Struggling...advice please :)

FitMama2013 · May 2013

Mamas - I'm looking for some advice from y'all

. My son is 4.5 months old and I've not lost any weight since he was 2 weeks old. I lost 40lbs before I had him, but i still started pregnancy at 200lbs.

I was a college athlete and now weigh 84lbs more than I did in 2007 when I graduated. I've been denied life insurance due to weight and struggle to get on the floor with my son. My clothes are tight and I find myself wearing sweaters to cover up, even though its 90 degrees outside. I take the back stairs at work so nobody hears me huff and puff after taking 3 flights.

You would think all of this would motivate me to eat healthier and get fit again, if not for me, for my son. I just can't seem to do it thus far - I eat pretty good meals, but I eat crap between, and too much of it. Every day I wake up and say ill do better, and then I don't.

For the mamas who have found a balance with their new roles (mommy) and are taking great care of yourself and your family, do you have any advice? Encouragement?

Side note: I LOVE to exercise, but am having a hard time fitting it in. I'm already up at 5 and am unwilling to spend time exercising while my son is awake because I only see him from 6-8:30 at night. At 8:30, I wash bottles/pump parts, pack daycare bags, and pack my lunch for the next day. I try to be in bed by 9:30 because we are still up every 2 hours nursing. I can exercise on the weekend, and I do, but I'm not sure about how I could fit it in during the week.

I know there are others here who can relate and hopefully some who have been successful and can share

. Thank you!

Jenny_Rose77 · May 2013

Hey sweetie,

So I'm responding more on the "I relate" than the "here's advice" side.

I haven't really lost any weight either (since the initial drop in water weight). I've got 20 to lose, but have not been highly motivated to lose the pounds because (as you may have seen me post elsewhere), my milk supply seems to tank when I restrict calories. I know you plan to breastfeed for one year. I'm not sure if you're having similar issues, but maybe you should give yourself some wiggle-room. I know others would say I'm wrong here, but maybe you should just go easy on yourself. Accept that you may not lose a bunch (or any) weight while your breastfeeding, and be happy just enjoying your son. You can re-evaluate when you stop nursing. Taking the pressure off a little may even help you with your eating. I think you mentioned you stress-eat? I do too, and I've found I stress-eat less now that I am like, "I accept things as they are for now." Actually, it may just be a coincidence, but I DID lose a little over a pound last week. Very small number I know. But still...

As for exercise, could you go for walks with your son, so you could exercise and bond with him? Do you have a pool near you that has baby hours? Today I went to a pool with Gideon. We were bouncing around and I kept lifting him over my head going "Weeee!" He loved it. And later, when my arms felt sore, I realized it was actually a workout.

lovelyrose11 · May 2013

First, I just want to say I am glad you are here and looking for encouragement! That's a start. Congrats on losing the 40 lbs! Second, while it sounds nice to say that you want to get healthy for your son (or any other person in your life) you will only lose weight when you want it for YOURSELF. I am saying this from experience. I let myself go until I just hit rock bottom and was so miserable. I basically told myself that dieting and working out can be miserable but staying this way is no longer an option. I totally understand wanting to spend time with the baby at night. But, what about going on walks with the baby in the evenings? If you can't find time to workout then nutrition is going to be key. You'll just have to find a way to eat clean and stay within your calorie limits. I know it's hard but you can do this if you really want it. Trust me, I had two pregnancies back to back (my boys are 18 months apart). My youngest is 5 months old and it has been a huge struggle. But you can get there! It just takes a lot of hard work, commitment, and patience.

chickybuns · May 2013

I understand as well, although fortunately my schedule is a little more flexible. Some ideas...have you tried giving him a bottle of pumped milk at night...maybe he would sleep longer? I think that's part of the reason Miles is such a good sleeper. Also, have you thought about getting a fitbit? It would help you be more active without "working out". My other suggestion is very short workouts like 10, 15, 20 minutes. I know for me I just finally got in the habit of exercising about a month ago. I just had to make myself do it at night after he was in bed, which was usually around 10, and after about a week it wasn't so bad. Like the others said, try to get in walking with him. But I understand, I want to see Miles as much as possible, that's why I do my workouts usually when he's in bed. Hang in there, he will grow up so fast, don't miss anything, there is always time to lose weight!

ks4e · May 2013

I'm a working mom to a 6 year old and an almost 6 month old. Like you, I'm unhappy with my current weight. I commute half an hour to 45 minutes daily and when I am home, my husband leaves for work an hour and a half later. Is your SO around to help you watch the baby and maybe do some of the cooking/cleaning so you can get half an hour of exercise? Or maybe some relatives?

