Interviewing while pregnant
TRHuston
Posts: 69 Member
Hey all. I would like to pick your brains on something. I'm scheduled to have an interview at a local children's hospital in a week and I am 22 weeks pregnant. I know that potential employers cannot ask you if you are pregnant and I'm sure I could conceal my bump with clever wardrobe choices, but I feel wrong about it.
On the one hand, I know that although they can't discriminate against me because I'm pregnant, but they could just not offer me the job and site other reasons. On the other hand, I don't want to start out any business relationship based on an omission of a very pertinent fact that would effect my performance over the next few months, resulting in a lengthy leave not too long after hire.
I think I will just keep personal stuff to myself and disclose my pregnancy if I'm offered the job. That would be perfect for me, but I'm sure there will be curve balls thrown in there. What if they ask when I would be able to start? Do I say right away, then piss them off because I lied. I want to make it through this w/o looking like I'm dishonest, but it seems there's really no good way to do it. AHHH!
This is stressful, but my current job environment is pretty toxic; management is unreasonable, our union rep is flaky, staffing us unsafe and patients just keep getting heavier and sicker. I am concerned with my personal safety working evening shift because of lack of staff. We are being worked far too hard with few and sporadic breaks.I can't deal much longer, but if I have to, I have a safety net there. I have accrued a good amount of PTO, our insurance allows me to see midwives at a facility that I adore and will be giving birth in and I will have partial pay for the duration of my maternity leave.
I would potentially be giving up a lot of good with a lot of bad. I do have quite a bit saved in the bank, which was for any unforeseen baby related medical issues, but there's no way I could cover birth and maternity leave out of pocket. I know most businesses won't offer insurance for the first few months after hire and any FMLA is just job security, not partial pay if you've been employed under 1 year.
This is a lot to consider on top of the normal stress of an interview. Please weigh in on this with me. I have spoken candidly with a few trusted friends and co-workers, but none of them are in the pregnancy boat like us. Your opinions will help me a lot. Thanks.
On the one hand, I know that although they can't discriminate against me because I'm pregnant, but they could just not offer me the job and site other reasons. On the other hand, I don't want to start out any business relationship based on an omission of a very pertinent fact that would effect my performance over the next few months, resulting in a lengthy leave not too long after hire.
I think I will just keep personal stuff to myself and disclose my pregnancy if I'm offered the job. That would be perfect for me, but I'm sure there will be curve balls thrown in there. What if they ask when I would be able to start? Do I say right away, then piss them off because I lied. I want to make it through this w/o looking like I'm dishonest, but it seems there's really no good way to do it. AHHH!
This is stressful, but my current job environment is pretty toxic; management is unreasonable, our union rep is flaky, staffing us unsafe and patients just keep getting heavier and sicker. I am concerned with my personal safety working evening shift because of lack of staff. We are being worked far too hard with few and sporadic breaks.I can't deal much longer, but if I have to, I have a safety net there. I have accrued a good amount of PTO, our insurance allows me to see midwives at a facility that I adore and will be giving birth in and I will have partial pay for the duration of my maternity leave.
I would potentially be giving up a lot of good with a lot of bad. I do have quite a bit saved in the bank, which was for any unforeseen baby related medical issues, but there's no way I could cover birth and maternity leave out of pocket. I know most businesses won't offer insurance for the first few months after hire and any FMLA is just job security, not partial pay if you've been employed under 1 year.
This is a lot to consider on top of the normal stress of an interview. Please weigh in on this with me. I have spoken candidly with a few trusted friends and co-workers, but none of them are in the pregnancy boat like us. Your opinions will help me a lot. Thanks.
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Replies
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Consider this first - you are not guaranteed FMLA protections until you are with an employer for 1 year. Changing jobs now can impact your maternity leave and benefits through your delivery and time after birth. I know they can't ask though, but I don't think that I could keep from telling them. I would feel too guilty I think.0
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good question!! I have been sort of casually looking for a new job, but since I am pregnant I just dont feel like its the best time. I am almost 21 weeks, but I think its pretty obvious, and I would not want to hold that info from a potential employer. While I know that they can't discriminate against due to pregnancy, I still feel like alot of employers would rather not hire someone who is going to be leaving for 3 mos in the near future.
its a double edge sword I think. If you tell them ahead of time they may not hire because after all, they want someone now or they wouldnt be hiring right.
