Time heals all wounds but it can reopen them too
Grimmerick
Posts: 3,342 Member
I was listening to the radio this morning and this woman had quite a dilemma. A little while ago a friend of hers confessed that 20 years ago he shot and killed another kid who had bullied him as a youth. He was never caught because the shooting was so random as he had been bullied by the kid a few years before and had carried the anger with him to the point where he saw him walking home one day had a gun on him and shot him and drove off. Flash forward 20 or so years and he admits this to his friend. She doesn't tell anyone for the fact that she is pretty sure he is telling the truth but has no evidence and she is also a little scared at this point that if she went to the police they would question him and he would find out and hurt her and they wouldn't be able to do anything about it anyway. After about a year this man commits suicide. Now with not worrying about him hurting her the burden is still there and she wants to go to the police so they can look into it and the victims family might get some closure but she isn't sure if it's a good idea because she doesn't want to reopen old wounds of the victims family or the guys family since he just committed suicide and it's a pretty cold case that she isn't even sure if they could prove or do anything about anyway. What would you do?
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I would report it. I probably would have reported it when he first confessed it, too (but you never really know what you'd do in a situation). Reporting it may give some closure/explanations to both families.0
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I would report it. I probably would have reported it when he first confessed it, too (but you never really know what you'd do in a situation). Reporting it may give some closure/explanations to both families.
I agree - I would have reported it when he first admitted to it, although I might have given him the option to report it himself0 -
After 20 years, with no real proof but the word of someone who was obviously having some issues, I would find it irresponsible to open up everything again. This time dragging a whole new family through the horror of it? For what? So you could feel that you did the "right" thing?
What if it turned out that this friend had imagined the whole thing?
Now, in the wake of his suicide, he is painted as a murderer. The family that had just started to come to terms with losing a loved one to suicide now is seen as having harbored a murderrer for 20 years. The articles would protray them as monsters who knew. The murdered boy's family would think that they were finally getting justice.
But then it turns out that it was all imagined. Now all that they are left with is one family in tatters, their reputations will never be healed and another family having opened up a box of anguish only to have their hopes dashed.
Nah. That'd be one thing I'd carry with me. I don't see it as being able to help anyone but the person bearing the secret.
Plus, I'd probably have applauded a bully being killed.0 -
After 20 years, with no real proof but the word of someone who was obviously having some issues, I would find it irresponsible to open up everything again. This time dragging a whole new family through the horror of it? For what? So you could feel that you did the "right" thing?
What if it turned out that this friend had imagined the whole thing?
Now, in the wake of his suicide, he is painted as a murderer. The family that had just started to come to terms with losing a loved one to suicide now is seen as having harbored a murderrer for 20 years. The articles would protray them as monsters who knew. The murdered boy's family would think that they were finally getting justice.
But then it turns out that it was all imagined. Now all that they are left with is one family in tatters, their reputations will never be healed and another family having opened up a box of anguish only to have their hopes dashed.
Nah. That'd be one thing I'd carry with me. I don't see it as being able to help anyone but the person bearing the secret.
Plus, I'd probably have applauded a bully being killed.
saved me some typing. All of this. So much to lose; nothing concrete to gain.0 -
There is no way I would have even considered opening that can of worms. Especially after he killed himself. He basically gave himself the death penalty which is the worst penalty he could have received from a court of law anyways.
As for the families closure. This may shock you but we humans have more than one way to deal with grief. Given the amount of time that has gone by we can safely assume they have been through their stages of grief and they have more than likely reach acceptance already. The worst thing you could do would be dredge up all this unpleasantness based on one persons unverified testimony. You have no evidence other than the words of someone that has already committed suicide.
The right thing to do is just let it go.0
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