When did you spill the beans?
redredfox
Posts: 76 Member
Hello all! I joined this group a few days ago when I found out that I am pregnant! I am currently about six weeks along and am looking forward to a happy, healthy pregnancy. So far, the hardest part is waiting around to tell family! Naturally, I want to tell everyone RIGHT NOW but know that I should wait. How long did everyone wait to tell people they were pregnant and why? I have heard anything from eight to twelve weeks and am sure that's it's probably based mostly off of personal preferance but feedback and ideas would be nice 
Thanks ladies!
Thanks ladies!
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I tell on the early side of "safe." With this pregnancy, it was 10 weeks. I actually had this fun little facebook announcement I wanted to make and it involved using two race tags from a 5k, so I did it after the race
I think that once you've seen/heard the heartbeat, you're pretty safe. Of course I say that and I haven't had a prenatal yet, but I feel pretty confident at 11 weeks pregnant with raging nausea.0 -
I announced my first pregnancy the day the fertility doctor called and told us we were pregnant.
This time because the pregnancy was unexpected (5+ years later!) we announced as soon as we saw on u/s that the pregnancy was viable with a heartbeat, around 6 1/2 weeks.0 -
I told family/close friends as soon as I got the BFP. I told the rest of the world at around 12 weeks. I have lost a baby before so I know how hard it is. I cannot imagine not having family or friends for support which is why I let them in on it. Besides that, I was so excited I couldn't keep it a secret.0
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We waited until about week 14 because we had had 3 previous miscarriages and didn't want to have to "untell" everyone. It was soooo hard to keep it a secret for that long especially because I was so stinkin' sick.0
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I tell family and close friends right away, but do not spill publicly until 12 weeks. I am not a private person though and am pretty sure that in the event I miscarried I would want the support of family and close friends, though I would NOT want to explain it to 600 of my closest Facebook friends. Suffering alone would be worse for me personally, but everyone is different. That was what I took into consideration before telling anyone.
Congrats!!! How exciting!0 -
With my previous pregnancies I told people as soon as I found out. This time is different though, as I'm a surrogate. I don't plan to tell my extended family at all (we live in different states). I'm 7 1/2 months along and I still haven't told work yet! lol Only a couple of friends know. I'm sure I'll have to say something soon since I'm starting to outgrow my pre-pregnancy clothes.0
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I told my mom, brother, and a few friends right away. My husband told his family a few days later "when he got around to it" - but that's another story, LOL. I also told my boss right away because some of the friends I told were co-workers and I didn't want her to find out accidentally. I'm close to my boss though, so this wouldn't necessarily be right for everyone.
After the 8 week ultrasound when we knew there was a heartbeat, we told her daughter and I started telling more co-workers. Honestly, I am now 14 weeks and I still haven't told everyone at work because I'm telling people as it comes up.
My mom is telling everyone though so I joked that if there were people left that I hadn't told at work, I would just take her along!0 -
I announced all 3 of mine when I got a positive pregnancy test!! I think some people wait until they're past the super dangerous point of losing the pregnancy, but I never was able to keep secrets very well!0
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I waited till about 13-14 weeks cuz i wanted to hear the heartbeat first. With my other 2 i told people around 12 weeks or so.0
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I still havent completely told everyone, but after losing the first pregnancy I was a lot more gun shy to tell. I waited till about the 14th week to tell the parents.
I also wanted to wait till after the ultrasound0 -
This is my 3rd pregnancy with two previous miscarriages. I was very apprehensive in telling anyone until I saw the heartbeat this time around. It was very emotionally draining to tell people I was pregnant only to miscarry and have them question me about it.
I am currently 15 weeks and have only told my family (at 12 weeks) and coworkers (my friends!)/principal (today). Since I am a teacher the sooner the better in the hopes that I can get a good substitute in January.
I think telling/not telling is a very personal decision and there is no correct "time" that fits everyone.
Congrats!0 -
I told my folks right away and a couple of really close friends, otherwise I waited until 12 weeks this time (I started to show so ended up telling people) and last time I waited until 16 weeks but I have also had multiple miscarriages. So excited for you!!!0
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I got pregnant with the help of a fertility doctor on March 20th....tested positive on March 22nd.
My brother found out at 5.5 weeks because we thought we miscarried and I had plans with him that day (I still went to the ball game with him, but made him park a little closer than our normal 2 mile walk since I'd been bleeding pretty bad).