On the other hand, if you dont tell right away but wait til you get the offer, then there may be animosity after you start since you didnt tell right away.
I guess it depends on the employer, and the type of job. I am also in medical field and when i am not in, someone else has to see my patients. Its not like things can wait til I get back. My own personal plan is to look more aggresively while I am on maternity leave...
Also if it is an issue of your own safety, maybe your dr can write a note stating you cant lift x amt and you cant work second shift or something to that effect???
sorry this probably wasnt too helpful...0 -
Consider this first - you are not guaranteed FMLA protections until you are with an employer for 1 year. Changing jobs now can impact your maternity leave and benefits through your delivery and time after birth. I know they can't ask though, but I don't think that I could keep from telling them. I would feel too guilty I think.
THIS!!!0 -
I would disclose it and see what their policies are. While they can't guarantee it, they may have a policy where it's not completely unheard of to take time off either or they would be willing to work with a delayed start date. You never know unless you ask and if you're honest up front, it will just make things easier.
I am switching jobs, but for me, it's just a matter of going from one company to another under the same ownership, so they just chose to switch me after maternity leave because it was easier from an accounting standpoint for them and who would pay for my leave.0 -
Consider this first - you are not guaranteed FMLA protections until you are with an employer for 1 year. Changing jobs now can impact your maternity leave and benefits through your delivery and time after birth. I know they can't ask though, but I don't think that I could keep from telling them. I would feel too guilty I think.
I am so glad someone posted this, I was just about to say this. As a former HR person this was my very first thought - if you change jobs you do not have job security. I know your current work situation isn't a great one but unless you have other options for medical insurance I wouldn't be changing jobs, especially in this economy.
If you really feel you need to, COBRA insurance is a possibility to not forget - even if you quit you have it as an option, but you will pay full cost, and you can use COBRA while starting another position. However, it would take a really really really NICE employer to keep your job for you if you start it and are going to go on leave 6 months later, regardless of the reason.
Now, from my perspective as the interviewer, I have to admit that at 5 months pregnant I interviewed a woman who was 6 months pregnant and despite my own bump was totally oblivious.
My boss who also interviewed admitted later she suspected, but there wasn't much she could do about it anyway and we liked this employee. So, it is possible. The employee disclosed it her first week, because she was at the point with her build that it would have been impossible to hide much longer. I will say that we took a chance and trained her fully, hoping she'd come back - and she didn't, so we lost out bigtime. It was unfortunate. 0 -
Consider this first - you are not guaranteed FMLA protections until you are with an employer for 1 year. Changing jobs now can impact your maternity leave and benefits through your delivery and time after birth. I know they can't ask though, but I don't think that I could keep from telling them. I would feel too guilty I think.
I am so glad someone posted this, I was just about to say this. As a former HR person this was my very first thought - if you change jobs you do not have job security. I know your current work situation isn't a great one but unless you have other options for medical insurance I wouldn't be changing jobs, especially in this economy.
If you really feel you need to, COBRA insurance is a possibility to not forget - even if you quit you have it as an option, but you will pay full cost, and you can use COBRA while starting another position. However, it would take a really really really NICE employer to keep your job for you if you start it and are going to go on leave 6 months later, regardless of the reason.
Now, from my perspective as the interviewer, I have to admit that at 5 months pregnant I interviewed a woman who was 6 months pregnant and despite my own bump was totally oblivious. My boss who also interviewed admitted later she suspected, but there wasn't much she could do about it anyway and we liked this employee. So, it is possible. The employee disclosed it her first week, because she was at the point with her build that it would have been impossible to hide much longer. I will say that we took a chance and trained her fully, hoping she'd come back - and she didn't, so we lost out bigtime. It was unfortunate.
I agree with both of these posts!
