A Little Bit Like The Book of Job
Hanfordrose
Posts: 688 Member
Tonight, our bible study group at church will begin the story of Job. This is definitely not my first time studying this well-known, old testament tale. Every Christian and even a lot of non-Christians know something about the story of Job.
Often people use this unfortunate man as the example of a person who suffered and survived great loss...and not much else. He is the 'tragic figure'. Other folks hold Job up as an example of faithfulness in the midst of suffering. He lost everything, including his children, and remained strong in his faith. One misery after another seems to be the major theme of Job's story.
Now, here is the part that some folks don't know or seem to easily forget. When Job was down about as far as he can go, his 'friends' arrived on the scene. I use the term 'friends' very loosely. His buddies were about the most critical bunch you could imagine. There always seem to be a few folks like that around, when things are going badly...people who are more than willing to tell you 'what you did or are doing wrong'. They are the all-too-eager judges of your life and your preceived failures. These folks don't even wait for failure to come; they predict it. This is the 'I told you so' crowd who enjoy celebrating in your sadness. They get joy out of other folk's misery. Online, we might call them TROLLS. They never have anything nice to say.
Even Job's wife was ready to give up on Job...and his God. She went so far as to tell Job, "Dost thou still retain thine integrity? curse God, and die." Now, is that what you call a loving, supportive wife?
I didn't think that my mind was going to take me in this direction this morning, but here I am. I tend to look at every bible story with the attitude that God has an important message in there somewhere...for me. Is that prideful or what?
Anyhow...Here was a few of the things that strike home with me from the story of Job.
1. Even when things were at there absolutely worst, Job stood strong in his faithfulness to God...assured that God would come through in the end.
2. Despite his wife and his 'friends' (the critics), Job knew that he was doing everything right, even when everything were going wrong and even getting worse. He stayed faithful to God.
3. Things didn't get better right away; but in the end, God rewarded Job for his faithfulness...especially after this terrible trial.
4. Job's real enemy throughout this whole tragic time was Satan, who is still the enemy of this world.
Okay, how does all of this apply to me and my life?
I have lived through some horrible tragedies in my life, including the death of both my parents, my kid sister and my son; and those were horrible times. Unlike Job, I didn't know or accept God at that time. I was a non-believer, during those horrible trials. All I could do was grieve with no hope or belief in a merciful God or a better life in the future. Those were the worst years of my life.
What about now...now that I am a Christian? My trials do seem so small...too puny to be compared to Job. However, I and many of you do have to face small trials all the time that nag at our spirit and try to take away our joy...our faithfulness to God.
Even trying to lose weight is one of those small trials of faith. When the scale doesn't show the loss that we hoped for...when we find ourselves trying to justify extra calories or a binge that will affect our progress...when we totally blow it, and the pounds come back...we are going through one of those trials.
Perhaps...during one of those times, we look to a spouse or friend for encouragement...only to be rebuked, judged unfairly or simply told to 'give up'. How much like Job are you at those moments? Can you still be faithful to the plan that you established with the help of God? Can you or will you even seek His wisdom and help, despite the critics? Can you press on, even when the problems persist, knowing that you will prevail with the help of God?
Let me mention a common 'trial' that many MFP folks face at least once and often frequently, while trying to lose weight. It is called 'a plateau'...those days and even weeks of no weight loss, despite our best efforts. I'm inclined to believe that plateaus are something devised by Satan to test us. It is during plateaus that we start to question 'our plan' and ourselves. Messages in our mind might include such things as: "Why would I even think that I could do this...lose weight.", "I should just give up.". "It isn't worth it.", and the ever popular, "I guess that I will always be fat. I guess that I was just meant to be this way." Maybe, you even got the message, "I am a failure."
Who do you suppose is sending you those discouraging thoughts? That's right...our #1 enemy...Mr. Negativity...the biggest troll of all...SATAN. He is the one who does not rejoice in our success, who doesn't want us happy, who wants us to give up on ourselves and on God. That is his mission, since that day in Eden, when he tempted Eve and then Adam with forbidden 'food'. Notice that he still like to use food as a temptation.
It is during our trials (like plateaus and temptations) that we need to be like Job. We need to claim our God and stay faithful to Him...and to the plan that He has for our lives. The trial may be long and the temptations many, but we will receive our reward in the end, if we don't give up on God and ourselves.
Often people use this unfortunate man as the example of a person who suffered and survived great loss...and not much else. He is the 'tragic figure'. Other folks hold Job up as an example of faithfulness in the midst of suffering. He lost everything, including his children, and remained strong in his faith. One misery after another seems to be the major theme of Job's story.
