Colic nightmare

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rubybeach
rubybeach Posts: 529 Member
Just looking for more mamas going through this. I know I have a few of you already added as friends and I'd like to add more so we can offer support and share whats worked and what hasn't, perhaps we can keep a thread going or start a group to get through these 3-4 months.

The feeling of watching your baby suffer and not being able to help is indescribable unless you've been through it. For me, it's soul crushing, exhausting and mentally torturous.

Last night was hell. 4.5 hours of crying and screaming..... Only thing that would calm her (and only briefly) was bouncing on the exercise ball while bouncing her in my arms. My back felt like it was going to snap and my arms were jelly....

Finally, I broke down after 4 hours, woke up my husband so I could get a break and have a good cry. He remembered an email I sent him that suggested turning on the dryer and putting baby near it. It took two try's but it worked finally. Hope this helps someone.

I almost went outside to walk her in my pajamas, as that worked during the day. Just a little worrisome to do in the city so late at night. I'll update on my chiropractor appointment tomorrow and my midwife is coming over this evening.

Stay strong colic mamas :flowerforyou:

Replies

  • stellcorb
    stellcorb Posts: 294 Member
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    I do feel your pain... my Nora just turned one this month, but her first 3 months were pretty rough. For some reason, from about 6-10 PM she would scream with no relief with exception to when I was actively nursing or if I was pounding on her little back for burping... My saving grace was that she would sleep though. But every evening was scary, frustrating and exhausting. She grew out of it to be a pretty laid back baby... but I still laugh when ppl in our church nursery comment that she never cries!
    Stay strong, it will get better!
  • rosy003
    rosy003 Posts: 251 Member
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    We went through this with my second. We would bounce with him in front of the microwave fan for what felt like ALL night and day. White noise helped us a lot, but it was a rough few months. Hang in there! It does get better!
  • blueeyes25s
    blueeyes25s Posts: 78 Member
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    I have already spent many nights bouncing in my ab ball after hours of walking him.

    When my lo gets into his screaming fits nothing calms him down except cars rides. We have taken several car rides in the middle of the night bec I just to stop the crying.

    This is what I do. Walk the house back and fourth, bouncing him, playing white noise such as the dryer, oven vent, vacuum cleaner, I downloaded a white noise app, turn the volume up play the white noise and put the baby in the swing, or lay him on the floor and swaddle him up. Most things only work for a short time unfortantely but at least it's a few moments of quietness.

    Good luck with the chiro. I would try a probiotic too. That seems to be helping my lo and its completely safe and good for them. I hope you can find some relief soon. Poor baby :(
  • servilia
    servilia Posts: 3,453 Member
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    My daughter had shorter fits almost every night but one night in particular had me crying along with her because her shrieks scared me so much. I woke my husband up at 2 am to take us for a ride and it's what stopped her that night.
    Other nights I think it was gas and what helped was walking around with her high up on our shoulder and walking around with her tummy down on our forearm. Being on their backs really hurts them if they have gas. I don't know if yours is related to gas at all. I hope it gets better because that one night of it was bad enough, I can't imagine it all the time.
  • rubybeach
    rubybeach Posts: 529 Member
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    Hi ladies,

    Thank you for your support and advice, I appreciate it,

    It's colic unfortunately, she has bad gas but even after farting and burping she's not happy. We do the 5 S's, but tonight we've tried a different binkie and right now she is silently sucking on it in her rock and play after crying for sometime without relief.
    I've tried the Ergo and she doesn't like it, but I will keep trying because I think you're right and the upright position is best.

    We're currently using probiotics, gas drops and gripe water.......

    I hear you on most things only work for a short time.... I hate it when she's quiet or asleep and you lay down only to have her wail again.
    I will try the oven vent too,

    Thanks for all the great ideas, please keep them coming!
  • servilia
    servilia Posts: 3,453 Member
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    Running the tap helped sometimes too! Some babies love the sound of running water.
  • J3nnyV
    J3nnyV Posts: 114 Member
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    Oh you poor thing. DS #2 is now 7 months old and he had severe colic until 4 months old. Hang in there...it is so hard, I really feel for you. The hair dryer and a full force running faucet worked for him. I used cold water when I ran the tap, but still thought of what a waste of water it was because I would stand at the kitchen sink bouncing him for hours with the tap running. Hours and hours.

    It does get better. My boy was also just diagnosed with reflux at 6.5 months old, so to say we had a rough start seems like a bit of an understatement!

