Sharing the news

cleaneater80
cleaneater80 Posts: 474 Member
Wondering if / when you will start sharing the news with your friends and family?

My hubby and I are planning on having everyone over for brunch when I'm around 11 weeks and then share the news. I'm hoping to get a t-shirt made for our dog and he can share the news.

I"m just trying hard to hide this surprise till then. Avoiding a glass of wine has been tricky
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Replies

  • Aww that's a cute idea! I've actually told several people not in the family. I had to disclose it to my co-workers and manager as soon as I found out because I work in the Radiation / Oncology department at the hospital and certain patients get treatments that make them "radioactive" for a few hours. I felt it best to let my clinical colleagues know so they could help keep me safe by identifying situations I should avoid. I also gave my manager a letter of resignation and had to indicate the reason I am deciding to leave. I explained to him that I would like to be home with my family during this time and even after the birth of this baby. I have realized more than anything working in this department how important your loved ones are and how short life can be. Everyone here has been very supportive of my decision. I'm going to miss working, but I have to do what I feel is best for my family right now.

    On the other hand, my parents and my husband's parents don't know yet. I told my sisters just because I am close to them, but I want to be able to tell my parents in person when I see them next month on vacation. My husband doesn't want anyone in his family to know just yet because I'm not that far along and he doesn't want to jinx the pregnancy. Typically in our culture, you wait about 3 months before sharing the news.

    It is definitely hard hiding such a big secret from family. Everytime we have a gathering I feel like someone is going to ask me if I'm pregnant because I've gained so much weight. What's funny is a few days ago a family acquaintance actually asked me if I've lost weight. She commented I looked skinnier. Go figure!
  • amyjpage
    amyjpage Posts: 97 Member
    We shared with hubby's parents and sister as soon as we found out, and my sisters the next day. :)

    I chose to share with my HR manager at work the other day, as we have fallen short staffed and she was asking me to pick up some evening and weekend shifts. While I usually am uber reliable and fill in where ever she needs me, I am hesitant to commit to too many shifts in the event this exhaustion kicks into high gear or I am just unable to work more than what I normally do.

    Otherwise, we are waiting as long as possible to share the news (even past 12 weeks, if I can get away with it) as I work with ALL women, and being one of the youngest, and not yet a mom, I am really NOT looking forward to all the unsolicited advice! LOL!

    That being said, I am SO excited and want to tell EVERYONE!! But then I remind myself that it's our little secret for now and the longer I can hold off, the less time I have to deal with all the advice!
  • Lady_Lamb
    Lady_Lamb Posts: 103 Member
    I told my best friend. She knew we were trying and I texted her a picture of the positive pregnancy test! I also had to tell my dentist because she wanted to take x-rays. That is all for now. We are going to try to wait as long as we can. I don't know if I can keep it a secret much longer than the twelve week mark!
  • LuluA85
    LuluA85 Posts: 14 Member
    We'll be holding out until 12 weeks I think (when we get our first scan to make sure everything's ok). The only person who knows at the moment is a close friend who's pregnant herself and has known we've been TTC. We discussed all elements of us TTC, to the extent of her knowing what stage I was at in my cycle and asking about my temps each day, so it was going to be nigh on impossible to hide it from her! Also, she sadly suffered a loss in the early weeks in the past, so as morbid as it sounds it's reassuring to know there's someone there I can turn to if anything awful happened.

    Don't know how we'll tell people though, it's quite an understated thing over in the UK really. Probably just over a nice cup of tea (and a FAT slice of cake!) Haha!
  • We're trying to make it as long as we can without telling anyone. It's fun to have a secret! :)

    So far the only people who know are you lovely people and my chiro who also wanted to take xrays. :)
  • rhye
    rhye Posts: 104 Member
    Ah, my idea is that I can tell anyone who I would also want to tell if I had a m/c. For instance I told my mom because she would be the first person I would cry to if that happened. Same with a few of my internet friends.
  • I just told my mom today over the phone. Couldn't wait until I see her in 2 weeks. Her answer was "I already knew you were."