Now, here is the part that some folks don't know or seem to easily forget. When Job was down about as far as he can go, his 'friends' arrived on the scene. I use the term 'friends' very loosely. His buddies were about the most critical bunch you could imagine. There always seem to be a few folks like that around, when things are going badly...people who are more than willing to tell you 'what you did or are doing wrong'. They are the all-too-eager judges of your life and your preceived failures. These folks don't even wait for failure to come; they predict it. This is the 'I told you so' crowd who enjoy celebrating in your sadness. They get joy out of other folk's misery. Online, we might call them TROLLS. They never have anything nice to say.
Even Job's wife was ready to give up on Job...and his God. She went so far as to tell Job, "Dost thou still retain thine integrity? curse God, and die." Now, is that what you call a loving, supportive wife?
I didn't think that my mind was going to take me in this direction this morning, but here I am. I tend to look at every bible story with the attitude that God has an important message in there somewhere...for me. Is that prideful or what?
Anyhow...Here was a few of the things that strike home with me from the story of Job.
1. Even when things were at there absolutely worst, Job stood strong in his faithfulness to God...assured that God would come through in the end.
2. Despite his wife and his 'friends' (the critics), Job knew that he was doing everything right, even when everything were going wrong and even getting worse. He stayed faithful to God.
3. Things didn't get better right away; but in the end, God rewarded Job for his faithfulness...especially after this terrible trial.
4. Job's real enemy throughout this whole tragic time was Satan, who is still the enemy of this world.
Okay, how does all of this apply to me and my life?
I have lived through some horrible tragedies in my life, including the death of both my parents, my kid sister and my son; and those were horrible times. Unlike Job, I didn't know or accept God at that time. I was a non-believer, during those horrible trials. All I could do was grieve with no hope or belief in a merciful God or a better life in the future. Those were the worst years of my life.
What about now...now that I am a Christian? My trials do seem so small...too puny to be compared to Job. However, I and many of you do have to face small trials all the time that nag at our spirit and try to take away our joy...our faithfulness to God.
Even trying to lose weight is one of those small trials of faith. When the scale doesn't show the loss that we hoped for...when we find ourselves trying to justify extra calories or a binge that will affect our progress...when we totally blow it, and the pounds come back...we are going through one of those trials.
Perhaps...during one of those times, we look to a spouse or friend for encouragement...only to be rebuked, judged unfairly or simply told to 'give up'. How much like Job are you at those moments? Can you still be faithful to the plan that you established with the help of God? Can you or will you even seek His wisdom and help, despite the critics? Can you press on, even when the problems persist, knowing that you will prevail with the help of God?
Let me mention a common 'trial' that many MFP folks face at least once and often frequently, while trying to lose weight. It is called 'a plateau'...those days and even weeks of no weight loss, despite our best efforts. I'm inclined to believe that plateaus are something devised by Satan to test us. It is during plateaus that we start to question 'our plan' and ourselves. Messages in our mind might include such things as: "Why would I even think that I could do this...lose weight.", "I should just give up.". "It isn't worth it.", and the ever popular, "I guess that I will always be fat. I guess that I was just meant to be this way." Maybe, you even got the message, "I am a failure."
Who do you suppose is sending you those discouraging thoughts? That's right...our #1 enemy...Mr. Negativity...the biggest troll of all...SATAN. He is the one who does not rejoice in our success, who doesn't want us happy, who wants us to give up on ourselves and on God. That is his mission, since that day in Eden, when he tempted Eve and then Adam with forbidden 'food'. Notice that he still like to use food as a temptation.
It is during our trials (like plateaus and temptations) that we need to be like Job. We need to claim our God and stay faithful to Him...and to the plan that He has for our lives. The trial may be long and the temptations many, but we will receive our reward in the end, if we don't give up on God and ourselves.
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Replies
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what do you do when you can no longer be a good friend and you have turned into someone super critical?0
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What do you do when you can no longer be a good friend and you have turned into someone super critical?
If YOU are the person who has become SUPER CRITICAL, then you need to fix YOUR ATTITUDE. That calls for self examination and a serious talk with God.
It is easy to become a critic. Pride is the issue, when you start setting yourself up as a judge of others. Believe me, I know PRIDE. I am what the world would call an ALPHA type individual. I tend to take on the role of leader with too much easy. I have always like to get my way, to have things done my way, to find fault with anything that doesn't go MY WAY.