    Big hugs!
  • rubybeach
    rubybeach Posts: 529 Member
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    So nice to hear I'm not alone! (Although I wish no one else has to go through colic or extreme fussiness)

    I'm happy to report that the chiropractor has significantly improved our little girls comfort level. She's sleeping much better at night, but struggles to nap even once during the day. Still.... I can't complain, I'm happy to see that she's feeling better. I still am using probiotics, etc.

    Hope you ladies are doing well.
  • cbutterfly18
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    I have been struggling with my daughter's unfortunate stomach issues since birth. she will be 2 months sat. she initially had mucous and some blood in her stool; she was also very gassy and irritable. we switched formulas and had her on nutramagen, which improved her symptoms but not enough. she is now on neocate, but was still very irritable. her pediatrician put her on zantac for acid reflex. we just saw an amazing baby gi docter who played with her medications and she is now sleeping 6 hours a night! SO much better... I wish we would have seen a specialist from the beginning! she is like a new baby. Colic can often be tied to stomach issues and can be a big reason for upset irritable babies.
  • rubybeach
    rubybeach Posts: 529 Member
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    Butterfly, I'm so happy you found relief for you're little one! Thanks for the tips, I'll look into it :flowerforyou:
  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
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    So far, I don't have this with this baby, but my first two, it was so trying. I felt like I would go insane. Walking outside, day and night, cold, hot, wet, snow, all seemed to help. Another thing that helped me was to set them down for a few minutes (they were going to cry either way, right?) step outside and scream as loud as I could. I felt better, and the neighbors left me alone :laugh:
  • rubybeach
    rubybeach Posts: 529 Member
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    Thanks Vim! I always wonder what our neighbors think too......
  • rubybeach
    rubybeach Posts: 529 Member
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    After a horrible evening, I found this article.....made me laugh through my tears. I'm sure you colic mamas can relate;

    Our Son Got over Colic, We Haven’t
    The real damage in dealing with a crying baby
    By MIKE SHIELDS


    There is a memorably dark scene in the cult classic movie Office Space when the main character, while visiting his therapist, describes just how bleak his life is — he essentially says that every day is worse than the last, thus every day is the worst day of his life.

    The presumably highly trained, empathetic therapist, replies, “Wow, that’s messed up, man.”

    That scene pretty much describes my life — and the level of expert help I received — when my son Christopher went through colic earlier this year.

    According to WebMD.com, a baby who cries more than three hours a day more than three days a week for at least three weeks in a row has colic. And unlike why most babies cry (they’re tired, hungry or have a dirty diaper), kids with colic cry inexplicably.

    My son exceeded the daily three-hour threshold with regularity. During his peak, my wife kept a log, hoping to discover some patterns. On his worst day, outside of sleeping and nursing, Christopher didn’t cry for a grand total of two minutes.

    And colic crying isn’t like “I’m upset,” crying; it’s “emotionally disturbed” crying. Christopher’s face would writhe with apparent pain. He’d contort his body violently and sweat — like a panicked adult sweats. By the time I’d get home from work most days, he looked like he’d just gotten back from Afghanistan.

    Christopher’s senseless crying was incredibly difficult to endure. On top of the regular newborn workload, i.e. feeding and changing him a dozen times a day while trying to squeeze in small increments of sleep around his day/night confusion, my wife and I were in a constant state of staving off crying. I remember experiencing such hopelessness that I told my wife, “I feel like I have nothing to look forward to.”

    What made matters worse was finding out how poorly colic is understood by the medical community. “Unfortunately, there is no definite explanation for why [colic] happens,” says the American Academy of Pediatrics on its website, despite the fact that it affects one fifth of children. When we went to Christopher’s pediatrician in search of answers, his answer was essentially, “Sorry, you’re going to have to ride it out. Try giving him some tea.”

    In fact, doctors aren’t even in agreement about what colic is, let alone what causes it.

    One theory is that some babies’ stomachs are so underdeveloped that they have either constant painful gas or heartburn, which causes them to scream in agony. A 2009 study released by The University of Texas Health Science Center at Houston theorized that a naturally occurring organism called klebsiella in their intestines might aversely affect babies with colic.

    The other prominent theory is that some babies are born into a “fourth trimester” outside the womb, during which their immature brains are being overloaded by the constant stream of new audio and visual stimuli; hence they cry a ton.

    And just as medical experts can’t agree on what colic is, they haven’t landed upon a standard treatment plan. According to The No-Cry Sleep Solution by parenting educator Elizabeth Pantley, “There is no simple, effective treatment for colic: parents and professionals are able to offer suggestions that may help your baby through this time period” — or they may not.

