How do you see yourself?
garber6th
Posts: 1,890 Member
I am going for my 12 week post-surgery checkup on Friday. I will find out my exact weight then (I don't weigh myself at home.) I have lost over 100lbs, probably close to 120 now, but sometimes, I have a hard time actually seeing it. If I look at my before and current pictures side by side, of course I can see the difference, but looking straight into the mirror, sometimes I just don't see it and I see myself how I was at the start. Does anyone else go through this?
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I have a hard time with this. I have lost 105 lbs. I should be in maintenance, but I'm having a hard time with that because when I look in the mirror I still see the same overweight person. I don't know how to maintain. All I know is how to lose and because I still see the same overweight person, losing is what's in my head.0
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Yes, I do. I have lost 42 lbs and my face still looks the same to me. I have been praying to let this go. I didn't do this for vanity. But it is disheartening that nobody notices that you are thinner until you stand up. Lol!0
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Take monthly pictures. Full frontal. Full back. And side. I promise you will see the difference. I did this with my lap-band...in a swim suit. For your eyes only. Trust me.0
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Right now, I feel like I haven't changed a bit. I am 17 weeks pregnant and previously had lost 105 lbs. I have gained about 18 lbs and it is killing me. It is killing my confidence and I feel like I may never get to my goal. I am alot more hungry than usual and that scares me that it won't go away. Everyone says that I am only gaining in my stomach, but a gain is a gain in my eyes.0
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You are not the only out there that faces this problem, that is for sure.
I think lots of people losing a lot of weight quickly go through the same at some point.
The question is, are you strong enough to convince your brain that what you look at in the mirror, is in fact the real you!!!??
Well, in my personal experience (3 years post-op in a month), I finally realized that I am not strong enough to deal with this self-image thing on my own and seeked professional help.
It is all in the mind, we see with our brain, so you have to train yourself into looking at the new you in the mirror.
I hope you can overcome this hurdle with flying colors.
Good Luck0 -
This is normal. I've lost 153. Gone from a size 34 to an 18 or XL and I still look at clothes and think "it's too small". I see a huge difference in my face but with all the excess skin I have on the stomach, hips and thighs, my bottom half looks huge to me somedays. Even my husband has this issue. He bought me a sweater for Christmas in the size I wear and said "it looks small but I kept the receipt so we can exchange it". I was so mad I went and put it on to prove that yes it did fit.
Point is, it just takes time for the head to catch up with the weight loss. I look so different than when I started this, but more importantly I can shovel snow, walk for hours, ride a bike, all kinds of things I couldn't do before. And my non-scale victories (NSVs) are numerous. It's so much more than looking better, but that too takes time for your head to accept. And for others, your ability to do things you couldn't previously do, seems to take even longer for them to grasp.
Be patient with yourself and those around you. Eventually you and everyone else will see you as a normal weight, healthy person.0 -
Pawoodhull I agree with you that my brain is taking longer to catch up with the weight loss! Everyone around me sees it, and sometimes I see it, but other times.. not so much! The NSVs do help a lot, but I think we have gotten so used to seeing ourselves a certain way. I have been in therapy throughout this whole process, and even prior to that, and it definitely helps. Another thing I just starting doing is writing one positive thing about my weight loss journey in my journal every day. I need that to help keep some perspective!0
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Just to echo what others are saying...it takes time. I am struggling with the same issues. I have lost 117 lbs over the last year or so and I still swing wildly between not seeing a bit of change and then thinking how small I am (then catching me in a mirror and I look huge to me again). Part of it is setting realistic expectations and part of it is just adjusting your head. I have no answers on it really, just that I am struggling with the same thing.0
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This is a great topic. My wife has been the one who keeps reminding me of the changes. Had to buy some close while on vacation and I just could not comprehend the sizes she was handing me. It did not make sense to my mind that after 3 months I was dropping pants from a 44 to a 36. The swin trunks experience has forced me to acknowledge some reality and I am starting to see myself more accurately. To be honest this is the same process I went through while gaining weight. I never saw myself as big as I got and could never understand why my pants kept "shrinking". Being away from my closet for three weeks has put it all in perspective; cloths are falling off.
I weight less today than I did when I got married in 1992 and in 10 lbs I will match my discharge weight from the USMC. If I drop another 25 I will match my boot camp graduation weight. This is my new reality and I am starting to really see it.0 -
Ronnie, it's funny how you say that it's the same process you went through while gaining weight - I can totally relate to that and I never thought of it as the same process, but I can see the similarities! That gives me a different perspective on the situation and something to really think about!0
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Glad I helpd a little. Stay positive!0
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Trying to stay positive, but I had a mini-meltdown about it today, someone took a picture of me and showed me, thinking it would help me get a visual of how I really look, but all it did was make me upset because I just see no difference than pictures I took a few months ago. Crazy! I am going to keep working on it!!0
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Trying to stay positive, but I had a mini-meltdown about it today, someone took a picture of me and showed me, thinking it would help me get a visual of how I really look, but all it did was make me upset because I just see no difference than pictures I took a few months ago. Crazy! I am going to keep working on it!!
I hear you. I went back and looked at pre-surgery, loss of 100lbs and loss of 125 lbs. I can see the changes, but still don't like what I see. I may never, but it will be what it will be. I honestly think I looked better 25 lbs heavier, because of how my skin is hanging below my face now. Maybe I need to grow that extra facial hair back to detract from the turkey-neck syndrome.
I'm certainly not going to self sabotage, I'm feeling better all the time, and that is what is most important. So I'll never be a balding Brad Pitt. In my world, that matters not at all.
I'd say to concentrate on the positive things that are happening, look at the life improvements and deal with body dysmorphia later.0 -
That's what I am trying to do, stay positive! My therapist is trying to help me with the body dysmorphia. I am SO going to be paying for his next new car lol :-)0
