Feeling depressed and overwhelmed...
crunchybubblez
Posts: 387 Member
Well... The lethargy started when I was about 15 and never went away.
I don't know when the Hashimotos actually started.
I've had psoriasis since at least the 5th grade, and that's when I started to get sick every few months.
I tried telling my parents there was something wrong, but She said I was just bored and being high maintenance.
At 17 I was diagnosed with ADD and put on Ritalin which of course did not help.
Then at 18 I was diagnosed by a different dr with depression which I did not have, but the Dr convinced me that was the answer and put me on an antidepressant.
It made me depressed and I started sleeping 12-18hours a day and cutting myself. I stopped taking the meds and started to feel better.
Saw another Dr a few months later and he also said it was depression plus anxiety, but I just needed the right meds.
I went through 3 different ones that all made me crazy and depressed, and was then sent to a therapist.
I dropped the meds and the Dr.
I finally went to see another dr 3years later and warned him not to diagnose me with depression, so he sent me to a neurologist.
Neurologist found nothing.
Another 3 years went by and I was now 24ish saw another dr, giving him my complete history, with my main complaints being lethargy and chronic fatigue. He said he thought I had a form of narcolepsy and there was no way to test for it. (wtf?!)
So now I'm 26 and am in so much pain. I feel like I have the energy and body of an old women, and I don't have a menstrual cycle. No period, ovulation, nothing. I was almost 100lbs over weight and no matter what I do I can't lose the weight, and it just keeps adding on.
I went to see a new obgyn about 2.5 months ago (fired my first one after 7yrs) and he suspected PCOS and was the first dr to run a full panel and found that my thyroid levels were really bad.
He sent me back to my GP who put me on 50mcg of Levothyroxine. About 2weeks ago my levels were "still really off", and was raised to 88mcg.
When I told my GP at the check in about my fibromyalgia like symptoms she basically blew me off and told me we'd check it out after my thyroid was under control.
I feel like symptoms got a little better, and now they're getting worse.
My throat hurts worse, my body hurts worse, the soles of my feet are killing me again, Im needing naps again, and now I keep getting heart palpitations.
My good cholesterol is too low, my triglycerides are too high, and I'm now prediabetic.
I'm so thankful there's finally a diagnoses, but I find myself bitter about the fact that I wasn't diagnosed sooner,
and grieving the time I've lost.
I think that's something only someone with this disease can understand...
that even though I was here, I wasn't really here.
I've often thought this must be what a ghost feels like if there is such a thing,
and then wondering if indeed I was dead and hadn't realized it.
I thought I was crazy, or maybe dead inside because of all the abuse and trauma I had been through from a young age.
And of course She made me feel so inadequate, and lazy, and fat. She even went as far as telling people I was mentally slow due to the fact that she drank when she was pregnant with me. And then most recently came accusations of me being a "closet eater" and hypochondriac.
I'm a mom to two young kids that were obviously a miracle.
I'm a great mom, but then there's days I can barely get out of bed to go to the bathroom and I wish I could be so much more...
My husband... He's a great guy, and was so wonderful in the beginning, even put up with it all plus a back injury for years,
but there's only so much each person is willing to take, and I think he's almost reached his limit.
He says he loves me and that he'd never leave, but then he makes smart @ss comments about me "always hurting"
and jokes about trading me in for a better model, on top of him picking fights for no reason and threatening to leave.
I think he thought the thyroid meds would be the magic pill.
I apologize for this being so long, but I needed to get this all out.
I don't know when the Hashimotos actually started.
I've had psoriasis since at least the 5th grade, and that's when I started to get sick every few months.
I tried telling my parents there was something wrong, but She said I was just bored and being high maintenance.
At 17 I was diagnosed with ADD and put on Ritalin which of course did not help.
Then at 18 I was diagnosed by a different dr with depression which I did not have, but the Dr convinced me that was the answer and put me on an antidepressant.
It made me depressed and I started sleeping 12-18hours a day and cutting myself. I stopped taking the meds and started to feel better.
Saw another Dr a few months later and he also said it was depression plus anxiety, but I just needed the right meds.
I went through 3 different ones that all made me crazy and depressed, and was then sent to a therapist.
I dropped the meds and the Dr.
I finally went to see another dr 3years later and warned him not to diagnose me with depression, so he sent me to a neurologist.
Neurologist found nothing.
Another 3 years went by and I was now 24ish saw another dr, giving him my complete history, with my main complaints being lethargy and chronic fatigue. He said he thought I had a form of narcolepsy and there was no way to test for it. (wtf?!)
So now I'm 26 and am in so much pain. I feel like I have the energy and body of an old women, and I don't have a menstrual cycle. No period, ovulation, nothing. I was almost 100lbs over weight and no matter what I do I can't lose the weight, and it just keeps adding on.
I went to see a new obgyn about 2.5 months ago (fired my first one after 7yrs) and he suspected PCOS and was the first dr to run a full panel and found that my thyroid levels were really bad.
