An introduction

Hi everyone and thanks for joining!

Well , a little about me...
TRITCHTILOMANIA developed age 7
BULIMIA developed age 12 (flitting between mia and EDNOS)
SELF INJURY developed age 12
FIRST SUICIDE ATTEMPT age 14
BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER AND DEPRESSION diagnosed age 17


I am now 22 years old and undergoing clinical psychology sessions an hour a week . I have been on lots of different medications of all different amounts, but decided to stop taking them roughly 18 days ago.

I am very interested in hearing people stories and offering two-way support and advice to everyone. OR just come here for a rant after a bad day.

I will answer any questions you have on either generally losing weight or on your own / others mental health. If i dont know the answer right away, i will go away and research it.

HAPPY POSTING!!

Replies

  • sarcosis1
    sarcosis1 Posts: 42
    I have a bipolar mood disorder, self injury problems, suicidal thoughts, agoraphobia and a lot of anxiety problems. I was once told I had borderline until it became more apparent that it was a mood disorder. I have suffered since my early teens and often have to see a psychiatrist and mental health nurse. From November last year to late Jan, I was in a psychiatric hospital due to a bad depressive episode where I tried to commit suicide.
  • charliemarie923
    charliemarie923 Posts: 275 Member
    I have a bipolar mood disorder, self injury problems, suicidal thoughts, agoraphobia and a lot of anxiety problems. I was once told I had borderline until it became more apparent that it was a mood disorder. I have suffered since my early teens and often have to see a psychiatrist and mental health nurse. From November last year to late Jan, I was in a psychiatric hospital due to a bad depressive episode where I tried to commit suicide.

    I have to see a psychiatrist and a CPN too. WOW i was in a psychiatric hospital from the 5th november 2012 to (oddly enough) the 5th january 2013. I took a major OD, but it wasnt to kill myself. Its all very compicated, as im sure you can imagine. Which type of bipolar do you have?
  • Rose_bee
    Rose_bee Posts: 226 Member
    Major anxiety problems with chronic depression + Seasonal Affective Disorder. Depression wonderfully managed by Cymbalta (90mg/day) and Trazodone (100mg/day). Seasonal Affective Disorder managed with a light box and an additional 100mg of Trazodone.

    Anxiety, Depression, and Bipolar (type I and II) both run in my family (in both my mother's side AND my father's side). I was raised by a mostly-single undiagnosed bipolar II mother.

    Anxiety has been a lifelong issue.
    SAD developed around age 21/22
    Depression appeared around age 32/33.

    I see my psychiatrist every 4 months. Therapist (for anxiety & self-esteem/confidence issues) I see every other week.
  • charliemarie923
    charliemarie923 Posts: 275 Member
    Major anxiety problems with chronic depression + Seasonal Affective Disorder. Depression wonderfully managed by Cymbalta (90mg/day) and Trazodone (100mg/day). Seasonal Affective Disorder managed with a light box and an additional 100mg of Trazodone.

    Anxiety, Depression, and Bipolar (type I and II) both run in my family (in both my mother's side AND my father's side). I was raised by a mostly-single undiagnosed bipolar II mother.

    Anxiety has been a lifelong issue.
    SAD developed around age 21/22
    Depression appeared around age 32/33.

    I see my psychiatrist every 4 months. Therapist (for anxiety & self-esteem/confidence issues) I see every other week.

    Im glad your SAD is being managed. It mustve been tough growing up with an undiagnosed bipolar. Youre post has inspired me for a more scientific post :) Does your mother receive help now? My psychologist says i have anxiety issues...but she blames that on everything! I was having weird sensations in my body last week, which is a result of withdrawal from the meds i was on and she said it was because i was anxious and it was the middle of the night, i was in bed actually sleeping, unlike now lol If i have anxiety at times like that then why arent they prescribing anti-anxiety meds? My father had depression, which occured when he was a teen then didnt seem to reappear until a few years ago. But i have been estranged from him for approx 4 years now, so im not sure if hes actually been receiving treatment.
    Thanks for sharing your story
  • sarcosis1
    sarcosis1 Posts: 42
    I'm just under a broad heading at the moment, my psychiatrist just said a bipolar mood disorder. I was first given this diagnosis when I was just 15, but it wasn't solid, obviously due to my age. Then I soon as I turned 18, I was told by a different doctor I had BPD. This was incorrect though, and my current doctor says it's bipolar. I'm on medication, Quetiapine 300mg which is still being adjusted. The med works really well to help stabilise my moods.
    Another thing I forgot to mention, is I suffer from OCD too as well with my agoraphobia and anxiety problems. I've suffered with agoraphobia from the age of 14. I didn't leave the house at all until I was 16.
  • SarahDavs
    SarahDavs Posts: 161 Member
    Hi everyone. I have bipolar, diagnosed age 11. I take lithium, resperidone and xanax. I also have agora and social phobia and a panic/anxiety disorder that I was diagnosed with 4 years ago. I am seeing a medical doctor once a month about my meds, a therapist and a hypnotist. Right now the hypnotist is helping me with weight loss, but I want her to work with me about the panic and anxiety too.
  • charliemarie923
    charliemarie923 Posts: 275 Member
    Hi everyone. I have bipolar, diagnosed age 11. I take lithium, resperidone and xanax. I also have agora and social phobia and a panic/anxiety disorder that I was diagnosed with 4 years ago. I am seeing a medical doctor once a month about my meds, a therapist and a hypnotist. Right now the hypnotist is helping me with weight loss, but I want her to work with me about the panic and anxiety too.


