I used to be that way also, I put out there that I was secure and beautiful even when I weighed 235 pounds, but I knew that it was fake. I also would not even go out without make up on. But now, whole different story. I look in the mirror and tell myself. "you did great with what was given you". I also now, know I do not need to worry about what others think of me. I KNOW who I am. It is too easy to want someone else body, life, money etc, but in reality we don't know what they might be struggling with. It is hard to learn to accept ourselves no matter what our circumstances, but we must! You just never know when someone might wish they were YOU! So go to the nearest mirror, stare yourself in the face and say' I AM awesome, one of a kind and it does not matter what my outside body looks like, what matters is the wonderful spirit inside"! Geez, now I sound as if I am conceited, don't I? Well maybe I am. lol took me many years to get to this point.