Feeling vulnerable and almost ashamed
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Cayceryder I have sent you a private message.0
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Hi All! I have just joined MFP, WW, and now this group! I've been trying to lose weight for way too many years. I have RA and Fibro and I just know that if I can finally dump even half the weight I need to, I will probably feel better. I suffer in pain every day, but I don't think I have the RA/Fibro has bad as some people, and for that I am so grateful.
Looking forward to participating here and getting to know you all.
~Ready~0 -
I can understand how you feel. My fiance is fine about it - very supportive, so i know I can talk to him about my pain. My friends and colleagues though - I feel guilty and ashamed if I mention the pain, because I feel like they're sick of hearing about it, and aren't going to offer any advice.
There's a group on facebook called "surviving chronic pain". They're a very supportive group, and you can submit anonymous questions if you need some help.0 -
I too suffer from chronic pain and fatigue (FMS/CFS/ME) and all the horrible head trips that go with it. I am lucky that I was approved for disability and no longer have to work, but just living from day to day is enough hard work for me. I have secluded myself from the world because I feel so weak and ashamed. I no longer have friends, other than on FB, but I think it's easier this way, because I don't really have to live up to the expectations of others, except for my own and my family's. It's hard to live in a house full of people who have "normal" pain and "normal" fatigue, because they assume that I feel like they do, and I cannot explain to them that merely taking a shower or holding a book can make me need a three hour nap, or that putting air into my tires will cause such mind numbing pain, that I will lay in bed, moaning and screaming in pain for days. It's hard to think better of yourself when no one else will. And besides my significant other and my kids, I have lost everyone else, my mom, my dad, etc. So I always feel so alone, and scared that I will end up alone and broken and no one will care. My hubby says I need to let go of who I was and embrace who I am, but honestly, who I am is a weak, fragile, emotional basket case. Who wants to embrace that? I am trying to improve my overall health and am hoping that some of the benefits of this will be weight loss, less pain, and more energy. We shall see. I have gone gluten free, grain free, and dairy free. It has helped some. I get excited over the smallest things, like my 6lbs weight loss, considering that I am quite sedentary, this is amazing. Also, I get all proud when I can cook dinner and it doesn't take 3 hours and everything tastes good, because cooking is a huge expense of energy so when I'm just looking out for me, I go with hemp protein drinks and raw spinach covered in something lean and high in protein, like tuna, so my family has no idea how lucky they are to get prepared dinner most nights! I try to keep busy so that I don't have so much time to brood, but I'm pretty good at brooding. I don't expect everyone to "get" me, but it'd be nice if a couple people out there did get me, I'd feel so less lonely and I think it would encourage me to keep at it.
You're hubby is right though. If you are going to be able to face your problems and find ways of coping, you need to first acknowledge who you are, what you are feeling, and that it's ok. Be kind to yourself. I'm glad you feel proud for the things you achieve - build on that, and do some small things that you can cope with.0 -
I'm with you Katie!
One of the biggest breakthroughs for me with my fibro was realizing that depression was playing a HUGE part in my pain! And it took a couple months into therapy for me even to admit that I was depressed. Many times we would just say that I was "exhibiting depressive symptoms" because it was easier to say that than admit that I was dealing with a very difficult mental problem.
BUT, once I was able to see that it's not a sign of weakness to say that you're depressed, but rather an opportunity to show what strength you have to deal with it... life was SO much better. I found ways to work on getting better sleep, I was able to start exercising again, and as the goal of MFP, lose weight and become healthier again, mentally and physically.
I don't think you have to necessarily "embrace" having mental health issues, but at least recognizing that they are there and that you CAN do something about them is very empowering. Best wishes on your journey to health inside and out!
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I too suffer from cronic pain and clinical depression. I have to work to support my family and many days it is all I can do to get out of bed. Some days the depression makes me want to stay in bed, other days it is the pain. It can be so hard to rise about the sadness. It is almost impossible for our loved ones to even begin to understand this. Having pain (even intense pain) for a few days does not even come close to what it is like to live with it day in and day out for years. Also feeling depressed due to life events is not anywhere near the feeling of clinical depression. They just cannot wrap their minds around what we are dealing with.0
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I think everybody with chronic pain feels that way.0
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Hi Becky. I have had Fibro for 10 years now. I wanted to let you know that I have a Fibro support page on Facebook called Fibro Comfort Corner. We are a small group and everyone there understands what you are going through. I understand how you are feeling... I have been there and sometimes still feel the same. I hope you check my page out... it has helped me so much! Take care... Hayley0