    I have always wanted to see a hypnotist for my tritch but i cant afford it . Do you think it actually works? I know alot of people are very pessimistic about it.
  • petstorekitty
    petstorekitty Posts: 592 Member
    Oooh I get to talk about my Crazy somewhere!
    I don't do it much because I don't like to let it define me. But since I'm mostly stable now I like to let people know there is hope!

    I developed major depressive disorder when I was about 9. Back then and where I lived a depressed person just meant a weak person and I never got any help.
    Had lots of issues in school and life in general. Major depressive episodes and freak outs. I tried to get help but no one really listens to an angry babbling teenager. I survived OK.

    I moved to CA when I was 22, in the midst of a manic episode (who knew?!). I developed a terrible drinking problem that people started to notice soI sought help for my issues when I was 25. I was diagnosed as BP I and have been through lots of different treatments and therapy.

    Like I said I'm stable now. I have a wonderful support system and know myself pretty well. It's still hard sometimes but I'm happy.

    There's always more but that's a small nutshell.

    x
    Rachael
  • charliemarie923
    charliemarie923 Posts: 275 Member
    Oooh I get to talk about my Crazy somewhere!
    I don't do it much because I don't like to let it define me. But since I'm mostly stable now I like to let people know there is hope!

    I developed major depressive disorder when I was about 9. Back then and where I lived a depressed person just meant a weak person and I never got any help.
    Had lots of issues in school and life in general. Major depressive episodes and freak outs. I tried to get help but no one really listens to an angry babbling teenager. I survived OK.

    I moved to CA when I was 22, in the midst of a manic episode (who knew?!). I developed a terrible drinking problem that people started to notice soI sought help for my issues when I was 25. I was diagnosed as BP I and have been through lots of different treatments and therapy.

    Like I said I'm stable now. I have a wonderful support system and know myself pretty well. It's still hard sometimes but I'm happy.

    There's always more but that's a small nutshell.

    x
    Rachael

    Its really good that youre stable now and have a good support system. Its nice to know that you are happy. Sometimes i fail to see the light at the end of the tunnel, its good to know someone can get through x
  • Crossett0803
    Crossett0803 Posts: 7 Member
    I was diagnosed with bipolar I at the age of 33, although, I know I have suffered with the disease for most of my life. I was raised in a small community and in a family where having a mental illness was "taboo." My first full-blown manic attack forever changed my life. With my last medicine change the doctor warned me that my appetite would increase and was he ever right! Does anyone ever feel that when you have a mental illness you have to work twice as hard at something just to be or feel "normal?" I feel that way about so many aspects of my life and now it's weight loss. In order to stay mentally healthy, I have to take a medicine that makes it difficult to stay physically healthy. Also, when I am depressed I don't want to exercise and I want my comfort food. When I'm manic, I can't concentrate on one thing long enough to even think about going to the gym. And even with my mood under control, I still have the battle of taking a medicine that just makes me want to eat more, so I pack on the pounds. I just went back to the gym this week and I know it helps to, not only keep me physically healthy, but mentally healthy as well. Staying fit and keeping active fights the depression.

    I am also a recovering alcoholic. Because I have been sober for 5 years, it doesn't affect my weight. It does, however, feel like just one more battle.

    As with my sobriety, I look at my mental illness and my weight loss as "one day at a time."
  • charliemarie923
    charliemarie923 Posts: 275 Member
    I was diagnosed with bipolar I at the age of 33, although, I know I have suffered with the disease for most of my life. I was raised in a small community and in a family where having a mental illness was "taboo." My first full-blown manic attack forever changed my life. With my last medicine change the doctor warned me that my appetite would increase and was he ever right! Does anyone ever feel that when you have a mental illness you have to work twice as hard at something just to be or feel "normal?" I feel that way about so many aspects of my life and now it's weight loss. In order to stay mentally healthy, I have to take a medicine that makes it difficult to stay physically healthy. Also, when I am depressed I don't want to exercise and I want my comfort food. When I'm manic, I can't concentrate on one thing long enough to even think about going to the gym. And even with my mood under control, I still have the battle of taking a medicine that just makes me want to eat more, so I pack on the pounds. I just went back to the gym this week and I know it helps to, not only keep me physically healthy, but mentally healthy as well. Staying fit and keeping active fights the depression.

