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Long Distance relationships?

Carlyannabelle
Carlyannabelle Posts: 621 Member
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My first post here....

Here are the Cliff notes.

Went on vacation, met a great guy, I met a lot of his friends, he met some of my family, we pretty much spent the weekend together. He called me the day I was to leave and we met for breakfast. We both said that we wished we had more time together and that we were going to miss one another. We vowed to see each other again, and soon. We have been talking and texting every day since I left. I haven't had so much fun with one person in a long time. We drank, we danced, we spent the night on a private beach and literally slept in the sand.......I am totally twitter pated, and it seems like he is too.....The bad part, he lives two states away and is about 5 1/2hours from me.

I know we aren't there yet, to even be considering a relationship, but he is all I can seem to like about. I don't know what to do! Be hopeful that things could work? Or just remain friends. I guess I am not really sure what I am asking. Just needing some place to talk about how I am feeling I guess, so thanks for reading!

Replies

  • pa_jorg
    pa_jorg Posts: 4,404 Member
    I'm not a fan of long distance, but I think you just have to go with your gut on this. Good luck! :flowerforyou:
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
    If it was me, I'd just stay friends first. Text, call, email. See where it goes. Who knows what happen? But don't put all your eggs in one basket!
  • flimflamfloz
    flimflamfloz Posts: 1,980 Member
    I haven't had so much fun with one person in a long time. We drank, we danced, we spent the night on a private beach and literally slept in the sand.......
    Weirdly you had fun doing fun things with someone.

    Alright, what this means is: it's easy to be infatuated for someone in such a context and to see everything through rose tinted glasses.
    I know we aren't there yet, to even be considering a relationship, but he is all I can seem to like about. I don't know what to do! Be hopeful that things could work? Or just remain friends. I guess I am not really sure what I am asking. Just needing some place to talk about how I am feeling I guess, so thanks for reading!
    As a general rule, long distance relationships are simply a no go.
    It's okay when you are young and are okay to see people once a month or so, but let's face it - it is annoying and the relationship won't evolve as quickly as it should. Which means you won't be in a good position to see the flaws of the person in time either.

    LDR can work well, though, for lonely people who never have opportunities or live in remote areas (I live in a big city, so not a problem for me).
  • silver_arrow3
    silver_arrow3 Posts: 1,373 Member
    I wouldn't recommend it. I was (am?) in the same situation, only I got to spend more than a month with him. He left in October and we still talk ALL THE TIME. For me, long distance relationships are failures waiting to happen. I'm an affectionate person... If I can't express myself that way with my significant other, I get a bit nuts. I was willing to give it a try, but he said that he would rather be friends because it would only be a matter of time before I couldn't handle it anymore. As much as I want to prove him wrong, I know he's right.

    On the other hand, we live 18 hours apart... not 5.5.
  • pa_jorg
    pa_jorg Posts: 4,404 Member
    I haven't had so much fun with one person in a long time. We drank, we danced, we spent the night on a private beach and literally slept in the sand.......
    Weirdly you had fun doing fun things with someone.

    Alright, what this means is: it's easy to be infatuated for someone in such a context and to see everything through rose tinted glasses.
    [/quote]

    Good point Flim... Vacation goggles perhaps?
  • Carlyannabelle
    Carlyannabelle Posts: 621 Member
    I haven't had so much fun with one person in a long time. We drank, we danced, we spent the night on a private beach and literally slept in the sand.......
    Weirdly you had fun doing fun things with someone.

    Alright, what this means is: it's easy to be infatuated for someone in such a context and to see everything through rose tinted glasses.

    Good point Flim... Vacation goggles perhaps?
    [/quote]



    I guess I never thought of it that way....Perhaps. I guess we will see how things go. Thanks all!
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,021 Member
    For adults, long distance relationships have expiration dates. Either one of you moves to be with the other one, or the relationship ends because neither of you is willing to move. So there has to be an understanding from the very beginning that you're not going to do the back-and-forth thing forever. It does not get easier. You think it's going to, that you'll get used to it, but every single time you drive that person to the airport or vice versa, it gets harder. So you have to be prepared for that. I think it's probably a good idea to have a cut-off date in your mind. If you're not truly in love and ready to take the next step by a certain point, then you call it quits and move on.

    I would do long distance for the right man. I would make the effort. But I would have to know he was the right man pretty quickly into the relationship because I'm not going to give up my home and my job on a whim, and I'm not going to be stuck in plane-trip limbo forever, either.
  • bregalad5
    bregalad5 Posts: 3,965 Member
    I've had to come to the realization with my past couple crushes (including the one I made out with at the beach in June) that it's not the best idea. It's hard, but it's for the best. The issue with me, though, is I move so often, and most of the time it's a good ways away, so I'm used to long-distance friendships.

