med-free borderline?? ranting away...
charliemarie923
Posts: 275 Member
Hi everyone,
some of you may have been wondering where ive been...well ive been in the psyche hospital for the last 3 weeks and got sectioned. Got the section lifted last night and discharged against medical advice.
My psychiatrist has decided that its best for me to go medication-free as i abuse the meds by overdosing. My question is, how on earth am i meant to function without meds? the psyche himself even said to me thta my behaviour over the last couple of weeks has been 'odd' then today he told me my cpn had left and he wasnt going to replace her as i 'am not ready to work and dont want help' maybe its just that i dotn want HIS help but that doesnt mean i can just be left. My erratic behaviour is what led to meds being introduced 5 years ago ...so he takes me off the meds, takes the cpn away but then wants me to stay in hospital to keep me safe-how long for? when exactly will a borderline without treatment ever be safe enough and far away enough from self harm and suicidal ideation to leave the hosp with everyone knowing theyll be safe? Feel confused, lonely and more alienated than ever before
some of you may have been wondering where ive been...well ive been in the psyche hospital for the last 3 weeks and got sectioned. Got the section lifted last night and discharged against medical advice.
My psychiatrist has decided that its best for me to go medication-free as i abuse the meds by overdosing. My question is, how on earth am i meant to function without meds? the psyche himself even said to me thta my behaviour over the last couple of weeks has been 'odd' then today he told me my cpn had left and he wasnt going to replace her as i 'am not ready to work and dont want help' maybe its just that i dotn want HIS help but that doesnt mean i can just be left. My erratic behaviour is what led to meds being introduced 5 years ago ...so he takes me off the meds, takes the cpn away but then wants me to stay in hospital to keep me safe-how long for? when exactly will a borderline without treatment ever be safe enough and far away enough from self harm and suicidal ideation to leave the hosp with everyone knowing theyll be safe? Feel confused, lonely and more alienated than ever before
0
Replies
-
Glad you are back in your own bed, that it comforting in itself. That doc sounds like an *kitten* and I would have wanted to get out of there too. I wish I had some great advice for you but the only thing I can do is to tell you to find a new doctor that you trust and work together to find a good balance. I know that it is easier said than done, trust me. Being off meds sucks, pure and simple. I have been off mine for a couple of months now (no ins) and it is really started to go downhill for me. I am trying to come out of a very bad depressive episode but its hard, and my husband doesn't understand that. There are days when I still have suicidal thoughts and want to harm myself too. Honestly I think this is a battle we will have for the rest of our lives. I don't believe these thoughts will ever go away completely even with meds. Hang in there and vent here whenever you need to.0
-
Thanks for your reply. And i cant get a new doctor because its NHS and theyre allocated by the area you live in im sorry you cant afford meds that is truly disgraceful that you cant get the meds you need. Yeh i think the thoughts will be with me the rest of my life too. And that scares the **** outta me ....looking into the future feels just as daunting as the past and the present. The thing is i dont even have a bad life, which makes me even more ashamed of what i do to myself and everyone around me...ive no need to do it. Everyone keeps telling me what i have but it just doesnt seem to matter, its never enough, and the hard times always outweigh the good ones, ten to one...
charlie x0