We told my mom on Mother's Day (11ish weeks). My extended family on Father's Day (15ish weeks). My in-laws at 13 weeks. My friend have found out at varying points as I haven't had the energy to do some of the things we normally do. And I'm not drinking much (being a wine lover that's a giveaway!).
I'm 23 weeks and still haven't "announced" on facebook or to causal friends. They'll find out when they see me growing (which hasn't really happened yet) or when I have the kid
We're not hiding it. but we're not shouting it from the rooftops either. We found as long as we keep it to ourselves, we've kept our identity.... as in, it's not all about baby all the time. Some people, once they've found out, seem to have forgotten that we're two individuals and a couple....not just parents to be. I appreciate doing normal things and discussing economics, wine, books, etc... with the people who don't yet know (as opposed to cloth versus disposable, nursing bras, and changing tables). It's keeping life a little more "normal" for us for now.0 -
I told close family and friends when I first found out, at about 6 weeks pregnant I waited until 12 weeks when the miscarriage rate drops to less than 1% to tell everyone else0
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This time I waited til around 15 weeks except for close family/friends. I'm glad I did. With my daughter I told right away & then had a scare which was awful after having had a miscarriage in the past. I agree to feel it out for what's better for you. :-) Congrats!!0
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Thanks everyone for sharing your stories; I love reading about everyones unique experiences! I am indeed an open person and will be telling my immediate family tomorrow after our first appointment (and I will be about 7 weeks along). However, I will wait 12 weeks to tell people at work. In my career field, people find out fast because I work around hazardous machinery and chemicals and they need to remove me from my workcenter. For now, I will wait around for some morning sickness 0
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Thanks everyone for sharing your stories; I love reading about everyones unique experiences! I am indeed an open person and will be telling my immediate family tomorrow after our first appointment (and I will be about 7 weeks along). However, I will wait 12 weeks to tell people at work. In my career field, people find out fast because I work around hazardous machinery and chemicals and they need to remove me from my workcenter. For now, I will wait around for some morning sickness
Lots of prayers and best wishes on your appointment.0 -
My ob won't see you until past 11 weeks and I could NEVER wait that long. lol This go around I called or fb messaged my sister right away. She was the only one who knew we were trying. That night we had friends over for dinner and we told them after the kids were in bed. I don't honestly remember when we told the rest of our families but it was early. Of course we knew we were pregnant before I'd even missed my cycle. Love the early response test. lol0
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We told the other kids, then the parents, at about 21 weeks. We are old and waited until the prenatal testing told us he was 'normal' before we told everyone. I was already fat, so it was pretty easy to hide. 0
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Daughter and parents: 9w
Grandparents, family, sisters: 12w6d
Work: 16w4d
I waited with work just because I didnt want to hear the comments and have lots of questions thrown at me. I probably would have waited longer but I told my boss and he already knew so I realized word was going to leak out soon if I didnt just "come clean". Besides, maternity pants are way too comfortable.0 -
We are at 6 weeks. Planning on telling my mom at 8 weeks (after first prenatal appt.) and everyone else at 12 weeks. I did tell my BFF yesterday because she's my running partner and symptoms are making running not a priority for me this week.0
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1st pregnancy we told around 8 weeks. (After my appt) Well actually we told my mom at 5 weeks. Lol
2nd pregnancy, 10-12 weeks. And we found out the gender, but didn't tell anyone else.
This pregnancy, I am keeping a secret until thanksgiving/Christmas. Hosting a huge party for both of our families and I will definitely be showing then. After that I'll mail out Christmas cards that will have a picture of my family and my obvious bump. That will be the announcement. Oh and none of us are finding out the gender this time. It will likely be our last. 0 -
We told family as soon as we found out, then friends at 10 weeks because my husband couldn't wait! I felt nervous about not waiting the traditional 12 weeks but now, at 22 weeks I think you should just tell anyone you want to as soon as you feel like it. Anyone you know who would support you and offer understanding were anything to go wrong, that is.
Anything can happen at any time and it could be nice to have a support network of people around you. Depends on whether you're ready to share in possible hard times as well as happy times.
It's nice to have this little secret for a while but it's also really special to share with people you love!