Pride is one of the things that I must keep in check, and I do that by keeping in contact with God. I have to ask Him to help me keep Sue quiet and let God be heard. I have to learn to stay silent, when my opinion is not needed or wanted.
*****
If the problem is SOMEONE ELSE...a not so helpful, judgmental 'friend'; then, you still need God's intervention and perhaps a great deal of courage.
Sometimes, you can speak to a friend and make them understand that their words are hurting you...not helping you. It is a matter of knowing who that person really is. If this is a true friend, then you must speak up...be bold...and tell them that you really don't want their criticism.
On the other hand...if this person is just an unhealthy individual who enjoys putting people down, you must decide whether you can stand to have that person in your life. I don't care, if they are just a friend or even a close relative. Sometimes, you need to break away from negative people.
I will give you an example from my own life.
I met C on the first day of kindergarden in 1949. From that day on, she decided that she was the boss. For more than 60 years, she claimed to be my 'best friend'. C would tell people that we were best friends and then proceed to tell them everything that she thought was wrong with me.
Many folks asked me over the years, "Why do you let this woman treat you so badly. She never says anything nice about you. She always rude to you and critical of everything that you do?"
They were right. C was no friend. I grew up accepting her criticism and believing much of what she told me. In her eyes, I was a failure at almost everything. I later discovered that she was very jealous of me.
C had difficulty making or keeping friends. Only folks who were willing to submit to her would associate with her. She did not succeed in work situations, because she was so rude to people...so critical even to her employers. Once self-employed, she found it hard to find clients, because of her tone with people and her judgmental behavior.
Jump forward to 2011. I moved back to California to find my hubbie and I a new home. He was taking my the pulpit at a small country church and was leaving the church that we helped God to plant in Nevada. He stayed behind in Nevada only to get our associate pastors established as senior pastors. He was hand over the mantle of shephard to the new pastors with the support of everyone in the congregation...except...C and her husband.
C had joined that church during the previous year and got herself placed the church board, something that worried me deeply from the beginning. I knew that she had made trouble for pastors before, in her other churches. In fact, she had been asked to leave the last church, because of her unwillingness to change 'her behavior'.
C had already decided that she didn't like our associate pastors at all and would not allow them to become the shephards of HER CHURCH. Her attacks on them were vicious and usually 'behind closed doors' or on the phone. She decided to stop their advancement by keeping my husband in the pulpit of that church...even if it meant that he should DIVORCE ME.
Yes, my good friend tried to convince my hubbie to divorce me and stay in that church. She tried everything that she could to get her way and criticized me in every way that she could, hoping to convince my loving hubbie that he would be better off without me. That was a mistake, because Ed does really love me and knew C motives were just for herself.
In the meantime, the congregation turned on C. They put together a petition (signed by every voting member, except my husband, C and her husband) which demanded Carol's removal from the board. Too many of them were sick and tired of her attacks on the pastors and on them.
My hubbie is a softie and hates confrontation, especially when it might hurt someone's feeling; but he had no choice. He had to tell C that her time on the board was over. It was that or a vote of the church which was an obvious vote to remove her from the board...and maybe even from the church.
Who did C blame for her unfortunate situation? Who did she call and cuss out for everything that was going wrong in her life? That's right...ME! I had no idea what had happened back in Nevada, but I was getting daily messages left on the phone, blaming me for 'something that had happened to her'. I didn't know what was happening, until my hubbie finally let me know about the petition and C's attempt to end our marriage, just to keep him in Nevada.
I finally realized that I could NOT have C as 'a friend' or even an acquaintance. I arranged with the help of the phone company to keep her from EVER CALLING ME AGAIN. She was literally told that she would lose all phone service, if she made any more calls to me or my husband. That was the summer of 2011; and that was the last time that I heard her voice, doing what she had always done...criticizing me...putting me down...blaming me for her problems.
Even my husband admitted that it was a big relief to longer have C in our lives. Remember, she had called me her 'best friend' for more than 60 years. No amount of years or life experiences made her MY FRIEND. She was the worst kind of person to have in my life. I still pray for her, but I cannot afford to let her back into my life. God will be her judge, but I cannot be her friend.
You may have to make that same choice, Sis.0 -
When I hear the story of Job, I cannot help but think about Horatio Spafford's story and his incredibly moving song, "It Is Well with My Soul." Thank you for the post.0
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"What do you do when you can no longer be a good friend and you have turned into someone super critical?"