    Mother's intuition...
  • tiggerhammon
    tiggerhammon Posts: 2,211 Member
    I couldn't keep my mouth shut. I told all my family when I was 5 weeks.
    My husband made me promise I wouldn't tell his family and would let him tell. Problem: I see his family all the time and he never sees them. He has been out of town a few weeks and won't be back until sometime in December. It is going to be so hard not to tell them. I am secretly hoping my daughter let's it slip.
  • RatherBeInTheShire
    RatherBeInTheShire Posts: 561 Member
    We pretty much told everyone the day we found out! I sort of regret it now, but we were just so excited we couldn't wait. The only people who don't know are my online friends/facebook friends/work.
  • Lady_Lamb
    Lady_Lamb Posts: 103 Member
    Baby daddy just got laid off. Blerg. I don't want to tell anyone until he finds a new job!
  • Baby daddy just got laid off. Blerg. I don't want to tell anyone until he finds a new job!

    :( So sorry to hear, Lady_Lamb. I hope he can find something soon.

    I've told my parents, my mother in law, sister in law and a few friends that I know wouldn't make a loss a more difficult thing.

    I'm kind of want to shout it from the rooftops, it's been a long time coming, but will hold off until 12 weeks.
  • _Doing Me_ : My sentiments exactly - I felt more comfortable telling people at work and online because I know they wouldn't make me feel bad if I had a miscarriage. We're still waiting on telling my in-laws. My husband wants to wait until after the ultrasound.
  • I wondering if you ladies can help me out with how to tell my boss.

    I just started with the company in June and once hired found out they hired me to not only do the work advertised in the job ad, but to take over the leadership duties one of the other gals was handling because she was going back to school. Not a huge deal, but it means I'm a bit more than just an individual contributor.

    There's also a major project in planning stages right now that will launch in Q1 and go on for a few months which I'm expected to be a part of.

    Because of this, I'm tempted to tell him now (8w) so he can prep, but hubby says to wait.

    My boss is also based out on the west coast, so I'd have to do this by phone and I'm not quite sure how to handle that either.

    Help! :flowerforyou:
  • tiggerhammon
    tiggerhammon Posts: 2,211 Member
    I also have a boss I only communicate with via telephone. I think the fact that she is a woman, and a mother, helped me quite a bit.
    I was put up for a promotion right after I found out I was pregnant. Boss called me and said the position would open in January and she wants to know if I feel like I want it.
    I felt the need to tell her because I didnt want her to be upset finding out from someone else and I wanted to be honest with her.
    I told her that I was so glad she was offering me the position because it is exactly what I need in my life right now, how I felt it would be the best thing for me. I also gave her every reason I could think of why I would be the best person for the position and how I knew I could handle all the responsibilities of it, regardless of the pregnancy. I encouraged her to believe in me and promised her my pregnancy wouldn't hinder my duty to work.
    But, I have talked to my boss so many times that I know her well and I knew that approach wpuld work best. I wouldn't have known what to do if I didnt know her at all.
    I am up against one other person for the position, who is also a little more qualified than I am, and I won't know until some time in December if I get it. But, I am still in the running, that's good enough for me for now. Worst case scenario, I dont get the new position and keep the old, but at least I know full well that I still have that.
  • Decisions, decisions....