I know it's hard, and sometimes you have to choose between sleeping and eating, but it can be done. Right now I'm doing the 30 Day Shred, which is only 27 minutes. I'll let baby sit in the swing, Big Brother is nearby drawing, and I'll have a go at the video. Yes, there are numerous interruptions and sometimes I have to face the baby and make silly faces, but I get in a work out at least.

I try my best to eat healthy but I have super busy days where junk is the easiest option for me. To make it easier, I avoid buying junk or prep healthy options on the weekends. An easy meal for me to prep is a frozen fish filet or chicken breast, with a drizzle of olive oil and a side of veggies. I wrap this in foil with some minced garlic on top, and then bake it while I do other things at home. It takes about 20 mins in my Flavorwave oven and allows me to multitask and eat healthy. I stress eat and struggle with it too. Tracking on MFP really hleps though, if you haven't done it already.

Walks are definitely the easiest thing to do with a baby, as other moms have chimed in with. And just getting out and away from the routine of home sometimes really helps!

I understand the mom guilt about being away from Baby, but honestly, you and your baby will both be so much happier when YOU'RE happier. And let's not forget that you're making your physical health a priority, which also will benefit the baby.

Good luck!

etmeum · May 2013

Hi Fitmama2013, I can definitely relate to how you feel. I just gave birth 5 weeks ago and was having trouble losing weight right from the beginning. Having to BF means little time for myself and feeling hungry all the time. None of my old clothes fit, which makes me even more anxious.

But, I started losing weight since joining MFP. For me, getting support from all the people here really helps. I tried to do short exercises, 10 minutes at a time, whenever possible. Maybe you can do some simple exercises during the day when you're on the break. Still note down your exercises, regardless of how short it is. This makes me feel accomplished and motivated to do as much as possible. A little goes a long way.

Find your weakest moment. We are animals of routine. Often time, we start eating less healthy or feel depressed at a recurring time of the day or the week. Look closely at your daily and weekly routine. When are you most likely to feel down or feel hungry? Be care of those moments. Take extra care of yourself around that time. Maybe you can reward yourself at that time with a small scoop of ice cream. Prevention is the key. Eat something before you feel completed deprived.

Finally, seek advise and support whenever needed. Whenever I feel stressed and want to eat (I'm an emotional eater), I would go on MFP first and read everyone's comment. It really helps me.

Hope all this helps. We are here to support each other!

stellcorb · May 2013

I completely understand your diliemma!
As far as advice, let's start with the work-out piece... the fact that you already like to work-out puts you in a better spot... but I'm in the same boat with only getting to see my kids for an hour or 2 before bed and spending the rest of your night prepping for the next day (one reason I'm REALLY ready to be done pumping at work!). I think the best way to get moving to start is getting a baby carrier (baby bjorn works well for me) and going for a walk when it's nice... I like the carrier better b/c it's more close time with the babies, only drawback is that it can get hot and sweaty. Also, having a work-out DVD on hand for those moments when you have 10-30 minutes here and there help. I like the ones that have time options or a series of short work-outs that you can combine when you have more time (10 minute solutions has a series of work-out DVDs that are pretty good)
As far as eating... again, you have a good start with the fact that you pack your lunch everyday... and I'm assuming you work full-time... at a desk maybe? I think it's important to bring along enough healthy and desirable snacks day to day so you're not tempted to get something to munch on while you're sitting at your desk. Also, bringing stuff that can be split up throughout the day helps as well... An example for me is:
8:30ish - cup of berries, greek yogurt or hard boiled egg
10ish - Fiber bar, coffee w/ skim
12sih- entree of some sort (usually lean pocket, soup, sandwich/ wrap or frozen lean cuisine)- I try to keep it around 300cals
2ish- raw veggies or small salad
4ish- cottage cheese or string cheese w/ fruit or some pretzels

This usually gets me through the day and leaves a decent amount of calories left over for dinner and a snack at home.
Remember that it will get easier in some ways as your son gets older (and harder in some ways as well)... but your health is important to your emotional wellbeing as well as your physical.
Good luck!

J3nnyV · May 2013

Hello Mama!

