Is it possible he's pursuing someone else and doesn't want to lose what he has with you? So she's taking up his text time? Or strange enough, maybe he is having a hard time and is trying to develop feelings for you so he's trying to cut down the contact? I can't really give a logical explanation because why would you want to lose the friendship and keep the sex when both is so much better?

This is a great post from one of my favorite bloggers. He just posted this on Thursday which is good timing.

http://www.therulesrevisited.com/2013/04/men-and-friends-with-benefits.html

Men and "Friends with Benefits"

While explaining her relationship with a guy she is interested in, a reader who recently wrote to me for advice reminded me of the difference between the typical male and female approach to being "friends with benefits":

I guess we're friends with benefits because there's no commitment on both parts. I also made a conscious choice that it was only purely physical with what happened between us (only twice by the way). But I liked his company and the flowing conversations we had. I didn't put any pressure on him either. I had no illusions, in other words. I was, however, hoping that we could learn more about each other slowly and establish a good foundation before going to the next level. But again, I had no illusions.
The simple fact is that men almost never fall in love this way, despite what you saw in the fictional movie (emphasis on fictional), No Strings Attached. The woman quoted above might not have had any illusions about the fact that the relationship was purely sexual, but I suspect she did have some illusions about just how unlikely it was that her love interest would change his perspective on the relationship. If she hadn't, she wouldn't have wasted her time.

It has been my experience - both personal and vicarious - that the vast majority of women view a casual sexual relationship as a potential stepping stone towards a relationship. Men, on the other hand, see it as nothing more than what it sounds like: sex with no emotional ties, no commitment, nothing. If anything, men treat it as a step away from a committed relationship, because if they wanted more from a woman, they wouldn't settle for mere sex; they'd want her exclusivity also. (If this sounds familiar, it is probably because it is almost identical to the difference between the male and female perspectives on moving in together before marriage.)

Any man who is mildly observant of the opposite sex will have a hunch in the back of his mind that this kind of relationship is bound to explode eventually. But he isn't going to turn down all of the commitment-free sex he'll get in the meantime just because of some "feeling." Men don't trust feelings the way women do. Men are hyper-rational, literal creatures. If it is called "no-strings-attached" relationship, that's exactly how he treats it, no matter how much cuddling and hanging out is involved.

Furthermore, a man will often be willing to engage in a relationship like this with a woman who is below his league, in the same way that many people will have lower standards for the quality of the house they lease, as opposed to the one they eventually buy.

Yes, of course, I know, there are occasional exceptions. There are always exceptions. Once in a while, a long-term relationship or even a marriage can grow out of something that started as friends-with-benefits. But the point is that, when it comes to casual sexual relationships, the exceptions are so rare that you'll be far better off avoiding them completely than taking a gamble on even the most apparently promising ones.

So before you jump at the opportunity to "get closer" to the man you want by making things sexual, recognize that his willingness to engage in a casual sexual relationship with you is actually a step away from commitment, not a step towards it.

But to see from a man's perspective....brutal and it breeds even more insecurity.

I think he sums it up well when he says "The vast majority of women view a casual sexual relationship as a potential stepping stone towards a relationship. Men, on the other hand, see it as nothing more than what it sounds like: sex with no emotional ties, no commitment, nothing."

His point is if you like a guy, wooing him with sex isn't the answer. Sex should be a part of a relationship, not a stepping stone to one.

This compares to the same way that a "nice guy" thinks that giving a woman emotional intimacy/listening to her all the time is a way to get her to like him, and then he gets mad when she goes for another man. "But I listened to her and let her cry on my shoulder why didn't she like me?" And women are saying, "but I gave him sex, why doesn't he like me?"

I see that. I am just the exception to that generality. In fact, I straight up told him that is I even caught a whiff of him having feelings for me, I would be gone like the wind.

Maybe I should have been born a man.

Hahahahaha

Am I missing something? Where's the part that you stood up for yourself?

I was wondering the same thing.

Hahaha, too much drama. Time to check out, good for you!

It has been my experience - both personal and vicarious - that the vast majority of women view a casual sexual relationship as a potential stepping stone towards a relationship. Men, on the other hand, see it as nothing more than what it sounds like: sex with no emotional ties, no commitment, nothing. If anything, men treat it as a step away from a committed relationship, because if they wanted more from a woman, they wouldn't settle for mere sex; they'd want her exclusivity also. (If this sounds familiar, it is probably because it is almost identical to the difference between the male and female perspectives on moving in together before marriage.)

As a woman in a FWB situation, I can say that it is my experience that I know he doesn't want more than what we have. I have allowed myself to have stronger feelings for him than he does for me but that is my choice. It doesn't change what I expect from him - which is no commitment and to remain my friend when this "thing" is over. He and I are at the same but very different points in our lives and we communicate very well. If that weren't the case, I would call us fu3k-buddies and not FWB.

Any man who is mildly observant of the opposite sex will have a hunch in the back of his mind that this kind of relationship is bound to explode eventually. But he isn't going to turn down all of the commitment-free sex he'll get in the meantime just because of some "feeling." Men don't trust feelings the way women do. Men are hyper-rational, literal creatures. If it is called "no-strings-attached" relationship, that's exactly how he treats it, no matter how much cuddling and hanging out is involved.

He has the feeling that it may explode eventually, just like he has lots of feelings based on his experience with other women. I just continue to reassure him that I am not "other women." I don't care what other people say about what will happen in this situation, I am being honest with him and myself when I say that I don't want a relationship (even though - or maybe even because - I have strong feelings for him. He wants and deserves things from life that I am not willing or able to give.

Furthermore, a man will often be willing to engage in a relationship like this with a woman who is below his league, in the same way that many people will have lower standards for the quality of the house they lease, as opposed to the one they eventually buy.

ROFL - Okay, sure. but the woman could be doing the same. WTF!

Yes, of course, I know, there are occasional exceptions.

At least he acknowledges that there are exceptions. Too bad he didn't go so far as to say that some of those exceptions are actually from women and men who knew exactly what they wanted and got it.

This compares to the same way that a "nice guy" thinks that giving a woman emotional intimacy/listening to her all the time is a way to get her to like him, and then he gets mad when she goes for another man. "But I listened to her and let her cry on my shoulder why didn't she like me?" And women are saying, "but I gave him sex, why doesn't he like me?"

Isn't this usually an unfortunate truth? This made me sort of hate boys A LOT in high school. "I listened while you talked about boring girl stuff/feelings- now you need to let me touch you even though I know you have a boyfriend" This was like every encounter I had with a male through teendom.

I learned about "but I gave him sex, why doesn't he like me" a lot later, and it SUCKED. I didn't think I wanted a relationship/thought I was for sure going to break this guy's heart, so I communicated no strings and he communicated exclusivity. He won me over after a few months, but by then he said "Well, but you didn't want any connection, so that's what I've focused on this entire time. You're too late." Cry. Now I know : )

Hahaha, too much drama. Time to check out, good for you!

^^^ Yep. FWB are supposed to be easy and carefree.... pick up a phone, get laid, done. None of the bullsh*t. Glad you're out.