    You know things are bad when a doctor uses the word “try.” Doctors don’t say, “You might try amoxicillin for your infection”; they say, “Take these pills for 10 days.” In our case, we knew “try” was code for, “We really don’t know what causes what you have or what to do about it. Good luck.”

    But given our desperation, we did any suggestions doctors had for us. I can’t tell you how many snake oil stomach-soothing products (like gripewater) we tried to no avail. They typically helped for about 15 seconds — the time it took Christopher to drink the useless liquid.

    After a while we realized that Christopher’s colic episodes weren’t consistently tied to eating, which made me lean toward the fourth trimester theory — and to The Happiest Baby on the Block, a hugely popular book which many people recommended to us. To pediatrician and author Harvey Karp — I would love to punch you in the groin. Happiest baby, my *kitten*. It should be called Five Random Techniques That Might Work but Could Also Do Serious Physical Damage to the Parents.

    According to Karp, the five techniques (which each conveniently start with “s”) are swaddling — which screaming babies just love — swinging, shushing, placing a baby on its side, and having him suck on a pacifier. Yes, many parents swear by Karp’s techniques. And sure, your baby will stop crying if you wrap him like a mental patient in a straight jacket, rhythmically bouncing him in your arms while holding him like a martini shaker, and shushing him as loudly as possible directly in his ear. But just see how long you can do that in the middle of the night without simultaneously tearing a rotator cuff and having a complete mental breakdown. I recall at one point saying to my wife, after a night of fierce shushing, “I’m a little worried I’m going to get gum damage.”

    And about a month into the colic — a point when I was hearing imaginary crying babies fairly regularly — I said to her, “I’m not sure how we’re going to get through this. We should think about getting some pot.” Thankfully, I reconsidered that after imagining dropping my crying baby after a few too many bong hits.

    But that crazy thought process speaks to just how severely colic had affected me and my wife. That’s what still makes me mad to this day. One of the messages many doctors and books had for us was not to worry about colic, since it doesn’t do any damage, and that the kid won’t remember it. That might be true, but my wife and I remember it. And we’re damaged.

    The medical community offered little help, but friends, relatives and acquaintances were no better, sometimes even seeming offended when we didn’t respond with utter joy to questions like, “How’s the new baby?” or “Isn’t this time in your life wonderful?” No, we thought, it’s actually horrible.

    People almost seemed to want to deny colic or bury it under the rug — the way society used to shy away from discussing post-traumatic stress syndrome. Often we’d hear, “Oh, your baby’s just fussy.” God, I hated that one. People who like salad dressing on the side are fussy; inconsolable crying babies are tormented, and they torture those around them.

    I came home with pure dread on some nights. I’d get off the elevator in our building and hear our vacuum from the hallway (holding Christopher next to a running vacuum was the only thing that actually consistently calmed him – one of the few semi-workable solutions from the Happiest Baby book). My wife would be crying, bouncing our son on one of those giant exercise balls, exhausted and nearly begging me to help.

    We’d fight, of course. You can’t fight with the baby, even though you pretty much want to throw him out the window. So who else can you blame but your spouse? Or your mother, or her mother. “You’re holding him wrong!” “I’m trying!”

    We still bicker more than we used to. I’m still trying to drop the 20 pounds I put on during the colic period. Most nights, after finally getting the baby to sleep, I’d retreat into our bedroom and, like the clich’d woman going through a bad breakup, I’d devour pints of ice cream or sleeves of cookies. Sure, I could have had some drinks instead, but a hangover with colic — that’s like giving yourself colic.

    We’re also still more cautious than other parents we know. For months, we’d both get jumpy from just a little normal “I’m hungry” or “I’m tired” crying. It was weeks after colic was over before we started taking the baby out with friends. We still plan our lives around naps or bedtimes, and I’m sure our friends think we’re overprotective.

    The truth is, during my worst moments, I hated the baby. I even told him to shut up. After nine months of hopeful anticipation, I wondered, “So this is what I get?”

    Thankfully, things are so much better these days. The colic ended abruptly soon after our son turned three months old — as many of the books had promised. Even then, it took me several more months to bond with him completely, to let the irrational resentment and feeling that we’d been cheated pass. But now at eight months, Christopher is awesome — he’s cute, funny and, most importantly, happy. He cries when he’s tired and hungry and when I get him dressed — that’s about it. There really are no after effects — except for the ones still affecting us.