You're doing so amazing! Really, you are. You just went through an incredibly physical year being pregnant and giving birth. You're working, pumping, and dealing with all the changes and curveballs a 4.5 month old is going through (teething, growth spurts, rolling over, and soon starting solids). Your sleep is interrupted every night! See, you really are amazing!

There is so much good advice here already, but I'm going to go a slightly different route.

I think you should find a coupon code on-line and spend $100 on clothes that fit your body right now. Clothes that aren't tight and allow you the freedom to move around with your baby without feeling unnecessarily uncomfortable or embarrassed. I did this and got a bunch of sale stuff from Old Navy. It meant I knew I had something to wear that covered the arts of my body that I was self conscious about. A plus was that I wasn't embarrassed to be in photos - so great bc this time of your baby's life is going to speed by and they are going to most enjoy looking back on the photos with you in them.

Secondly, I don't think you should feel like you have to hide yourself at work. You've just done a miraculous thing. Hold your head up high, take the front stairs, and truly feel good about everything you are doing each day.

Third, you were a college athlete! Awesome! That surely means you have a good amount of lean muscle mass in proportion to fat! Woohoo! Let that muscle work for you! I would encourage you to set a very modest goal of .5 lbs loss per week. By eating at a small deficit, you should not feel deprived, and even without exercising, should have a fairly high number of calories to eat each day. Don't forget to add in your 500 calories or so for breastfeeding. I eat 2200 cals a day to lose (before exercise calories) I'm assuming you've set your activity level higher than sedentary .... Any working mom is not going to be sedentary!!

Take those calories and use them to eat good quality food. Aim for 100+ grams of protein a day. Some great ideas have already been mentioned above: hard boiled eggs, cottage cheese, cheese strings, pre-measured nuts, Greek yogurt, protein shakes/bars. Avoid the fat free, sugar free non-foods and let your calories count. There should be room everyday for treats.

You can do this. You are worth it! Give yourself a hug and a high-five for all that you do every day.

Jenny_Rose77 · May 2013

Hello Mama!

You're doing so amazing! Really, you are. You just went through an incredibly physical year being pregnant and giving birth. You're working, pumping, and dealing with all the changes and curveballs a 4.5 month old is going through (teething, growth spurts, rolling over, and soon starting solids). Your sleep is interrupted every night! See, you really are amazing!

There is so much good advice here already, but I'm going to go a slightly different route.

I think you should find a coupon code on-line and spend $100 on clothes that fit your body right now. Clothes that aren't tight and allow you the freedom to move around with your baby without feeling unnecessarily uncomfortable or embarrassed. I did this and got a bunch of sale stuff from Old Navy. It meant I knew I had something to wear that covered the arts of my body that I was self conscious about. A plus was that I wasn't embarrassed to be in photos - so great bc this time of your baby's life is going to speed by and they are going to most enjoy looking back on the photos with you in them.

Secondly, I don't think you should feel like you have to hide yourself at work. You've just done a miraculous thing. Hold your head up high, take the front stairs, and truly feel good about everything you are doing each day.

Third, you were a college athlete! Awesome! That surely means you have a good amount of lean muscle mass in proportion to fat! Woohoo! Let that muscle work for you! I would encourage you to set a very modest goal of .5 lbs loss per week. By eating at a small deficit, you should not feel deprived, and even without exercising, should have a fairly high number of calories to eat each day. Don't forget to add in your 500 calories or so for breastfeeding. I eat 2200 cals a day to lose (before exercise calories) I'm assuming you've set your activity level higher than sedentary .... Any working mom is not going to be sedentary!!

Take those calories and use them to eat good quality food. Aim for 100+ grams of protein a day. Some great ideas have already been mentioned above: hard boiled eggs, cottage cheese, cheese strings, pre-measured nuts, Greek yogurt, protein shakes/bars. Avoid the fat free, sugar free non-foods and let your calories count. There should be room everyday for treats.

You can do this. You are worth it! Give yourself a hug and a high-five for all that you do every day.

Yay! Awesome advice. I second the recommendation to buy clothes that fit. I have to admit that while it bothered me to buy clothes that weren't the size I was "supposed to be (dammit!)", it is nice to open my closet and have cute clothes that fit. Right now Target has a lot of cute and inexpensive pieces that are stretchy (so they would still look good if you lost up to I would say 20 pounds in them, and they work for nursing). My husband really enthusiastically complimented me on the one I put on this morning. I feel pretty and put together in it, and feeling that way also helps me avoid stress-eating!

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Struggling...advice please :)

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