If YOU are the person who has become SUPER CRITICAL, then you need to fix YOUR ATTITUDE. That calls for self examination and a serious talk with God.
It is easy to become a critic. Pride is the issue, when you start setting yourself up as a judge of others. Believe me, I know PRIDE. I am what the world would call an ALPHA type individual. I tend to take on the role of leader with too much easy. I have always like to get my way, to have things done my way, to find fault with anything that doesn't go MY WAY.
Pride is one of the things that I must keep in check, and I do that by keeping in contact with God. I have to ask Him to help me keep Sue quiet and let God be heard. I have to learn to stay silent, when my opinion is not needed or wanted.
*****
If the problem is SOMEONE ELSE...a not so helpful, judgmental 'friend'; then, you still need God's intervention and perhaps a great deal of courage.
Sometimes, you can speak to a friend and make them understand that their words are hurting you...not helping you. It is a matter of knowing who that person really is. If this is a true friend, then you must speak up...be bold...and tell them that you really don't want their criticism.
On the other hand...if this person is just an unhealthy individual who enjoys putting people down, you must decide whether you can stand to have that person in your life. I don't care, if they are just a friend or even a close relative. Sometimes, you need to break away from negative people.
I will give you an example from my own life.
I met C on the first day of kindergarden in 1949. From that day on, she decided that she was the boss. For more than 60 years, she claimed to be my 'best friend'. C would tell people that we were best friends and then proceed to tell them everything that she thought was wrong with me.
Many folks asked me over the years, "Why do you let this woman treat you so badly. She never says anything nice about you. She always rude to you and critical of everything that you do?"
They were right. C was no friend. I grew up accepting her criticism and believing much of what she told me. In her eyes, I was a failure at almost everything. I later discovered that she was very jealous of me.
C had difficulty making or keeping friends. Only folks who were willing to submit to her would associate with her. She did not succeed in work situations, because she was so rude to people...so critical even to her employers. Once self-employed, she found it hard to find clients, because of her tone with people and her judgmental behavior.
Jump forward to 2011. I moved back to California to find my hubbie and I a new home. He was taking my the pulpit at a small country church and was leaving the church that we helped God to plant in Nevada. He stayed behind in Nevada only to get our associate pastors established as senior pastors. He was hand over the mantle of shephard to the new pastors with the support of everyone in the congregation...except...C and her husband.
C had joined that church during the previous year and got herself placed the church board, something that worried me deeply from the beginning. I knew that she had made trouble for pastors before, in her other churches. In fact, she had been asked to leave the last church, because of her unwillingness to change 'her behavior'.
C had already decided that she didn't like our associate pastors at all and would not allow them to become the shephards of HER CHURCH. Her attacks on them were vicious and usually 'behind closed doors' or on the phone. She decided to stop their advancement by keeping my husband in the pulpit of that church...even if it meant that he should DIVORCE ME.
Yes, my good friend tried to convince my hubbie to divorce me and stay in that church. She tried everything that she could to get her way and criticized me in every way that she could, hoping to convince my loving hubbie that he would be better off without me. That was a mistake, because Ed does really love me and knew C motives were just for herself.
In the meantime, the congregation turned on C. They put together a petition (signed by every voting member, except my husband, C and her husband) which demanded Carol's removal from the board. Too many of them were sick and tired of her attacks on the pastors and on them.
My hubbie is a softie and hates confrontation, especially when it might hurt someone's feeling; but he had no choice. He had to tell C that her time on the board was over. It was that or a vote of the church which was an obvious vote to remove her from the board...and maybe even from the church.
Who did C blame for her unfortunate situation? Who did she call and cuss out for everything that was going wrong in her life? That's right...ME! I had no idea what had happened back in Nevada, but I was getting daily messages left on the phone, blaming me for 'something that had happened to her'. I didn't know what was happening, until my hubbie finally let me know about the petition and C's attempt to end our marriage, just to keep him in Nevada.
I finally realized that I could NOT have C as 'a friend' or even an acquaintance. I arranged with the help of the phone company to keep her from EVER CALLING ME AGAIN. She was literally told that she would lose all phone service, if she made any more calls to me or my husband. That was the summer of 2011; and that was the last time that I heard her voice, doing what she had always done...criticizing me...putting me down...blaming me for her problems.
Even my husband admitted that it was a big relief to longer have C in our lives. Remember, she had called me her 'best friend' for more than 60 years. No amount of years or life experiences made her MY FRIEND. She was the worst kind of person to have in my life. I still pray for her, but I cannot afford to let her back into my life. God will be her judge, but I cannot be her friend.
