I have never had a c-section, but frankly I am not a big fan of visitors at the hospital for a couple of reasons. First, you look terrible. Even if you had the easiest birth in the world, you'll still look terrible unless you are one of those women who makes a point to be perfectly coiffed at all times. Second, most women are trying to establish breastfeeding. It's not easy, and I remember that my son was already cluster-feeding the second day in the hospital. People kept trying to come by, and they would see us for, like, 5 minutes before he would cry to be fed, and then they'd have to leave the room (I am not about to whip out a boob in front of anyone other than a very few select people). So I was fine with people coming to visit, so long as they didn't expect me to be anything but tired and didn't expect to be able to stay for very long.

For my in-laws, since they're a few hours' drive away, it wouldn't be worth the drive. They come later, and last time they came in the late morning to hang out for a bit, then when I had to nurse, they took my husband out to lunch, then came back (with food for me) and stayed for a little bit, then went and did fun things in our area by themselves before going home. I'm not a huge fan of my in-laws, but I admit that they were pretty good about giving me space.

Now if I'd had a c-section, I definitely wouldn't want any visitors for at least 24 hours because I know from friends who've told me how yucky you can feel afterwards. I wouldn't feel bad telling people not to visit right away, either. Your family needs to understand that this is your baby, not theirs, and that they will see him/her in due time. You need your time to start your recovery and to bond as a family. If your in-laws stress you out the way mine do, then that stress is NOT going to help anyone recover.

I think it's fair to acknowledge that they'll be excited and will want to see the baby right away, but you just need to politely remind them that in order to have this baby you will be having major abdominal surgery, and so your recovery and need to bond as best you can with your new baby is paramount. Stress that you're not trying to keep anyone away but would like the opportunity to give your new family a chance to really bond quietly together, especially since you may be a little out of it for a couple of hours after surgery.

Since it's your husband's family that are stressing you out, I might let him be the messenger. It might sound less harsh coming from him, and he can probably deliver it in a way that they'll understand better. I'm not on the greatest terms with my in-laws, but I'm well aware that my own family is no treat, so we have always had an understanding that we'd each handle our own families in situations like this. My in-laws have this lovely way of bypassing him and coming straight to me because they know it makes me uncomfortable, but I have learned to stand my ground on things and then asking him to back me up. There have been a couple of instances where he's had to be a bit harsh with them with regard to cornering me in an effort to get what they want because they know he'll shoot them down, but for the most part it has worked.

Also, when I say my in-laws, it is really my MIL. My FIL is pretty cool, but with him always comes her. My husband's brothers and their families are fine, and we all get along.

My first c-section was last-minute and I was a minimum 5-hr plane flight from any family, so I didn't have any visitors in the hospital except for my best friend 2 days later.

We live closer to family now, and when our twins were born, my mom stopped by the hospital on her way into town (I'd gone into labor before the c-section date so it was last-minute also) but it was about 5 hours after they'd been born and she only stayed about 10 minutes. The only reason she stopped by so soon was because the hospital was on the way between her house and our house, but she was primarily coming to watch our first child (who was with a babysitter) while I stayed in the hospital. After the initial stop, she only visited when she brought our daughter to see us (twice). I didn't mind her being there since she's my mom; she's had 7 kids so she knows not to stay very long or expect me to look remotely put together!

Go ahead and tell family not to visit if your want - that's completely your choice and they shouldn't get mad about it. Recovering from a c-section is rough, and like others have said, you're also trying to bond with your baby and establish breastfeeding (if you go that route). If they want baby time, have them come help out at home when you get released. You won't be very mobile in the beginning, so they can do housework and get to see the baby as well.:flowerforyou:

Thanks for the replies ladies!
My husband and I have decided to tell everyone only to stop by the next day. I am very close with my family and my husband is also a lot closer with my parents than with his, so he said out of his own that I should at least see my mom and dad, even if its just for 5 minutes, they will want to know I'm ok after surgery.

So I am going to politely tell the in laws and all other family that we will give them a call once baby is out and fine, and then they can stop by from the next day. Luckily my hospital only has 3 hours' visiting time during the day, one in the morning, afternoon and evening, so they can't pop in unexpectedly!

I wish you all the best with your babe's on the way!

I'm glad you and your husband are on the same page, that way you can back each other up! Nice, too, that your hospital has set visiting hours. I wish mine did, but you can pretty much come and go as you please, though I'm sure they do cut people off at night (not counting dads, but they of course have a hospital bracelet, too).

I think that's acceptable to have your parents see you, since they've probably seen you in worse shape, and since you and your husband are both much closer to them. They'll probably also understand that they can only see you for so long because you'll need to recover. You're their daughter, so it will put their minds at ease to know their own daughter is doing fine after surgery. My parents don't live nearby, but I'd definitely want my parents called to tell them I was ok well before I'd want my in-laws called. I would just keep that quiet when your in-laws come visit. (My in-laws are constantly comparing how often they see our son to how often my parents do. Yes, my parents come by more often than my in-laws do, but since their time is split between him and six other grandchildren when they do fly down to visit, they see my son in very short spurts, so my in-laws get a lot more time with him overall. I wish they'd let it go, though - we're absolutely not playing favorites!)

I think you've got a good game plan. Short visits w/ people you're comfortable with = good. Long visits from anyone other than the dad = bad.

My parents came from out of town and were there the first day, but it was a 'happy' accident -- I was induced & in labour for 26 hrs b/f an emergency c-section. They decided to start driving when they hadn't heard from me for a while, and happened to arrive just as I was wheeled into the OR. I didn't mind having them there, but the next day they came back and sat in my room for hours. I really should have thrown them out b/c DD started cluster feeding that afternoon and I was up all the following night. I needed to rest during the day but felt I had to be semi-coherent while they were there. I'm hoping for a VBAC, but either way, I'll be more assertive about my own needs this time around.