He sent me back to my GP who put me on 50mcg of Levothyroxine. About 2weeks ago my levels were "still really off", and was raised to 88mcg.
When I told my GP at the check in about my fibromyalgia like symptoms she basically blew me off and told me we'd check it out after my thyroid was under control.
I feel like symptoms got a little better, and now they're getting worse.
My throat hurts worse, my body hurts worse, the soles of my feet are killing me again, Im needing naps again, and now I keep getting heart palpitations.
My good cholesterol is too low, my triglycerides are too high, and I'm now prediabetic.
I'm so thankful there's finally a diagnoses, but I find myself bitter about the fact that I wasn't diagnosed sooner,
and grieving the time I've lost.
I think that's something only someone with this disease can understand...
that even though I was here, I wasn't really here.
I've often thought this must be what a ghost feels like if there is such a thing,
and then wondering if indeed I was dead and hadn't realized it.
I thought I was crazy, or maybe dead inside because of all the abuse and trauma I had been through from a young age.
And of course She made me feel so inadequate, and lazy, and fat. She even went as far as telling people I was mentally slow due to the fact that she drank when she was pregnant with me. And then most recently came accusations of me being a "closet eater" and hypochondriac.
I'm a mom to two young kids that were obviously a miracle.
I'm a great mom, but then there's days I can barely get out of bed to go to the bathroom and I wish I could be so much more...
My husband... He's a great guy, and was so wonderful in the beginning, even put up with it all plus a back injury for years,
but there's only so much each person is willing to take, and I think he's almost reached his limit.
He says he loves me and that he'd never leave, but then he makes smart @ss comments about me "always hurting"
and jokes about trading me in for a better model, on top of him picking fights for no reason and threatening to leave.
I think he thought the thyroid meds would be the magic pill.
I apologize for this being so long, but I needed to get this all out.
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Replies
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So sorry you are having such a rough time!
I think it would be a great idea if you start reading as much as you can and educating yourself. I was just diagnosed with hypothyroid this past year and have been reading ever since. Many doctors are uneducated in these areas. There is a ton of info out there. Stop the Thyroid Madness is wonderful. Many doctors recommend avoiding gluten and caffeine. Many feel worse and their condition gets worse when eating these foods. It will take some time to try to figure out meds and what foods act as triggers for you, be patient.
My Dr did hold off a bit on treating my thyroid until we improved my adrenals Some. There might be underlying reasons to take things one step at time. It is coming up on 9 months for me and things are still not worked all out but I'm hopeful that I am headed the right direction.0 -
Ive had hypo/hashimoto for 22 yrs ish? Alot of those symptoms you described I went through as well. The joint pain,fatigue, weight gain. It took A VERY long time before my meds became right. But even then it fluctuates so there will sometimes be ups n downs. ( By very long time i mean a cpl yrs of tweeking n trying new thyroid meds). I also get the heart palpitations since i started thyroid replacement. Drinking alot of water helps ALOT. When i start getting frequent palps i increase my water intake.
Im really surprised they didnt go to check this soon for you after all you had been going through. The docs need a slap. Its def not a nice disorder. Have you been checked for pcos yet? Or did they just comment on checking for it? Alot of women with hashi also have pcos ( me included ) as well as over active putuitary thats some how a side effect of the thyroid.
I also was diagnosed with depression n anxiety. Was in treatment for years but all i did was SLEEP as well and gave up my meds after about a year. Im turning to yoga n meditation to help with my anxiety and my husband got me a puppy and that was the best medicine for depression hard to be sad with that doofy face panting at me lol ( He is 13 yrs old now and still a doofy puppy face ; )
A few tips i learned through the yrs if they may help. Always keep a heating pad handy for the joint n muscle pain. Drink plenty of water. Aspirin cream works lovely for goiter/ thyroid pain and a bag of frozen peas. Hot soaks are the best thing ever lol. LOTS of lotion and a good deep hair conditioner to use frequently.
The choleste and trigclicerides ( sorry bout my spelling, im really over tired today :P ) Are normally high in people with hypothyroid according to my endocrinoglist. Cold weather is definately not hypothyroid sufferers friend. Could possibly be why you feel worse or just need the meds changed again. Dont be afraid to tell you doctor or flat ask out to have your lvls checked. After you been in maintenance for awhile you will just KNOW when its happening. Good luck to ya girly and I hope you feel better soon. Im here if you just wanna just a line to chat ask questions or what have you as well as the other ladies here are incredible!0 -
I've known I've had HAshi's since I was 19 and it was a Nurse Practitioner who found it, not the doctor. Sometimes they tend to pay more attention in my experience. I really would like to get my hands on your previous docs...who doesn't check a female for thyroid disease with all of those symptoms? If you don't get the results you want from your current doctor - here's some advice on of the lovely ladies gave me on this group - HE (or she) WORKS FOR YOU!!! Fire him and find someone with experience in dealing with Hashimotos. WE're all here to support you. Stay the course on your meds, but remember that the "levels" don't tell the whole story. I would encourage you to do your research and learn all you can about the disease. There is a book called Living Well with Hypothyroidism that talks about a lot of options depending on the causes of your hypothryoidism. I recommend it highly.0
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So sorry you are having such a rough time!
