New Group Member... Longtime Anorexic

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SuperstarDJ
SuperstarDJ Posts: 441 Member
Hi,

I've just joined this group and wanted to introduce myself :)

I have struggled with anorexia since I was a young child, my first memory of restricting food was my first day of school (age 5). I'm in my 30s now and trying to gain a little and trying to eat normally for my son. I'm finding it so challenging though. I would like to get up to - and maintain - a triple-figure weight, but the thought terrifies me. I manage a few days, sometimes a few weeks or even months, but eventually I freak out and lose it all.

I've been in treatment (IP) 3 times and hospitalised more than 10 times so now I'm labeled 'treatment resistant' and nowhere will take me on so I have to do it by myself.

Thanks for reading :)

Replies

  • BrownEyedSister
    BrownEyedSister Posts: 74 Member
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    I think it's awesome you want to set a good example for your child. Best of luck!
  • mazomama
    mazomama Posts: 138 Member
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    SuperstarDJ- I admire your determination to reach out for support! I know to well the juggling of the same pounds over and over. How old is your son? I have four children and was healthy for all of their pregnancies to the point that I thought I had actually kicked my ED to the curb back in high school, yet here I am turning 30 next month and struggling more now than I was as 12, 15, 18 etc! Funny how it can go away for weeks, months and in my case years, the hit ya in the face out of no where!!!! Ok maybe not no where, I have been told over and over that it's a persons characteristics or ways of doing and handling situations that set them up for the disorder behavior but who really freakin knows ......
  • Kissifusita
    Kissifusita Posts: 9 Member
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    Hello, I would like to share my story hoping you will want to support each other :)
    I started with ED's at 13 but was diagnosed at 16 with ENOS then I started really restricting foods and calories and was diagnosed with anorexia at 18. Had a strong episode was hospitalized at 20, started to binge and purge but got tired of it and went back to restricting. Hospitalized again at 23, 25, and tried recovering but hated it :-P. Then I sort of got ahold of it without letting me eat me completely but still struggled a lot so at 28started a water fast that lasted a month and again was hospitalized. Then I started practicing an incredible Buddhist philosophy which really changed the way I saw things and kept healthy for 4 years meditating and happy. Then my dog died on November 16 and I have stopped practicing Buddhism and I again find myself in this stupid maze !!! I am 33 now and thought I would be over it by now but as a psychiatrist once told me : Anorexics are like AA's you never recover completely and it is always latent.
    I am fat now so I really hope to loose my bodacity and get in shape !! I am even thinking of a liposuction since my mom wants it too and we wanted to do it together. I just hope she doesn't notice I am back on restricting.
    My friend did noticed and gets on my case sometimes but I don't care I am just not well right now!! I will handle it though.