Do what feels right for YOU and don't be taken aback by anyone going, WHAT you didn't wait 3 months?? That was for a time when people didn't share in their hardships, these days we all hopefully have supportive friends 0 -
With our first five pregnancies, we told everyone right away. By the sixth, I was getting tired of certain people who couldn't bring themselves to follow the old rule, "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." So I announced on Facebook (still right away), with a note about ONLY wanting to hear positive comments. Then we miscarried, and I felt like it wasn't worth it to stress myself out about the reactions of rude people before we even knew if it was sticky.
With the next one, I knew right away that I was going to miscarry. I just knew it. So I didn't tell anyone, even my DH. (That's a complicated story.) When it happened, I was so alone, and I called DH at work, crying hysterically. I regretted not having told anyone, and having no support.
This time, we told just a few people who we knew would be supportive. (And then, everyone at the pub where we hang out figured it out when I turned down a drink, LOL.) After we saw the heartbeat, we told the kids and posted the ultrasound picture on Facebook.0 -
With our first five pregnancies, we told everyone right away. By the sixth, I was getting tired of certain people who couldn't bring themselves to follow the old rule, "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." So I announced on Facebook (still right away), with a note about ONLY wanting to hear positive comments. Then we miscarried, and I felt like it wasn't worth it to stress myself out about the reactions of rude people before we even knew if it was sticky.
With the next one, I knew right away that I was going to miscarry. I just knew it. So I didn't tell anyone, even my DH. (That's a complicated story.) When it happened, I was so alone, and I called DH at work, crying hysterically. I regretted not having told anyone, and having no support.
This time, we told just a few people who we knew would be supportive. (And then, everyone at the pub where we hang out figured it out when I turned down a drink, LOL.) After we saw the heartbeat, we told the kids and posted the ultrasound picture on Facebook.
Ah, I am so sorry you had to go through that sadness..
Can't believe people would NOT react nicely to baby news, what weirdos!
Hope you get nothing but support now 0 -
With our first five pregnancies, we told everyone right away. By the sixth, I was getting tired of certain people who couldn't bring themselves to follow the old rule, "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." So I announced on Facebook (still right away), with a note about ONLY wanting to hear positive comments. Then we miscarried, and I felt like it wasn't worth it to stress myself out about the reactions of rude people before we even knew if it was sticky.
With the next one, I knew right away that I was going to miscarry. I just knew it. So I didn't tell anyone, even my DH. (That's a complicated story.) When it happened, I was so alone, and I called DH at work, crying hysterically. I regretted not having told anyone, and having no support.
This time, we told just a few people who we knew would be supportive. (And then, everyone at the pub where we hang out figured it out when I turned down a drink, LOL.) After we saw the heartbeat, we told the kids and posted the ultrasound picture on Facebook.
I have a friend who is having number seven and she told me that people have made some really rude comments to her. She and her husband can afford another baby so why not? People are just rude.0 -
i told my mom and husband's parents right away, but waited 12 weeks to tell everyone else. the wait kills!!0
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Ah, I am so sorry you had to go through that sadness..
Can't believe people would NOT react nicely to baby news, what weirdos!
Hope you get nothing but support nowI have a friend who is having number seven and she told me that people have made some really rude comments to her. She and her husband can afford another baby so why not? People are just rude.
Thanks, y'all. This is our eighth, and we're really happy about it. (We'd decided we were done five years ago, and then just decided we really wanted *one more* before making it permanent. So this is our last hurrah.) My family just thinks we have too many kids. I don't know why it bothers them. We can afford it, and our kids are really well behaved. (After being around other kids the same age as mine, my mom has called me just to say how good my kids are, and how glad she is for it!) My in-laws are really supportive, though. My FIL even told me recently that he was proud of me for not caring what other people think!
ETA: Most people aren't *really* rude, even my family. I have gotten a couple of rude ones over the years (like the guy who ran the carousel at Ren Faire who tried really hard to convince me that I was ruining my kids' lives and they'd hate me forever). My family is mostly just noticeably *not* excited, and they make remarks like, "When are you going to do something about that?" Most people, though, most people just ask me to repeat how many kids I have over and over and over. First so they can be sure they heard me right, and then to tell everyone around them, LOL. Then they tell me it must be SO HARD, and they could NEVER do that, and they don't know HOW I can manage it all. And I kind of laugh and think, "Dude, I spend half my day re-posting pictures of David Tennant on Pinterest." LOL.0