I think it would be a great idea if you start reading as much as you can and educating yourself. I was just diagnosed with hypothyroid this past year and have been reading ever since. Many doctors are uneducated in these areas. There is a ton of info out there. Stop the Thyroid Madness is wonderful. Many doctors recommend avoiding gluten and caffeine. Many feel worse and their condition gets worse when eating these foods. It will take some time to try to figure out meds and what foods act as triggers for you, be patient.
My Dr did hold off a bit on treating my thyroid until we improved my adrenals Some. There might be underlying reasons to take things one step at time. It is coming up on 9 months for me and things are still not worked all out but I'm hopeful that I am headed the right direction.
I've been trying to read. It's just so exhausting, and most of what I found is so wordy.
I need something that cuts straight to the point.
I did check out that website.
I had to put in a complaint about the Dr I was seeing, and am seeing a different Dr in the practice in a few weeks.
I'm going to ask him to put me on the dessicated meds and ask him to send me to an endo.
Are you at least feeling any better than 9 months ago?0 -
Ive had hypo/hashimoto for 22 yrs ish? Alot of those symptoms you described I went through as well. The joint pain,fatigue, weight gain. It took A VERY long time before my meds became right. But even then it fluctuates so there will sometimes be ups n downs. ( By very long time i mean a cpl yrs of tweeking n trying new thyroid meds). I also get the heart palpitations since i started thyroid replacement. Drinking alot of water helps ALOT. When i start getting frequent palps i increase my water intake.
Im really surprised they didnt go to check this soon for you after all you had been going through. The docs need a slap. Its def not a nice disorder. Have you been checked for pcos yet? Or did they just comment on checking for it? Alot of women with hashi also have pcos ( me included ) as well as over active putuitary thats some how a side effect of the thyroid.
I also was diagnosed with depression n anxiety. Was in treatment for years but all i did was SLEEP as well and gave up my meds after about a year. Im turning to yoga n meditation to help with my anxiety and my husband got me a puppy and that was the best medicine for depression hard to be sad with that doofy face panting at me lol ( He is 13 yrs old now and still a doofy puppy face ; )
A few tips i learned through the yrs if they may help. Always keep a heating pad handy for the joint n muscle pain. Drink plenty of water. Aspirin cream works lovely for goiter/ thyroid pain and a bag of frozen peas. Hot soaks are the best thing ever lol. LOTS of lotion and a good deep hair conditioner to use frequently.
The choleste and trigclicerides ( sorry bout my spelling, im really over tired today :P ) Are normally high in people with hypothyroid according to my endocrinoglist. Cold weather is definately not hypothyroid sufferers friend. Could possibly be why you feel worse or just need the meds changed again. Dont be afraid to tell you doctor or flat ask out to have your lvls checked. After you been in maintenance for awhile you will just KNOW when its happening. Good luck to ya girly and I hope you feel better soon. Im here if you just wanna just a line to chat ask questions or what have you as well as the other ladies here are incredible!
I have all the symptoms of PCOS, but I had already self diagnosed and was taking herbs for it.
So, when I went for the blood test everything but my thyroid came back normal.
The heating pad is a great idea!
I usually take numerous hot baths throughout the day, and I have a can of biofreeze for my back.
I have 2 kids and 2 rescued toy poodles.
Some days, when it's really, really bad and I don't want to deal with it all anymore, they're the only reason I don't give everything up.
I found out about the high cholesterol and sugar levels with a simple google search. The PA I was seeing is an idiot, because she kept arguing with me about what I was eating.
Thanks so much! It's really nice to not feel alone and crazy for once, even if it just through the internet.0 -
I've known I've had HAshi's since I was 19 and it was a Nurse Practitioner who found it, not the doctor. Sometimes they tend to pay more attention in my experience. I really would like to get my hands on your previous docs...who doesn't check a female for thyroid disease with all of those symptoms? If you don't get the results you want from your current doctor - here's some advice on of the lovely ladies gave me on this group - HE (or she) WORKS FOR YOU!!! Fire him and find someone with experience in dealing with Hashimotos. WE're all here to support you. Stay the course on your meds, but remember that the "levels" don't tell the whole story. I would encourage you to do your research and learn all you can about the disease. There is a book called Living Well with Hypothyroidism that talks about a lot of options depending on the causes of your hypothryoidism. I recommend it highly.
You and I both! I've actually thought about calling each of them and scolding them about being suck idiots.
I've already fired the Dr that was prescribing my meds.
I absolutely love my obgyn! I'm actually going to send him a thank you card and Christmas present.
He's the one that discovered my thyroid levels were bad.
I will check out that book. Thanks!0