    I am also a recovering alcoholic. Because I have been sober for 5 years, it doesn't affect my weight. It does, however, feel like just one more battle.

    As with my sobriety, I look at my mental illness and my weight loss as "one day at a time."


    I know i feel like i have to fight everyday for a normal life, especially with regards to weight. I stopped all my meds 18 days ago. Well done on your 5 years sobriety. Sometimes, because of the bulimia, i wish i could just give up food, its an addiction too, just fluctuates between being addicted to eating it and addicted to keeping away from it . Thats why i am only focusing on changing my diet and not exercising as well, i know i should exercise, but i will get obsessed and dont see the point in eating back calories burnt-otherwise whats the point in burning them? But thats a debate for another day lol Im glad that exercising is helping you feel better and i hope it continues to work for you :)
  • petstorekitty
    petstorekitty Posts: 592 Member
    Does anyone ever feel that when you have a mental illness you have to work twice as hard at something just to be or feel "normal?" As with my sobriety, I look at my mental illness and my weight loss as "one day at a time."

    I'm defo "one day at a time" I don't do well looking too far ahead.
    I found exercising helpful in battleing depression as well. In therapy we discovered that my weight is a trigger so keeping it under control is important.

    A guy I dated a while back said something to me that has stuck. "I can't imagine how hard it must be to BE you."
    It's hard to deal with a BP partner. I couldn't do it. I appreciated that someone recognized my side of it for once.
  • SarahDavs
    SarahDavs Posts: 161 Member
    Hi everyone. I have bipolar, diagnosed age 11. I take lithium, resperidone and xanax. I also have agora and social phobia and a panic/anxiety disorder that I was diagnosed with 4 years ago. I am seeing a medical doctor once a month about my meds, a therapist and a hypnotist. Right now the hypnotist is helping me with weight loss, but I want her to work with me about the panic and anxiety too.


    I have always wanted to see a hypnotist for my tritch but i cant afford it . Do you think it actually works? I know alot of people are very pessimistic about it.

    ^So far it's been working great for weight loss. She's focusing on helping me stay positive and motivated. Normally I will start a diet but within a few weeks become depressed that I'm not seeing results as quickly as I want and I'll quite. But I've been doing this diet for a month and a half and still feel just as motivated and positive about it as I did when I started. I'm not craving sweets, I'm not complaining about the food that I can't eat. I think it has everything to do with the hypnotherapy.

    I'm lucky because she's doing a "sliding scale fee" with me, which means she's basing what I pay her on my income. So I'm paying $50 a month when it usually takes $250 a month. It works for me. But it is very involved too. It's not just me seeing her once a week (now twice a month.) I listen to her on cd every night while I'm going to sleep (I have several to choose from). And I've learned a lot about how important self talk is to my success. I write a full page of positive things about myself, even if I don't believe them before I go to bed. And I have to word them in a positive way.

    She says self talk is like your own personal hypnotist. And that your subconscious only picks up on the positive words in your self talk. Like if I tell myself "I don't want to be fat" my subconscious will not absorb the negative word "don't" and what it's hears from that sentence is "I want to be fat." So I'm learning to word things differently when I talk to myself. Now I say things like "I crave healthy foods" "My body knows how to lose weight" "I make healthy choices" "I only need a small portion to feel full" etc. I didn't know any of this stuff before, but it's making a huge difference. :-)
  • anninva
    anninva Posts: 9 Member
    Just a quickie! Living mostly in a state of recovery (supported by meds) from depression, PTSD, anxiety, BPD. None of it helped my self esteem or weight! Had WLS 2 years ago and it has helped both physical and mental health! The meds that make you want to eat are thevWORST! I think Risperidone was worst for me.

    I work for a great organization called NAMI, the National zAlliance on Mental Illness. There is a whole section on our website that deals with health and living with mental illness. My friend Sarah did most of it and it's pretty interesting. It's www.nami.orgnand the section is Hearts and Minds. Everyone n my dept has an illness so we just kind of let it all hang out! LOL!

    Been jin hosp 4 times. Sucked, but kept me safe. Oh, and I'm 53! Ann
  • charliemarie923
    charliemarie923 Posts: 275 Member
    Just a quickie! Living mostly in a state of recovery (supported by meds) from depression, PTSD, anxiety, BPD. None of it helped my self esteem or weight! Had WLS 2 years ago and it has helped both physical and mental health! The meds that make you want to eat are thevWORST! I think Risperidone was worst for me.