COBRA can also be shockingly expensive if your employer was paying part of/all of your premiums at your old job. The monthly premium to maintain insurance from my last job was over $700/month. Granted it was really good insurance, but who can afford that? Although sometimes you have to if you don't have the opportunity to obtain new coverage right away and need it.
The other thing to consider is that you'd be taking a new job (assuming it was offered, etc.) and basically promising them that you'd come back after X number of weeks. You might have a change of heart while on maternity leave.
After my son was born, I fully intended to go back to work after 12 weeks. When I announced my pregnancy to my boss, I assured him over and over that I didn't intend to be a SAHM and suspected that I'd be too restless not to come back to work - and I honestly believed that. However, I hated my job, and it caused me immeasurable stress. About a month before the end of my maternity leave (the firm was too small to have to follow FMLA guidelines, so my leave was unpaid, except for the PTO that I had accrued), my husband and I took a long, hard look at whether it was worth it financially, mentally, and emotionally for me to go back to work there. I had daycare lined up, but I wasn't happy with the facility. As I said, I hated my job, and to make it worse it barely covered the cost of daycare. I had a fairly long commute and would end up killing myself making up for lost time anytime I had to take time off for my son (sick day, daycare closed, doctor's appointment, etc.).
Long story short, about three weeks before my maternity leave ended, I informed my old firm that I would not be returning. I'd have felt pretty bad about it if I'd been a new hire a few months before giving birth. (I ended up supporting my husband's firm from home, and when our son was about 1.5 years old, we found a great preschool for him so that I could join my husband full-time. Not sure how we'll handle this baby, though, but since we are self-employed, we have the advantage of flexibility plus a really good home office.)0 -
Well, I went for it and told them I was expecting. The three separate people I had interviews with were all very pleased that I was forthcoming, even though I didn't need to be. They said it doesn't effect their decision making process as far as hiring.
I let them know for the fact that I would not be able to start until after my maternity leave (end of September) and they need someone now. When asked if there was any reason I would not want to start now, I told them that the insurance they offer, and the insurance accepted by my birth center were not copacetic.
Everyone was happy with my honesty and timing would be the only issue for not getting an offer now. They said that they would be happy to extend an offer down the road if something opens up that would work better with my timeline. I think I made the right choice. Thanks for all your input ladies!0 -
So, this topic has been off discussion for about a month, but I just wanted to let everyone know that I got an offer anyway!!! They said they understand my timeline and that I would be able to start orientation after taking 13 weeks for maternity leave. I feel like I'm dreaming. Dream job being held for me so I can take care of my family. Life is good.
Just wanted to share in case anyone else finds themselves in this situation and are worried to make a change. Sometimes everything just works out. Cheers! :happy:0 -
So, this topic has been off discussion for about a month, but I just wanted to let everyone know that I got an offer anyway!!! They said they understand my timeline and that I would be able to start orientation after taking 13 weeks for maternity leave. I feel like I'm dreaming. Dream job being held for me so I can take care of my family. Life is good.
Just wanted to share in case anyone else finds themselves in this situation and are worried to make a change. Sometimes everything just works out. Cheers! :happy:
Oh my heck! Congrats! Honesty reaps blessings (although many are not as quick and obvious as this one)! So happy for you! Good luck!
(Editted to clarify!)0 -
So, this topic has been off discussion for about a month, but I just wanted to let everyone know that I got an offer anyway!!! They said they understand my timeline and that I would be able to start orientation after taking 13 weeks for maternity leave. I feel like I'm dreaming. Dream job being held for me so I can take care of my family. Life is good.
Just wanted to share in case anyone else finds themselves in this situation and are worried to make a change. Sometimes everything just works out. Cheers! :happy:
Oh my heck! Congrats! Honesty reaps blessings (although many are not as quick and obvious as this one)! So happy for you! Good luck!
(Editted to clarify!)
As usual, I totally agree with mormonmomma! I would have had a hard time hiding such information. Even though they're not allowed to ask, I feel like it's important for them to know to make an educated hiring decision. But I am SO glad that they took it in stride and hired you! CONGRATULATIONS!!!0
