Divorced? Change your name back - Why or why not?

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JanieJack
JanieJack Posts: 3,831 Member
For the ladies who changed their name after marriage (or would if they got married):

Did you change your name back after divorce? Why or why not? If you've gone through divorce (and I hope you never will) do you think you would change your name?

For the men:

If you meet a lady, would you care? Why or why not?



My personal answer: I kept the same name because 1) it's easier (as a mom) to have the same name as your kid and 2) my career was pretty well established. This move has me working in the same building as my ex (ugh) so now I’m considering changing it back because I'm in enough environments with my ex and his new wife that it's awkward for all of us to appear related.

Replies

  • BringingSherriBack
    BringingSherriBack Posts: 607 Member
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    I changed my name when I got married and kept the last name when I got divorced. I did it for the same reasons as you: my child and an already established name for myself in my career field.

    I have considered changing it back to my maiden name only because I don't want to be associated with my ex but have kept it for my child because as you said it makes things easier. I don't really know why it even matters because if I were to remarry, I would take my new husband's name and then wouldn't have the same last name as my child anyway.

    Most people that knew me before I was married refer to me by my maiden name anyway. But as far as dating, I've never had a man say anything about me keeping my exes last name. Most guys I have dated are also divorced and their exes kept their last name too.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
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    My personal answer: I kept the same name because 1) it's easier (as a mom) to have the same name as your kid

    That's why I kept it. Plus, my maiden name is kind of long and is often mispronounced. But my married name is also a first name so I technically have the "two first names" issue with it.

    I don't mind it though. I like his last name.
  • Tube_socks
    Tube_socks Posts: 808 Member
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    I changed it back and was soooo excited to do so! I had no kids with the man so it's like he never happened. j/k
  • jenbit
    jenbit Posts: 4,289 Member
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    I never changed mine in the first place. I have the most common female name of my generation (jennifer) my ex husband has one of the most common spanish last names in the world. I live in south florida. I didn't want to end up making it easier to steal my identity or my nursing licensce
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
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    I never changed mine in the first place. I have the most common female name of my generation (jennifer) my ex husband has one of the most common spanish last names in the world. I live in south florida. I didn't want to end up making it easier to steal my identity or my nursing licensce

    Oh please tell me his last name was Lopez!?!?!?! :laugh:
  • jenbit
    jenbit Posts: 4,289 Member
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    I never changed mine in the first place. I have the most common female name of my generation (jennifer) my ex husband has one of the most common spanish last names in the world. I live in south florida. I didn't want to end up making it easier to steal my identity or my nursing licensce

    Oh please tell me his last name was Lopez!?!?!?! :laugh:


    lol nope Gonzalez.... By the time he was 19 he had 4 evictions on his credit and 5 different overue electric bills... It was hell to sort out considering one of the evictions would have happened when he was 13 lol
  • disneywm76
    disneywm76 Posts: 573 Member
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    I did take the ex's name when we married and kept it after the divorce. I would've gone back to my maiden name, but 1) have two kids with his last name, 2) earned a college degree with his last name while married and 3) it became who I was after 12 years of marriage. It would've felt weird to go back to my maiden name, although I did think about it. If I ever remarry, I'm sure I'll take his last name as I don't want to have the ex's last name for the rest of my life.
  • Sweetestthing87
    Sweetestthing87 Posts: 276 Member
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    I changed my name after my divorce. For one, he remarried almost immediately and it just didn't feel right. Plus I was just getting started with my career and I didn't want his name on my business cards and such. It felt good to have my name back. (although everyone loved my married name, it went well with my first name).

    I just didn't want that reminder I suppose. It hurt (at the time) to keep it and not be Mrs. **** anymore.

    I would have a hard time changing it now if I happened to remarry. I suppose if it meant the world to that special someone I would consider it, then again...who knows. (patiently waiting for that day to come)
  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,439 Member
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    I never changed mine in the first place. I have the most common female name of my generation (jennifer) my ex husband has one of the most common spanish last names in the world. I live in south florida. I didn't want to end up making it easier to steal my identity or my nursing licensce

    Oh please tell me his last name was Lopez!?!?!?! :laugh:

    :laugh: :laugh:
  • Prahasaurus
    Prahasaurus Posts: 1,381 Member
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    Not completely clear what the question is for the guys. Do you mean would we expect a future wife to adopt our last name? Or would it bother us if a new love interest had kept her husband's last name, long after the divorce?

    I certainly wouldn't care if a future wife took my last name or not. Although it was important to me 20 years ago. Not a deal breaker at the time, but important. But that was then, this is now. Completely up to her. I could frankly care less. And if she's divorced, whether she chose to keep her husband's name or not is, again, her decision, obviously. These things are not at all important, in the big scheme of things.

    However, for the record, I'm never changing my last name. And I'll lobby hard for my daughter to keep hers. :-)

    --P
  • SolanumSunrise
    SolanumSunrise Posts: 244 Member
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    My personal answer: I kept the same name because 1) it's easier (as a mom) to have the same name as your kid

    ^This. I kept my married name. I also still have my maiden name as a middle name. I thought about changing my last name to something completely different/random, but it's kinda like a tattoo... I like the idea but can't think of anything I'd want stuck to me permanently.
  • kimad
    kimad Posts: 3,010 Member
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    I am not married, but when/if I do, I would take my husband's last name. I do have kids but since I already have a different last name than them, since I wasn't married to their dad, it wouldn't matter. If I was ever to get divorced I would go back to my maiden name.

    It can be annoying that I don't share my kids last name, but it is what it is!
  • OperationSuperKAT
    OperationSuperKAT Posts: 886 Member
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    I don't plan to ever change my last name -- I personally like my name as is, plus it bothers my feminist side that women are expected to take the man's last name when they get married.
  • RunIntheMud
    RunIntheMud Posts: 2,645 Member
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    I kept my ex's last name after the divorce for a few reasons....

    1. It kept things easier with the kids and caused less of an initial shock for them.

    2. I do plan to remarry someday and I just didn't want to go through the hassle of changing back to my maiden, then changing to a new married later. There are a lot of paperwork and agencies to notify, just easier this way.