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Does HS interfere with your relationships?

guppyphant
guppyphant Posts: 7 Member
in Social Groups
Hi, I'm Gigi! I'm a 25 year old student that's had HS for a while, but I only got a diagnosis this past year when I started getting multiple, large abscesses in my groin. I've had abscesses in my armpit for as long as I can remember, and severe acne, as well as hair loss due to folliculitis. I already had body issues with my thinning hair and acne scars (breasts, back, butt, etc.), but now I have to add recurring abscesses in my groin :( I've never had a boyfriend, and honestly, I'm afraid that I will never be able to get one because even if I can get through the dating portion, once I'm intimate with a guy I fear that my scars and the fact that I constantly have these disgusting boils in my groin will gross him out (it grosses me out, how could it not gross him out?). I can't even shave because it would just make it worse in my groin. How have your boyfriends/girlfriend/significant others handled you telling them? I wish I could talk to my friends about it, but it's just so embarrassing.

Thanks!

Replies

  • CharlieBarleyMom
    CharlieBarleyMom Posts: 727 Member
    It is extremely hard. I've been celibate for more than 7 years now because of this issue. When I first got this it was easy to dismiss as ingrown hairs on my thighs and my boyfriend wasn't bothered by that. When I met my husband it had just started moving to my under my breasts and hadn't hit my groin specifically. After my husband and I split I've had a harder time getting close to any man. One man I dated for a few months was an alcoholic and was drunk most of the time we had sex so it didn't matter because he was too wiped to remember anything (in my mind that worked for me). The other man of significance in the past 10 years was my best friend with whom I was in love... and I thought it was mutual... we had sex a few times and we were always together and always kissing ... but alas, apparently I was in love alone. Now I am alone and afraid to even talk with other men because I feel like I have to tell them about this before we become intimate so it is not a surprise to him... but I don't know how to do that.

    Now I've been trying to control my breakouts with my diet so that I don't have to discuss it as a bad thing... just as a thing.

    Please come join some of the LOCKED facebook groups that can offer you support.
    Hidradenitis Suppurativa Warriors
    The HS Diet Connection
    and there are more. Just search on Facebook for Hidradenitis or HS.

    Peg
  • BelenB123
    BelenB123 Posts: 8 Member
    Hi Gigi! Ive had HS since I was 15. Im 32 now. But in the last 14 years its been constant. You pretty much described me in everything you are going through. Ive had them in my under arms, inner thighs, my lower stomach for the last 9 years. Ive worn gauze every day for the last 9 years. I am married and I dont want to brag but my husbands pretty hot stuff, lol. Anyway I thought the same too. Who would want me that way when you have such things on your body and being intimate has been a challenge sometimes but mostly for me. I think i tend to see them more then my husband ever does. Its like he doesnt even see them. Have hope my friend. You will find someone who will love all of you. Ive been married 7 years and weve been together 12 years.

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