    I think by law you're supposed to give 4 weeks notice before maternity leave? I think...? Although most people can tell by that point regardless of whether or not they hear the news for themselves. ;)
  • I definitely will tell him soon, at the latest by 12 weeks (8 weeks today). I guess I have to do it by phone and I guess I'll just have to drop it on him, no real way to segue into it I guess. Wish me luck and thanks. :)
  • RatherBeInTheShire
    RatherBeInTheShire Posts: 561 Member
    I plan on telling my boss (and her boss) after my yearly reivew in December. By that point, they've already made the decision whether i've gotten a raise or not, and the pregnancy won't affect thier decision. I'm still nervous as hell because my boss doesn't like me that much.
  • I guess my situation was different. I shared the news immediately at work by writing a resignation letter and giving it to my boss. In the letter I stated that the reason I am quitting is because I just found out I am pregnant and after careful consideration, have decided to stay at home with my family for good. I felt like that was the only way to leave this job on good terms. Everyone here has been so supportive of my decision even though they really want me to stay with the company.

    Today they bought me my favorite cake from Portillo's and chipped in to give me a $50 gift card to Buy Buy Baby. It was the sweetest gesture anyone at work has ever displayed. I've worked full-time in my past pregnancies and no one even threw me a baby shower, let alone buy me a gift :(

    Anyways, I think the best course of action is to wait until three months and then disclose the news to your boss in a phone call or e-mail. They will probably want to know your plans for the future and whether you want to return to work after the baby is born. Best of luck!
  • IndianMuslim, that was very sweet of them!! And bburg, sounds like a good idea. Your pregnancy shouldn't affect their decision, but I think we all know it unfortunately might.

    As for me, a call or email just seem so impersonal, but I don't really have much of a choice as there are no plans for me to fly out west anytime soon.
  • So basically the midwife clinic I'm going to gave the ultrasound people my emergency contact phone number rather than my home contact info... which means that they called to confirm the appointment and basically told my mom that I'm going in for an ultrasound on Thursday.

    So much for keeping that one in the bag....
  • Lady_Lamb
    Lady_Lamb Posts: 103 Member
    Oh no!!!

    My boyfriend told his best friend over the weekend. He hasn't told anyone yet, so I was kind of excited to hear his friend's reaction. He was happy for us, of course. Yay! I can't wait to spill the beans to everyone. A few more weeks...
  • usernameMAMA
    usernameMAMA Posts: 681 Member
    I'm telling people as I see them, no facebook announcements or anything. I'm waiting for week 12 to say anything to my boss. I'm afraid one of these days I'm going to get sick at the office and have to tell her. Small office, not much privacy in the bathroom area:/
  • tiggerhammon
    tiggerhammon Posts: 2,211 Member
    lol, I had to tell the principal of my daughter's school last Friday.

    I am an on call substitute for the school and was working on Friday. I threw up in the kid's bathroom (after I was already off my shift, but obviously didnt make it home first.) The principal wanted to know why I agreed to take a shift when I was sick. I said "well, last I checked morning sickness isn't contagious." (No worries, I didnt say it with attitude and I know her well enough to know she would find it funny.)
    She made me promise I would tell her when I find out the sex.
  • The cat is officially out of the bag! Whoohoo! :happy:
  • Lady_Lamb
    Lady_Lamb Posts: 103 Member
    I'm telling my parents on Christmas with this:

    pf1bPjol.jpg
  • usernameMAMA
    usernameMAMA Posts: 681 Member
    What a cute idea! I My parents already know but I'm trying to think of a cute way to tell them the sex when we find out.
  • Lady_Lamb
    Lady_Lamb Posts: 103 Member
    Now that I've kept it a secret for so long, I don't really want to tell anyone! I kind of like that nobody knows I am pregnant. I'll be about 15 and a half weeks when I share the news with our families. I guess I won't be able to keep it a secret too much longer anyway. Nervous!
  • RatherBeInTheShire
    RatherBeInTheShire Posts: 561 Member
    I told my Boss last week, so now work knows. I still haven't said anything on facebook/twitter/instagram. I plan on doing a simple picture on Christmas eve in a shirt my mom got me that says "Tis the Season To Be Pregnant" after the family that DOESN'T know see's me!
  • Ahhhh! I love it!!!! :happy:
  • amyjpage
    amyjpage Posts: 97 Member
    BBurg - that is such a great idea! I am sure your family and friends will love it!