What are your custody arranagements??
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I don't collect evidence, they should have fun with Dad and be close and all that. But confession: there is a teeny tiny petty part of me that notices that my ex has put on considerable weight. And that horrible corner of my soul is downright gleeful about that.
It's definitely worth it to giggle - get those when you can! And although I'm super good around my kids, those who know me best know that when there's no chance they'll hear I complain with the best of them!0 -
larsensue, Meghan. Z_I_L_L_A, rmkramer003, RunInTheMud, Meghan0116, veggiehottie, totally in the same boat as you guys; being the only parent.
Sole custody, no child support, no visits, no calls. My ex stepped out of our lives since my son was 11 months old, he's 5 years old now. Works out for my son and I though. We get to decide where we're going, who we see, what we do, and our life is great.
At times though, I get mad at my ex for just vanishing from my son's life. I think it's only fair upon children to be able to at least have both parents love and support, even though they may not be together. Easier said than done I know, but not fair on the kids!0 -
We get to decide where we're going, who we see, what we do, and our life is great.
At times though, I get mad at my ex for just vanishing from my son's life. I think it's only fair upon children to be able to at least have both parents love and support, even though they may not be together. Easier said than done I know, but not fair on the kids!
I feel the same way....finally. Ex walked out over 6 years ago and hasn't looked back since. I am happier right now in life than I have ever been. I call the shots. We have fun.
My son's best friend has a 50/50 arrangement for custody. It is on a monthly basis, which sounds so weird to me. But it works for them. The kids seem fine with it, although they don't get along with their stepdad too well
Her parents live just minutes away from each other so they don't have any of the travel concerns and even can split the holidays.
I think anything can work...if you make it work.But that takes two mature adults giving everything for the sake of the kids. And sometimes, that just doesn't happen.0 -
Full custody. They see their father every other weekend, no sorry their fathers sisters or mother because he is too busy taking care of his girlfriend who doesn´t want anything to do with his daughters and wants him all to herself.0
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Joint legal custody, I have physical custody. My ex gets every first and third weekend, every tuesday night, and wednesday night IF the following weekend is not hers. We also each get half the holidays on even years, then get the other half on odd years (who gets which holidays on which years is spelled out in the paperwork). In June and July, she gets two consecutive weeks each month, but no other visitation those months.
We pretty much stick to it, except she now lives two hours away so she doesn't do her mid week visitations.0 -
On paper, I have full custody because my ex seemed too unstable when we were divorcing for me to accept anything but full custody and since I fulled out the divorce and custody paperwork and he pretty much signed it, he didn't put up much of a fight. But he's more stable now. We've worked out that he gets our daughter after work Mondays and Wednesdays from about 5-7:30, then usually Saturday from about 10-6 with occasional sleepovers. She'll be 5 next week. We've both been pretty flexible with changing days as needed for our schedules. He is a much better father now that he only needs to be a father part time.0
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Full custody, full legal, no child support. In our divorce papers it says visitation as agreed upon by parties. He wanted all or nothing and didn't want shared. I wasn't about to give up my rights, so he did (there's more to the story but in a nut shell). He has spotty contact with our son. He has moved to a few states since our divorce, we currently live in different states. He's always had my phone number, address and email in case he wanted to be in contact with our son and knows I have Skype. He calls or webcams infrequently (like 8 months apart or something, and visits less frequently). It is hard on my son (6) to not have consistency. He wishes his dad were closer. I wish his dad would be more involved. That said, I am glad he doesn't go on visitations overnight or summers because of threats his dad has made to me in the past.
And I totally know what it's like to be both mom and dad in as many aspects as are possible. Been doing it solo since May 2009.0 -
Full custody, full legal, no child support. In our divorce papers it says visitation as agreed upon by parties. He wanted all or nothing and didn't want shared. I wasn't about to give up my rights, so he did (there's more to the story but in a nut shell). He has spotty contact with our son. He has moved to a few states since our divorce, we currently live in different states. He's always had my phone number, address and email in case he wanted to be in contact with our son and knows I have Skype. He calls or webcams infrequently (like 8 months apart or something, and visits less frequently). It is hard on my son (6) to not have consistency. He wishes his dad were closer. I wish his dad would be more involved. That said, I am glad he doesn't go on visitations overnight or summers because of threats his dad has made to me in the past.
And I totally know what it's like to be both mom and dad in as many aspects as are possible. Been doing it solo since May 2009.
I know the feel! You're not alone, brave momma!
Wishing the father could offer a hand, because after all- it is his child too! Since October 2008 for us, my son was 11 months old at the time- totally know what you're going through. He hasn't seen his father since then. No phone calls, no child support, no messages.. okay maybe I'm brooding over Mrs. Doubtfire now haha.
Sometimes I feel like I have a split personality. I'm the one disciplining him, and loving him too.
BTW Go Supermoms and Superdads!0 -
fShaw86 - kids are worth all the love we can give me. Some days single parenthood is so hard but most of the time it's just the norm, you just learn to roll that way and make it work. But you're right we're strong and we're making a difference in our little ones lives even if their other parents aren't involved. I learned during my marriage that you can't make people do what is right, or what you want them to. You just have to do all that you can on your end and hope it is enough.0
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My daughter's father only sees her once every few months. I wish she had a father that was more interested. I do know one couple who switch off every other week and their kid is really benefiting from the situation. Every family is different. I hope you both come to an agreement that puts stability of your child first. Good luck!!!0
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We do the every other weekend thing. We are both military so hoidays is usually whoever has the spare leave. He lives two hours away so he mostly just see's him when it's his weekend, unless there is something special going on and he can get the time off from work. He will also watch him, most of the time, if I want to take an extra weekend to attend some event. He is an involved dad and we get along pretty well.
Due to the dual military thing our custody arrangments are pretty flexible from a legal standpoint. We have joint custody and I have physical custody as long as I'm not on a boat (Coast Guard). However, if I'm assigned to a cutter and he is not then we will swap places and he'll have physical custody while I'm stationed on the cutter/boat. However, when I get off then our son legally comes back to me. If that does happen though, it might be really rough on all of us.0 -
I saw this thread was resurrected and thought I'd throw in my 0.02!
Been a single parent since 2002, my daughter was 4 months old & my son was 7. Sole custody no child support to speak of. My son is now 19, in college and my daughter will be 12 this year. Their father hasn't been involved, altho he's tried to reach out to my son via text (text? huh?) and my son deleted it. He told me that he deserves a PHONE CALL. It's a darn shame that some people have no tact. I mean ya haven't talked to your kid in over 10 years and you send a text....what in tarnation?! LOL
I am envious of those parents who have a functional coparenting relationship with their ex. Its tough with no days off, constantly being mom & dad....in saying that tho, I'm fortunate to have had sole custody/no visitation. My ex got involved with meth and it destroyed him from the inside out. I would not have wanted my kids to be exposed to lord-only-knows-what.0
