We used to do date night once a week until I stopped drinking. Now it's pretty rare. I kinda get pissed hearing he doesn't have money for a movie or dinner because I know he's spent more than a fair amount on himself at the bar. Yes he works but he doesn't want me to work outside the house. It's really unfair that I get a small amount of money & I'll buy groceries or take our daughter out or pay bills when I had more money but he will pay some bills & then feel entitled to spending the rest on himself. Today we are arguing because I told him a couple weeks ago I really want to start doing things as a family. We covered some stuff that he would like & when I ask him about doing something today he tells me " Sunday would be better because I'm going to see Ian's play Saturday" . Ian is an old friend, cool. But it irritates me that he's been in the bar 3 nights (missed a night because he was broke) already, probably tonight will make 4 & his first plan is to do another thing on his own. I'm sick of him acting like a single man it's completely not OK if I did that. And I'm sick of not having as money as I'd like to do family stuff because I'm not working outside the house. I feel like I'm doing what he prefers me to do. My work here at home is really important & I shouldn't be struggling alone because he works outside & gets the money in his hands. It's selfish & unfair. I'm so tired of being angry. He said he would do counseling but that's as far as it has gone so far. Maybe I will try to look into it.

Hi. I'm gonna try to cover all the questions w one reply. Yes I am sure he's at the bar. Doubting that would be an entire different issue that I would not tolerate-at all. I know he struggles w depression & right now I do think he's having a hard time w it more because he's so unhappy at work. I don't really mind the going to the bar as much as the crap attitude after. To me, you're doing what you want, don't be an *kitten* about it. And coming home around 6 is OK, not my favorite, but OK w me. I rarely, if ever give him grief about it because I know that will do no good. My thing is when your daughter hasn't seen you in 1-3 days because you get home late. She asks for him & honestly, I'm sick of saying daddy's at work when I know he's not. The money is a big issue for me. My income now is very little. I had a busy home daycare for a little while but ice scaled it back a lot. Now I make about 100-120 a week & I use that to buy groceries on his off pay weeks. Plus, I use it to do stuff w our daughter because I'm determined for her to have a fun happy childhood like I did. I've let up on the daycare because I hate it. I am thinking in the spring/summer to get a job outside of the house to be around adults & be able to use my brain. And especially w his lack of being around it is more miserable. Plus when the new baby comes Nov, I won't have a bunch of parents to help find new care. I plan to keep working w one family so I still have a little money. My nagging is really about time with us. The play idea absolutely pissed me off that he didn't think to invite/make a date of it. Just like when he looks into trips to do by himself. I finally gave in & told him if he needed to get away to clear his mind I'd be on with it but mainly because I planned/hoped we would spend our life together & I'll definitely want to do a girls weekend. I have gone to my dads at the beach a couple times without him but I take our daughter. He's not planning on taking her traveling with him, so its way different. In his past he traveled a lot & was alone a lot. But he said & says he doesn't want to be that person anymore, believe me I've asked. I just dont get why he always seems to go back to acting like that.

Since my latest ***** out to him about not being there for us, he stayed out late Friday. That was after our last argument which really consisted of me telling him how crappy things are via text. I know that sucks but I was so angry I had to get it out. Saturday he skipped the play which afterwards I learned he was planning to sleep over in DC. He came home & cooked for me & was a little bummed but just said he needs to make changes. I asked if I could help & he said no. Today we had planned to do something as a family & we have. We had a lazy morning, then went to a train museum, our daughter loves trains & now just planning to relax & I'm making dinner. My perfect world would be him being home after work every night minus 2-3 where he stops for happy hour, still home by 6-630. Then a night for us, a day to do whatever he wants w friends or god forbid-our kid & then a family day. I've told him this before. And it would work for a little bit. But somehow we fall back into this routine of him drinking every night after work. And my husband does not nurse a beer/drink. He's a drinker like a beer & a shot at a time guy. And then some. Coming in a grouch & going to bed early. He goes to bed early like 8-830! So I think wanting 2-3 hours a day isn't asking too much.

Thanks for all this feedback .I wish I could have him see this to know I am not nuts without him going crazy I've shared so much personal business. But it really helps me. :-)

Thank you Fly :-). Another pretty happy weekend. Things seem to be moving in the right direction. I really hope it keeps up. :-) :-) :-) I really appreciate everyone's feedback.