    I'd definitely keep in touch with him, but be wary of developing strong feelings. You know how things are when you first meet a guy you click with - chemical reactions in the brain and all ...
  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,439 Member
    Keep in contact and see how it goes. If you feel the same about each other, you'll both make the effort. You just never know where you'll meet your SO. I'd follow that buzz until it breaks!

    Good luck :flowerforyou:
  • jesusHchris
    jesusHchris Posts: 1,405 Member
    "Vacation Goggles" aside, I think they can work.

    I'm somewhat of a private person and like my own space. I don't need to spend every day with my partner. I also travel a lot for work and am fortunate enough to be able to travel on my own pretty often as well. I think that ability to travel on both sides would be key. It would probably be fun.
  • bregalad5
    bregalad5 Posts: 3,965 Member
    "Vacation Goggles" aside, I think they can work.

    I'm somewhat of a private person and like my own space. I don't need to spend every day with my partner. I also travel a lot for work and am fortunate enough to be able to travel on my own pretty often as well. I think that ability to travel on both sides would be key. It would probably be fun.

    How YOU doin'? haha
  • jesusHchris
    jesusHchris Posts: 1,405 Member
    How YOU doin'? haha

    Plane ticket's in the mail! ;)
  • browneyedgirl7928
    browneyedgirl7928 Posts: 910 Member
    It can work and 5 1/2 hours isn't that far. I have a friend who met a military guy on his way home to Arizona. She was visiting a friend who had moved to Arizona. Well, they hit it off so well they became a couple and now are engaged. He's still in Arizona and she's in South Dakota. She has kids so he eventually is going to have to move here. With Skype, etc. they make it work.

    I would see where it goes first and if it works out -- you could always meet halfway or switch off in each other cities on weekends, vacation time, etc.
  • bregalad5
    bregalad5 Posts: 3,965 Member
    How YOU doin'? haha

    Plane ticket's in the mail! ;)

    Err as long as it doesn't interfere with my trip to Australia next week, or my impending move to Russia at the end of the month, YAY! Or, are you coming with???
  • pa_jorg
    pa_jorg Posts: 4,404 Member
    How YOU doin'? haha

    Plane ticket's in the mail! ;)

    Err as long as it doesn't interfere with my trip to Australia next week, or my impending move to Russia at the end of the month, YAY! Or, are you coming with???
    2hreipg.jpg
  • bregalad5
    bregalad5 Posts: 3,965 Member
    How YOU doin'? haha

    Plane ticket's in the mail! ;)

    Err as long as it doesn't interfere with my trip to Australia next week, or my impending move to Russia at the end of the month, YAY! Or, are you coming with???
    2hreipg.jpg

    Hahahaha!
  • TheKitsune6
    TheKitsune6 Posts: 5,798 Member
    How YOU doin'? haha

    Plane ticket's in the mail! ;)

    Err as long as it doesn't interfere with my trip to Australia next week, or my impending move to Russia at the end of the month, YAY! Or, are you coming with???
    2hreipg.jpg

    Hahahaha!

    We're going to have to have a hunger games style competition for these f*ckin' tickets. hahaha!
  • bregalad5
    bregalad5 Posts: 3,965 Member
    We're going to have to have a hunger games style competition for these f*ckin' tickets. hahaha!

    I'm looking for certain body parts to keep me company here, ladies! ;)
  • Tube_socks
    Tube_socks Posts: 808 Member
    Ya know, I wouldn't UNLESS it was the best time and I was crazy about him. I have a friend who lives in Austin and met a guy during summer a couple of years ago. He's from SWEDEN!! They fell in crazy love while he was there (1 week). They kept in touch by phone and skype. He'd wake up everyday at 5 am to Skype with her at 10pm. Crazy!! They visited each other every 2-3 months. He adored her! They did this for a year. She got pregnant, he was applying for visa or something once baby was coming (before that they were trying to figure out who was moving where). Well she had baby boy early! He was going to arrive in 2 weeks. So he watched his son be born via Skype!!!
    This is not a friend of a friend but one oft sweetest gal pals ever. He absolutely adores and worships her and she'd sooo in love with him. *sigh*

    He now lives in Austin with her and baby! :)

    So if it were like that? Hellz yeah!
  • TheKitsune6
    TheKitsune6 Posts: 5,798 Member
    Ya know, I wouldn't UNLESS it was the best time and I was crazy about him. I have a friend who lives in Austin and met a guy during summer a couple of years ago. He's from SWEDEN!! They fell in crazy love while he was there (1 week). They kept in touch by phone and skype. He'd wake up everyday at 5 am to Skype with her at 10pm. Crazy!! They visited each other every 2-3 months. He adored her! They did this for a year. She got pregnant, he was applying for visa or something once baby was coming (before that they were trying to figure out who was moving where). Well she had baby boy early! He was going to arrive in 2 weeks. So he watched his son be born via Skype!!!
    This is not a friend of a friend but one oft sweetest gal pals ever. He absolutely adores and worships her and she'd sooo in love with him. *sigh*

    He now lives in Austin with her and baby! :)

    So if it were like that? Hellz yeah!

