If I can't accpt you at your worst ...

Replies

  • Trueray
    Trueray Posts: 1,189 Member
    Interesting Read!
  • flimflamfloz
    flimflamfloz Posts: 1,980 Member
    Those who say this kind of crap deserve to die alone or with the worst partner - they called it upon themselves.
    There are people out there with who spending my (precious) time is infinitely more rewarding than spending time with "difficult people".

    In the end however, people who can say this have got something else, something that gives them enough pulling power to keep someone around even when they are difficult to handle in the first place... Beauty, perhaps money, or sometimes genius.
  • JanieJack
    JanieJack Posts: 3,831 Member
    Just depends on what you want.

    Was at lunch with two guy friends the other day. One (overweight, health problems, out of a job, still lives with his mom in his late 30s, very loud and opinionated, but still a nice guy) expressed frustration that all the girls liked the other guy (good-looking military officer, nice guy who always pays for everyone).

    The military guy can say a quote like that, mean it, and get away with it. The other guy, though, needs to realize that he doesn't bring enough to the table to overcome his faults with the demographic he is trying to attract (late 20s young 30s). Like Florian said, people who say this and still end up with someone do so because there's still some benefit.

    I can apply this to my life... I guess I was more like the overweight overbearing guy (except I had too good a job, which apparently can turn men off too). There is a lot about me that turns men off. Most of it I wasn't willing to change on because at the end of the day I want to be comfortable in my own home. But there were two one BIG things I had to change, and am glad I did:

    The first was I had to change was to lose a little weight. People don't like to hear that, but it made a huge difference in how often I got asked out. I don't think my personality changed that significantly with that weight drop because I used to be very confident and didn't realize how big I was til I lost the weight and people started telling me. (nowadays I totally freak out if I gain -as some of you on MFP have seen - because of this reason! now I know what people thought of me when I was heavier and it kills me to think they feel that way again)

    The other thing I had to change was I had to stop biting everyone's head off all the time. Funny how just that one change - even though I didn't change my opinions, just changed how and when I expressed them - made a HUGE difference in how many repeat dates I got.
  • Tube_socks
    Tube_socks Posts: 808 Member
    I want someone to accept me for me. And I have flaws. I fail. I can be selfish at times. I have horrible PMS. I can be annoying.
    But, I never feel entitled to be a b!tch or purposely hurt my loved ones. I'm human and I mess up. I am humble and have no problem apologizing.
    So yes, I want someone that can "handle" me, good and bad, but my sole purpose in being a partner TO someone is to make him happy. I genuinely get off making my man happy. The day I no longer can, then he can let me go. And vice versa.

    Only you know when you are being "bad" just because and only you know when you make real mistakes. Hopefully you're mature enough to be true not only to yourself but to your partner.
  • moya_rargh
    moya_rargh Posts: 1,473 Member
    If you think it's ok to show me your worst, then I'll show you mine.
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,329 Member
    I think it depends on how often someone is at their worse (im talking personality traits). If someone is constantly on their worse behavior then there's no way id want to be with them.
  • MissingMinnesota
    MissingMinnesota Posts: 7,486 Member
    I hate this quote just as much as "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels". You have to look at the person saying it. Marilyn Monroe was a sex symbol movie star and you know what 99.999999999% of other people are not that.
  • adiostrasero
    adiostrasero Posts: 127 Member
    Interesting read. I definitely think that part of being in a relationship means you will see the other person at their worst. I also think that some people take the "at my worst" sentiment too far and use it as an excuse to be a jerk all the time because they're "worth it." Nothing gives you the right to disrespect other people, even if you are in a bad mood.
  • LoggingForLife
    LoggingForLife Posts: 504 Member
    Great article. That was the anthem of an abusive person from my past....if you don't like it, leave, this is me. I took him up on his offer to leave and he was so offended that I wouldn't accept the bad with the good. He believed his awesomeness would make up for the bad. Ummmmm, no. Thanks anyway.
  • farmers_daughter
    farmers_daughter Posts: 1,632 Member
    I say that I'm real. Alot of people have never met a "real" person. And that's ok, it's not thier fault but if you can't handle "real" then I'm sorry it won't work.

    I have all of the god given abilities, such as crying, having anger, having physical emotions.... just like any man....he has those abilities, they tend to have a negative conotation to them becuase so many people abuse those abilities.

    On one hand I do believe crying is blackmail. But for those of us that cry because it's an emotion that becomes physically apparent.... it means we are now "using" it.

    Oy....
    I'm just now learning to be selfish, and that sometimes selfish is a good thing. It's a healthy thing.... ahhhh!! I know that's not what is referred to here but I have to tell myself again! As a reminder. :flowerforyou: