I Fell Down
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msmarlette
Posts: 18 Member
Confession time: yesterday I on my way into the grocery store there was a display of bags of organic popcorn & cheese popcorn. I looked at the calories & serving size of each & decided to buy the bag of regular Organic Popcorn. I went about the rest of my shopping.
When I got to the car I had the urge to toss the popcorn into the front seat so I could eat some on my way home. Then it hit me, I should not have bought this. This is the kind of item I said I would give up for the 90 Day Challenge. I kept the bag in the back of the car (mini NSV because my habit is to eat this kind of stuff on my drive home). The whole drive home I battled w/what to do...to eat or not to eat, that was the question. In my 'twisted' mind I ended up justifying why I could eat it: whole grains, not more than 5 ingredients (trying to eat more unprocessed foods), weigh out a serving.
I got home, made & ate my salad for lunch & tried to quell the voices (it's in the pantry, eat it, just a serving, etc). So I did. I ate a serving & logged it. But the flood gates were opened & I then proceeded to finish the bag.
Then the voices changed to: 'how could I do that, the scale was showing improvement, you had such a fierce workout this morning to go & undo it all'.
The other mini NSV was that I went back into my food diary & logged it. But it doesn't make up for eating the whole bag, for breaking my pledge to the challenge. I had said that if I wanted something like this that I'd have to buy the ingredients & make it myself. I lied to myself yesterday I said popcorn didn't fall into that category but today, I know it does.
Anyway, there it is. I learned something. When that little voice suggests/whispers that this might be a food that I'm going to have a problem having only one serving of, LISTEN TO THAT VOICE. Not the louder, more forceful voice that tries to suggest that I'll be able to handle it because, this early in my journey, I can't.
When I got to the car I had the urge to toss the popcorn into the front seat so I could eat some on my way home. Then it hit me, I should not have bought this. This is the kind of item I said I would give up for the 90 Day Challenge. I kept the bag in the back of the car (mini NSV because my habit is to eat this kind of stuff on my drive home). The whole drive home I battled w/what to do...to eat or not to eat, that was the question. In my 'twisted' mind I ended up justifying why I could eat it: whole grains, not more than 5 ingredients (trying to eat more unprocessed foods), weigh out a serving.
I got home, made & ate my salad for lunch & tried to quell the voices (it's in the pantry, eat it, just a serving, etc). So I did. I ate a serving & logged it. But the flood gates were opened & I then proceeded to finish the bag.
Then the voices changed to: 'how could I do that, the scale was showing improvement, you had such a fierce workout this morning to go & undo it all'.
The other mini NSV was that I went back into my food diary & logged it. But it doesn't make up for eating the whole bag, for breaking my pledge to the challenge. I had said that if I wanted something like this that I'd have to buy the ingredients & make it myself. I lied to myself yesterday I said popcorn didn't fall into that category but today, I know it does.
Anyway, there it is. I learned something. When that little voice suggests/whispers that this might be a food that I'm going to have a problem having only one serving of, LISTEN TO THAT VOICE. Not the louder, more forceful voice that tries to suggest that I'll be able to handle it because, this early in my journey, I can't.
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Anyway, there it is. I learned something. When that little voice suggests/whispers that this might be a food that I'm going to have a problem having only one serving of, LISTEN TO THAT VOICE. Not the louder, more forceful voice that tries to suggest that I'll be able to handle it because, this early in my journey, I can't.
Nice work in being accountable and being aware of your limitations. For me, it's drinks - soft drinks, cordial, milk drinks, anything that isn't tea, coffee or water.... I can't have one sip, it's nothing or everything. Today, I was craving so badly I ended up making an 'iced coffee' with brewed coffee, 100mL of milk and half a dozen ice cubes all mixed up which felt like a failure psychologically, if not in terms of calories. I do genuinely believe that some of it is an actual addiction - physiological and psychological components and everything - and some is just habit. I think that if we can break the habit, we can beat the addiction. Congrats on your epiphany - I think it's the first step, being self aware. You may have fallen down, honey, but you sound like you're well on your way to being back on your feet.