You may have to make that same choice, Sis.0 -
When I hear the story of Job, I cannot help but think about Horatio Spafford's story and his incredibly moving song, "It Is Well with My Soul." Thank you for the post.
We sang that beautiful hymn on Sunday. It is my all time favorite hymn.
The first time that I tried to sing the words..."My sins, not in part but in whole, are nailed to the cross; and I bear no more..." I began to weep; and I could not sing the rest of the song. That was when I realized that Jesus had taken ALL OF SINS TO THE CROSS.
I still get teary eyed, when I think about those words.
Yes, Mr. Spafford's story of the loss of his children and how that led to the writing of this song is a wonderful message of faith.0 -
I never thought of Satan using my weight loss trials to get to me, but that does make sense. I realize now that he held my head under the waters of depression for many years; years that i couldn't even bear to look in a mirror because of my weight. I had lost one son to a drowning and was struggling to bring my younger son out of his autistic world and food was my comfort..
I learn a lot from you and I thank you for being one of God's messengers0 -
thanks for your story I too have a C, however my friend when she is not miserable, is kind and funny and witty (on a good day) and I wish I had the charity to help her but it seems that the good days are in the past.
She told me at the weekend she is abusing her partner but she cannot see it, she says 'he drove me to it, he knows how to push my buttons'...its just plain wrong and shocking. She tells me she is leaving her relationship but she never does, I try to be supportive but now I don't believe her anymore, how can you throw out a man at breakfast and then he's back in the house at dinner (twice last month).
On the four occasions she has told me she is coming to live at my house (with three kids in tow) she has never turned up, I once got everything ready (the first time) including informing my hubby we were about to have a lodger a teen an 7 year old and a baby as lodgers and she sent me a text...its alright now he took me out to dinner!. I need some strength from somewhere because now she tells me I am the only friend left and she feels isolated. She has stopped talking to her mother and brother not even telling them she has had a new baby (she is over 40 and this was a planned pregnancy).
I had many years of friendship love for this woman, we often thought of each other as sisters but her choices in life are filling me with dread from not working to not paying bills, we seem to now have so little apart from the past in common. To really put the boot in C would never think of me like this and certainly wouldn't say it! The nearest I have come to telling her this is remarking that soap opera have less drama.0 -
Rose, thank you! I love the way you related the story of Job to our weight loss journeys. And like you I had a friend like C...mine was J. I finally made the decision that we were toxic for each other, but she made the decision to end our friendship. I did sit down and write her a letter telling her I wished her well and hoped she achieved everything she wanted in life. I reminded her of the good times we had and the memories made, but also told her life would go on for both of us and maybe someday our paths would cross again.
I love reading your posts and blogs....they are very inspiring! Thank you!!0 -
Love it THANK YOU! I never think of Satan being in on the plateau, and I have been on one since the first week, trying to adjust foods and exercise to shake it, but I have stayed "up" and strong because of the pals I have on MFP. If I were alone, I would have quit already. Because I look forward to coming on MFP, it has protected me against giving up. Satan sure loves to isolate us. I have tried MFP before by myself and it was a worthless tool, with no support or accountability. I love Job's strong confidence in himself, so much so that he wants a chance to have a face to face with God, and I love his strength in the face of the naysayers, including family. He must have had some very serious life experience to be able to be that confident. I like to think I'll be there someday soon.
Thank you for your post!!
Linda0 -
thanks for your story I too have a C, however my friend when she is not miserable, is kind and funny and witty (on a good day) and I wish I had the charity to help her but it seems that the good days are in the past.
I had many years of friendship love for this woman, we often thought of each other as sisters but her choices in life are filling me with dread from not working to not paying bills, we seem to now have so little apart from the past in common. To really put the boot in C would never think of me like this and certainly wouldn't say it! The nearest I have come to telling her this is remarking that soap opera have less drama.
You must decide. However...as Sugboog so clearly pointed out...some relationships can be...or can become toxic. I think that you probably have enough discernment to know, if this woman is just USING YOU. She needs to have limits put on her behavior. You definitely should not be ENABLING HER by taking her and her children into your home. She is a grown woman who is acting like a spoiled child. ENOUGH! Tell her to grow up...or tell her to find another best friend. Otherwise, you will continue to be the slave to her whims and outrageous behavior.
You deserve better.0 -
thanks peeps its great to get another stance on this one0
