Thanks guys. I really don't know what I'm going to do yet. He hasn't called me all day, I'm sure he knows I'm upset and he always tells me I get upset over nothing. I don't feel I do that, but then again I value my girls and want them safe and sound and not emotionally abused. I'm considering telling him we are going to take a separation. But he is so dependent on me, can't drive due to his 3rd DWI offense, so I have to take him to work and back. I just don't know. I guess at some point I need to stop thinking about what he needs and start thinking about me and the kids. I would have to not care that he can't drive, that is his fault not mine. I've also thought about just staying there but treating him how he treats me. Take care of my kids just as I always do but when it comes to him wanting to go fishing at 2 am on a sat night after everyone's already in bed...tell him no. I can remember one day when my youngest was turning 4 and I was telling him about the party and finally he just stopped me and said, "do you want me to pretend like I care?" I'll never forget those words and I believe he is going to hear a lot of that same phrase very soon. Going home soon so I don't know if I'll be back on tonight. I'm exhausted from all of this. I went on ahead and sorted finances and I can take care of all of it on my own easily, I make more then him anyways and pay for everything for the kids as well. I can do this on my own I know I can...but I just don't want to. I love him, just because someone doesn't treat you right doesn't mean you just stop loving them..I wish it were that easy.

Hey guys, my big old awesome family! Thanks for all of the kind words. I've been thinking about things a lot and although I almost feel like its point less I'm going to give this one last try. But I'm going to make all of my expectations crystal clear about what he is, a father, and what he needs to be doing in order to fill that role. Also that he needs to start putting our marriage first or I will drop it to the last thing on my list and if/when that happens I will start looking into divorce, no more talks. I know it's stupid to try again and again and again...but I grew up with out my dad in the house and I hated it. And him and I have a bad relationship now, there's nothing I can do to fix that. I want my girls to have their dad in their life, and I really want to be with him. He is selfish, but sometimes I think he just doesn't know he is and I have to point it out. He hasn't really said a word to me but last night he was playing with the kids and made dinner and cleaned house, so he knows what he did was wrong. I'm sure I'll be back at this point again but this time when I talk to him, I'm going to tell him this is the last talk, if we have to have another talk like this it will be about plans for divorce.

I don't know, I'm pretty disgusted. I might not be able to make it another round. Just some thoughts I guess. I really just don't know. Thanks for listening...

I'm feeling better about things already

I will let you all know how it goes. I'm going to be off work here in a bit and then try and have some alone time with him to see if he will talk to me and what we can adjust so neither of us feel overwhelmed. I will do all I can before I give up on something so important.

Everyone here is great and I'm so happy to have joined this group and got to know all of you. You pick me up when I'm down and I'm happy to do the same for all of you

Okay guys, so I wanted to update you on my situation. We hadn't talked all week and yesterday I finally told him that I have said all I could say and that I think I wanted out of the marriage. He was shocked, but said okay. I took my kids to the meet the teacher night and then to their grandmas, she wanted them one last night before school started, and when I came home we got into a huge argument. I knew it was coming and so did he. We kind of just hollered at each other for a good hour or two and when everything was said I think we both realized that these are things we've just been keeping inside and expected the other to know. Like he told me about how stressed he was at work and how they lost his co worker so its just been him and he shows up 30 mins early, takes a 10 min lunch to eat real quick and leaves 30 mins late. He also said that even though I ask him to help with the kids, that I wont let him. He feels like I helicopter too much and I do, because I always think he is going to screw up. He said that he wants to parent our girls too but I have to let him do it his way and let him learn from his mistakes. He said he felt really bad about yelling at our six year old and that's now a mistake he learned from. He said that he doesn't spend a lot of time around them because he doesn't understand them and yes, they do talk a lot of gibberish and so I told him I always change the subject to something I can talk to them about. Bottom line, they just want to talk to you.

We have decided that we are keeping the 3 day system but if either feels over whelmed and needs an extra day to recuperate.. we will voice that. He also said that he would start tucking them every night and I will start getting them up every morning which I think is fair and hopefully works.

He was crying yesterday and when I said I wanted out. He said with work and then new house and the kids that he tries so hard to make everyone happy and I'm glad we both finally said what we needed to say. I told him if he ever thinks I ask too much, just TELL me and we can compromise. But I'm not psychic! However, I also held a lot in as well...and I should have opened up sooner about how I felt.

Ultimately, no divorce...and I can't tell you how happy that makes me

Parenting seems to come natural to me, but I guess it really is a learned thing for some people and with me being an over protective mother, I can see why he holds back from it.

I'm still a little weary of all of this, but I have to stay hopeful for all of us.

Thanks for listening. Love you guys!

I think it was a very healthy talk and I'm so happy that we did it because yes he drives me insane, as most men do to their wives, but I don't think I could ever love anyone as much I love that man. I took him lunch and it was nice to have some alone time without our girls to just chit chat about our day and things.

Thanks for not judging me on my choices guys...