Something I've been working on in my road to recovery is differentiating between overeating and binging. Overeating isn't ideal, but it happens, and it's something normal eaters do. Binging, however, is disordered behavior. It's inevitable that everyone will overeat at some point (hello Christmas, Thanksgiving, birthdays, etc!), but the problem for me is that overeating leads to binging. I'm learning to accept situations where I've overeaten and try to stop things there before it becomes an all out binge (I've seen people on MFP refer to an extra slice of cake, or a handful of jelly beans as a binge - for me a binge goes way beyond that both in terms of quantity and the bloating/guilt/hungover feeling that accompanies it).

This came up for me on Saturday. I'd been doing well all month - no binges! But also no overeating. While this was great, it also made me nervous, because I knew it was inevitable that I'd face a situation where I'd overeat and I was scared whether I'd be able to stop things before it became a binge. On Saturday I was really sluggish and incredibly hungry (not binge/craving hungry, but my body desperately needs energy hungry). I wasn't surprised, I knew I hadn't been eating enough calories overall and definitely not enough carbs to adequately fuel my intense work/training/pace of life. So I made a conscious decision to let myself eat more than usual, even if it meant going over my calories for the day for the first time all month. My thinking was that I want this to be a sustainable lifestyle change, and if I keep depriving myself it won't be and I'll go straight back to binging twice a week and struggling with obsessive thoughts about food all day. I did overeat -4500 calories for the day, over twice my usual! - but I tried to choose healthier foods (apples, microwave popcorn, extra salad at lunch, raw cashews). And while 4500 is a TON of calories, that's much better than a true binge for me, and the fact that I logged everything and got in a good workout kept me from feeling out of control. Because unlike a true binge, I wasn't eating mindlessly (I was actually very aware of everything I ate and had given myself permission to eat every single bite), and I was eating because I was legitimately very, very hungry. I didn't eat sugar - in fact I passed up the big plate of cookies and the bread at lunch in favor of more salad and carrot soup - so it didn't feel like an out-of-control binge. It felt physiologically driven, like my body telling me I need to up my carbs and overall calories if I want to make this sustainable (which I knew, but after some initial success it was so tempting to push it just a bit further to try to speed up results. Lesson learned: this is a lifestyle change, not a quick fix). The next day I went to a brunch buffet with friends - usually those are a disaster for me, and I did indulge but again, it could've been so much worse. I was so tempted just to give in and take the weekend off tracking, but I didn't. I stayed under my calorie goal for the day (barely). It was really hard to get back on track, but I'm back, and I think even stronger than before now that I survived my first setback.

So I can't decide whether to count this as a binge... it was almost more of a "cheat" day (those don't work for me in theory but I really felt I needed it Saturday). Definitely overeating, and I hope not to repeat it any time soon, but in a way it was almost a relief. I can overeat without sinking to the depths of my previous binges. I did learn an important lesson about giving my body adequate nutrition. I can stray from the path without giving into all-or-nothing thinking. I need to make 8 hours of sleep a priority so I don't set myself up to be so exhausted and desperate for energy, and so I don't miss my workouts like I did Friday and Sunday where I was just too exhausted to go to the gym.

So I probably didn't lose this weekend, but I don't think I did too much damage, and in fact I think the lessons I learned will be even better for me in the long run (I hope!).

How do you all deal with overeating? Do you think overeating is different than binging? Curious to hear your thoughts!