    I work for a great organization called NAMI, the National zAlliance on Mental Illness. There is a whole section on our website that deals with health and living with mental illness. My friend Sarah did most of it and it's pretty interesting. It's www.nami.orgnand the section is Hearts and Minds. Everyone n my dept has an illness so we just kind of let it all hang out! LOL!

    Been jin hosp 4 times. Sucked, but kept me safe. Oh, and I'm 53! Ann

    Love the bit 'we just let it all hang out ' LOL :P Yeh ive been on risperidone, it sucked and ive lost count of how many times ive been hospitalised...section 2, section 3, 126 and lord knows what else. Glad youre recovering, its a slow road. Its good that you work at Nami , for you and others. I wanted to do volunteer work at MIND but they dont have one near me. Welcome to the group :) and keep at it!
  • JohnBG123
    JohnBG123 Posts: 20
    Hi every one. I'm bipolar. On Limactil, Cymbalta, and Buspar. I was diagnosed a few years ago and it was a great relief to finally know what was happening to me. They called me an alcoholic and drug addict. So I went to AA and NA gathere up clean time several years during the 80's and 90's. Used the alcohol and drugs to control my moods. Since diagnosed I have been in the hosp. a few times, seen several psy docs and therapists. Now my new psy docs has me on these meds and its seems to be working the highs are not as high and the lows are not as low. Most days are good now. They have all told me to loose weight. I have tried several diets and exercises, but just didn't stick to it. So here I go again thou something seems different this time.

    Thanks for having this group. I know we can do it one meal and one step at a time.
  • Tme2change
    Tme2change Posts: 185 Member
    I'm Melissa.
    I was diagnosed with Bipolar II back in 2008 but realized I had a problem way before then when I felt like I was going a million miles a minute and no one would listen. I also have ADD, and OCD along with anxiety. I suffer from chronic migraines that have left a visual lesion on my brain.
    I'm on Concerta, Bupropion, Lamictal, topamax, numerous vitamins and I take botox treatments for my migraines as well.
    I'm glad I found this group.
    I really need the support from others like me, I have recently been having trouble with motivation and mental stability that I feel I can't tell the doctors even though I try its though they don't understand.
    Please add me if anyone would like support, I know I would.
  • yrollam1013
    yrollam1013 Posts: 41 Member
    Hi everyone,

    I'm 29 and have been diagnosed with Bipolar I (at 23yrs), GAD (at 22yrs), PTSD (at 23 yrs), dermatillomania (undiagnosed), various Eating Disorders (since I was 12 diagnosed 22), with OCD tendencies. Things are pretty much un-managed now because I tried to work full time and it nearly killed me. I feel like all I am is a collection of symptoms.
    I take Lithium (1800), Wellbutrin XL (150), Saphris (20), and Seroquel XR (300). I still see all of my treatment team (Psychiatrist, Therapist, Dietician). I became obese while taking Zypreza and now I wish I never sacrificed my body for sanity without pursuing other treatment options.
  • charliemarie923
    charliemarie923 Posts: 275 Member
    welcome time2change and yrollam1013.
    time2change, I can get why you think the doctors wouldnt understand and i am having motivational and stability issues at the moment too...its hard . Do you feel as though the doctors just dont think in the same way that you do?

    yrollam1013, im glad you still have lots of professional support. That will give you a leg-up so to speak. Im sorry the medication made you obese, they made me severly overweight. The bulimia was majorly triggered and didnt help with my eating habits. I have never been offered a dietitian and my current psyche is denying my eating disorder but i am looking into alternative care providers in the private sector, as psyches are allocated by the area you lie in here, so unless i move out of borough i cant swap doctors. :( I knwo what you mean about feeling like a collection of symptoms...sometimes you just feel like the illness is all anyone sees or knows. That you, the true you, is invisible, or has disappeared over time.

    I hope this group will be some use to you both.
    Charlie x
  • yrollam1013
    yrollam1013 Posts: 41 Member
    Charlie,
    I am sorry your psyche is denying your eating disorder, I can relate some what as As I've been fighting with my current bout of eating disorder (EDNOS) my dietician told me I'm doing a wonderful job of being healthy and doing things in moderation when I told her I was on a starvation diet, and was having anxiety/obsessions over numbers. I was floored and almost gave up, it felt soul crushing. Luckily I tired again, this time with my psychiatrist, who guessed what I was doing because of my weight loss. I hope you are able to convince your psyche and that you are able to find alternative provides. I was able to see a dietician at one point before I was diagnosed, covered by my insurance, I just had to get a referral from from my GP. I am sorry that you can relate to feeling like the illness defines you as well. It is horrible. I hope that we both be are able to beat our disorders.