    I googled Swedish men. Was not disappointed.

    edit: after a few more google.searches, my dreams of a trip to Scandinavian countries is now a very involved desire 8}
  • bregalad5
    bregalad5 Posts: 3,965 Member
    Ya know, I wouldn't UNLESS it was the best time and I was crazy about him. I have a friend who lives in Austin and met a guy during summer a couple of years ago. He's from SWEDEN!! They fell in crazy love while he was there (1 week). They kept in touch by phone and skype. He'd wake up everyday at 5 am to Skype with her at 10pm. Crazy!! They visited each other every 2-3 months. He adored her! They did this for a year. She got pregnant, he was applying for visa or something once baby was coming (before that they were trying to figure out who was moving where). Well she had baby boy early! He was going to arrive in 2 weeks. So he watched his son be born via Skype!!!
    This is not a friend of a friend but one oft sweetest gal pals ever. He absolutely adores and worships her and she'd sooo in love with him. *sigh*

    He now lives in Austin with her and baby! :)

    So if it were like that? Hellz yeah!

    I googled Swedish men. Was not disappointed.

    edit: after a few more google.searches, my dreams of a trip to Scandinavian countries is now a very involved desire 8}

    Yeah, I've had that desire for a few years now ;) I have a really sweet gaming friend from Sweden and I always threaten to visit him. Well, he thinks it's a threat, I think it's a very real intention, haha
  • nolachick
    nolachick Posts: 3,278 Member
    Ya know, I wouldn't UNLESS it was the best time and I was crazy about him. I have a friend who lives in Austin and met a guy during summer a couple of years ago. He's from SWEDEN!! They fell in crazy love while he was there (1 week). They kept in touch by phone and skype. He'd wake up everyday at 5 am to Skype with her at 10pm. Crazy!! They visited each other every 2-3 months. He adored her! They did this for a year. She got pregnant, he was applying for visa or something once baby was coming (before that they were trying to figure out who was moving where). Well she had baby boy early! He was going to arrive in 2 weeks. So he watched his son be born via Skype!!!
    This is not a friend of a friend but one oft sweetest gal pals ever. He absolutely adores and worships her and she'd sooo in love with him. *sigh*

    He now lives in Austin with her and baby! :)

    So if it were like that? Hellz yeah!

    awww this story gives me hope :heart:
  • Tube_socks
    Tube_socks Posts: 808 Member
    I know! Btw, she was 37-38 (looks like she's 25) when they met. She had been in a 10 yr relationship with a dude who was very detached and hard to connect with. She left him and said she had accepted that she was not going to meet The One since she had that long relationship. Then a year later, she met Sweden.
    I have seen them together. Seriously, she's the sweetest gal (helped me through my divorce) and it was awesome seeing such a happy gal be even happier with him!
  • nolachick
    nolachick Posts: 3,278 Member
    I know! Btw, she was 37-38 (looks like she's 25) when they met. She had been in a 10 yr relationship with a dude who was very detached and hard to connect with. She left him and said she had accepted that she was not going to meet The One since she had that long relationship. Then a year later, she met Sweden.
    I have seen them together. Seriously, she's the sweetest gal (helped me through my divorce) and it was awesome seeing such a happy gal be even happier with him!

    aww that's a great story! I met a girl sat night who had been with a guy for 10 years only to find out he had been cheating. yikes!
  • RunIntheMud
    RunIntheMud Posts: 2,645 Member
    Keep in touch via email, text, facebook, etc. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst. Long distance relationships can work, but it takes commitment from both parties. You can't walk into it with high expectations, though. Just get to know him. Maybe plan a weekend getaway around Labor Day, Columbus Day....lots lof long weekends coming up. Definitely easier to see someone when you have a 3 day weekend. :)

    Worst case - It was "summer love" and a great vacation memory.

    Best case - You have fun getting to know him and everything works out. :)

    Good luck!
  • Prahasaurus
    Prahasaurus Posts: 1,381 Member
    "You have to have a little faith in people..."

    From one of the greatest US films of all time: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3RCpsbr7HEw


    --P
  • Follow_me
    Follow_me Posts: 6,120 Member
    I just got burned by one.

    :cry:

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