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Anyway, there it is. I learned something. When that little voice suggests/whispers that this might be a food that I'm going to have a problem having only one serving of, LISTEN TO THAT VOICE. Not the louder, more forceful voice that tries to suggest that I'll be able to handle it because, this early in my journey, I can't.
You may have fallen down, honey, but you sound like you're well on your way to being back on your feet.
:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:0 -
You so describe me as I to often go through the same thing over again especially when you start seeing results. Today I weighed my self as I like to gage my self for the weekend as I usually get to do an extra something to allow an healthy treat like fruit put through my yonanas machine. I also am in a weigh in group that weighs Mondays to hopefully keep me on track. But I know me my biggest challenge is when I see the results I start justifying that it is okay to reward myself and I can't stop at one. So hard I know.
I am really nervous for this weekend as I am on a day trip to Calgary for hockey and wont get back to late so I have to pack everything or find a place where I know the calories. I also am not sure if I can work out tomorrow as I usually do it have to work, but tomorrow I will have to get up early yikes.
I understand what you went through yesterday, if I can give you any support I can. At least you realize it.
My goal is to help avoid this is to learn the calories before I eat put it in MFP so that it fits in with my eating plan for the day, than I know if I can eat it.0 -
Can't always be good.... Everyone will have their days where they just want that ONE thing! If you have the calories avaiable have a SERVING but just that one serving and log it in.... You will be surprised how many of us do it BUT dont count it in our calories...0
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Thanks everyone! Glad you're here and I appreciate your support!!
Coolchick, I am back on my feet!
jocop, I totally understand your fear about being removed from your environment and your routine. Good luck!! Post during your trip if you can to let us know how it's going.
lilmidnight, I am a pro at lying to myself about what I ate. Then I saw this quote: "Your body keeps an accurate journal regardless of what you write down." And I thought, 'ain't it the truth!!' So part of this 90 day challenge, for me, is to be honest in my food diary. Once I start forgetting this or that, it's a slippery slope.0 -
I think of that louder inner voice as my inner child, and when I'm too tired, too hungry, or too stressed, she turns into a real brat. Sometimes it helps me to ask myself if I would give in to a whiny three year old on whatever I'm trying to justify. If the answer is "No!" It helps me to regain control.
Great job on going back and logging!0 -
That's interesting, Spambo. Thanks, I'll remember that.0
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First off I commend you on "confessing" lol!!! Secondly, good for you for deciding to log it. We all have days like this. And I swear I hate that little voice. I just had some tostitios and took everything within me not to eat more than one serving. And I do mean EVERYTHING in me. There's always the next day. You dust yourself and move on. Proud of you!!!0
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It happens...but if it's just one mistake in a day, it can be ironed out over the week, I'm sure. Treat it like you would money credit: pay it off over the next few days by throwing an extra 5-15 minutes on a few workouts, or go for a few extra walks in the evenings.
I think that's the benefit of this journaling thing. I've never done it before, and it really makes you accountable for every little morsel (my weakness is gas station/convenience stores and their fried foods, candies, and sunflower seeds.) It's like you said: it's really easy to lie/justify snacking in your head. "Oh it's just X. It's not even that bad for you." But then, at the end of they day, when we've run over budget by 300-400 calories, all those little "just X"s are added up, and it's right there in black in white why we're over, which hopefully makes us think twice about trying to fool ourselves like that in the future.
Good job spotting/checking it!0 -
If you love popcorn, buy some kernels and some brown paper lunch bags and make your own in the microwave.
remember, when you have fallen, the only way to go is right back up 0 -
I think of that louder inner voice as my inner child, and when I'm too tired, too hungry, or too stressed, she turns into a real brat. Sometimes it helps me to ask myself if I would give in to a whiny three year old on whatever I'm trying to justify. If the answer is "No!" It helps me to regain control.
This is a really excellent way to look at the situation. I often excuse little "treats" that end up more and more constant until I'm "treating" myself all the time! Just because I *want* something doesn't mean I *need* it or *should* have it.0 -
thanks again everyone!!
i've been kind of in a "blue" place these last couple of days (for no particular reason) so i struggled with simply journaling everyday; although it wasn't pretty. starting to feel like myself again, thankfully.
dusted myself off, bought a new tube of lipstick, and continue on with my journey!!0
