boyfriend. But at the same time I am very concerned with how people perceive me. I don't see the two as mutually exclusive.
Especially since I have a highly visible position and public appearance is a very important part of my job. I have no qualms about telling him how to dress or look, and he's done the same for me. And, while I struggled with the decision to overlook his teeth, eventually he won me over with his awesome personality, when my coworkers and mentors mentioned how bad they were (and how it reflected on me professionally) I said something to him.
So this guy's concern about his girlfriend doesn't bother me.0 -
I see what you did thereWomen don't like hearing that stuff from men, so I'd have my wife tell my girlfriend to put on makeup.
Most women are highly sensitive to this stuff so maybe he should try an indirect approach to get what he wants. Ppl might say this guy's a jerk but he can't help his preferences and the displeasure is just gonna fester.0
