VSGers

Join

Stigma

Options
mellowdeezer
mellowdeezer Posts: 15 Member
in Social Groups
In one of my Master's program classes last night (Healthcare Administration), a girl was complaining about how someone at work told her she was getting the lapband surgery. She said she asked the lady if she had tried fixing her lifestyle issues first. I was sitting behind her and wanted to say something but I didn't. The majority of the class seemed to encourage her sense of judgement and it seem this type of elective procedure is looked upon as an added exacerbation of over-utilization of healthcare as being part of our deficit issues the US. Just made me a bit mad, feeling judged...and I know that I will not be sharing my decision for this surgery with just anyone.

Replies

  • reisu
    reisu Posts: 16
    Options
    That's true, but the way I look at it is like this:

    Opinions are like *kitten*. Everybody's got one and everyone thinks everyone else's stinks.

    My choices are my own, and reasons aside, what anyone else thinks/says/pontificates over how much this 'all could have been avoided' is irrelevant.
  • DJRonnieLINY
    DJRonnieLINY Posts: 475 Member
    Options
    Does this classmate have the same opinion about Bypass surgery or Joint Replacements? How about costs associated with Diabeties or High Blood pressure? How about costs associate with smokers? Economically, patients who have WLS end up costing thier insurance carrier LESS than they would have had they remained obese. Insurance carriers have made this judgement and are more readily accepting of WLS as a valid option.

    I would take up that argument in class and challange anyone to oppose.
  • capecodgirl50
    capecodgirl50 Posts: 111 Member
    Options
    THAT IS AN EXAMPLE OF WHY I AM NOT SAYING TO MUCH. ONLY TO MY CLOSE FRIENDS OF WHICH I HAVE CHOSEN JUST A COUPLE OF THEM.

    THIS IS A DECISION THAT IS PRIVATE TO ME. SOMETHING THAT WILL (BECAUSE IT IS A TOOL) HELP ME NOT GET DIABETES OR HEART PROBLEMS.

    I BELIEVE THE STIGMA IS STILL THERE. UNFORTUNATELY.
  • belledebut
    belledebut Posts: 10
    Options
    OMG The stigma is SO real! That is why I am so selective in who I am telling. They do not understand that this is a tool and not the "easy" way out. It is hard freaking work.

    But the stigma against bigger people is there in general. We all do not have to be a size 2. Hell, I have no desire to ever be under a 8/10 honestly. People can be idiots. Let them talk while you get more healthy.
  • cadyhouse
    cadyhouse Posts: 17
    Options
    That must have been so terribly uncomfortable for you! I wonder how the discussion would have gone had you spoken up about your decision. Would it have been an opportunity to educate the class, force a bit of empathy, or simply an invitation to pile on more censure? Sadly, there is no way to know. As we have learned, through years and years of social training, judging the overweight is accepted and often encouraged in society. If some of these individuals, who are so quick to judge without any facts or real knowledge of serious weight struggle, could walk a mile or two in our doublewide mossasins, I imagine their tunes would change.

    You have your reasons for the decisions you have made and there is no need to broadcast them. As they start to notice your body change, and ask how you did it...make up a name for a very exclusive weight loss "miracle drug" and I bet every one will want to know how to get their hands on it. The ridiculous miracle drug will be so much more acceptable to them than the very real tool that you chose. Practice your "Mona Lisa Smile" as you will need it as you walk away!
  • Mangopickle
    Mangopickle Posts: 1,509 Member
    Options
    It is easy to be critical of others if you never take a cold hard look at your own problems. Not all addictions or character flaws are so visible as food. I have a favorite story I like to tell about a family member-one of those practically perfect family members who was a gifted learner and always so quick to point out your flaws. Our family likes to snow ski and of course from her point of view if we could do it she could learn too. She was a great tennis player and very fit. HOWEVER, she did not easily learn how to snow ski. It rapidly became apparent that she would not be a gifted learner in snow skiing like she was in so many aspects of her life. Rapidly she decided that she didn't like snow skiing and was ready to quit. Woohoo did we have fun. We teased her mercilessly. Saying "Welcome to our world where it doesn't come easy and you have to gut it out and learn with sweat and perseverance" "Better to be a slow learner than a quitter who only sticks to what comes easy" We were very proud of her in the end. Her pride wouldn't let her give up after that. She became quite a respectable snow skier and was ever after not quite so quick to judge someone who was struggling with things in life that she herself found easy. I have seen many a skinny girl criticize a fat girl for overeating as she herself was in a shoestore buying yet another pair of shoes she did not need nor could afford. The point is we all live in glass houses :)
  • mellowdeezer
    mellowdeezer Posts: 15 Member
    Options
    Thank for your input... At least if it comes up again and I feel like speaking up, I will have some good valid points to make!! ;)
  • mellowdeezer
    mellowdeezer Posts: 15 Member
    Options
    It is easy to be critical of others if you never take a cold hard look at your own problems. Not all addictions or character flaws are so visible as food. I have a favorite story I like to tell about a family member-one of those practically perfect family members who was a gifted learner and always so quick to point out your flaws. Our family likes to snow ski and of course from her point of view if we could do it she could learn too. She was a great tennis player and very fit. HOWEVER, she did not easily learn how to snow ski. It rapidly became apparent that she would not be a gifted learner in snow skiing like she was in so many aspects of her life. Rapidly she decided that she didn't like snow skiing and was ready to quit. Woohoo did we have fun. We teased her mercilessly. Saying "Welcome to our world where it doesn't come easy and you have to gut it out and learn with sweat and perseverance" "Better to be a slow learner than a quitter who only sticks to what comes easy" We were very proud of her in the end. Her pride wouldn't let her give up after that. She became quite a respectable snow skier and was ever after not quite so quick to judge someone who was struggling with things in life that she herself found easy. I have seen many a skinny girl criticize a fat girl for overeating as she herself was in a shoestore buying yet another pair of shoes she did not need nor could afford. The point is we all live in glass houses :)

    THIS STORY MADE ME LAUGH OUT LOUD!!! LOVED IT! Thanks for sharing. -Mel
  • MyOwnSunshine
    MyOwnSunshine Posts: 1,312 Member
    Options
    In one of my Master's program classes last night (Healthcare Administration), a girl was complaining about how someone at work told her she was getting the lapband surgery. She said she asked the lady if she had tried fixing her lifestyle issues first. I was sitting behind her and wanted to say something but I didn't. The majority of the class seemed to encourage her sense of judgement and it seem this type of elective procedure is looked upon as an added exacerbation of over-utilization of healthcare as being part of our deficit issues the US. Just made me a bit mad, feeling judged...and I know that I will not be sharing my decision for this surgery with just anyone.

    I actually love it when things like this happen. I am three years out from surgery and many people that I know casually at work and school have no idea that I used to be overweight or that I had WLS. (I have been open and honest from the get-go, so anyone who knew me at the time of surgery knows.)

    I like to let people run their mouths and badmouth WLS, and then inform them that I had it. I also like to tell them how much I work out, how much I squat and deadlift, how often I run, how I track my calories every day, and how healthy I am. I f**king double-love it when I'm wearing shorts or a tank top when this happens, so they can check out the cut muscles in my arms and legs. LOL
  • emmerin78
    emmerin78 Posts: 311 Member
    Options
    In one of my Master's program classes last night (Healthcare Administration), a girl was complaining about how someone at work told her she was getting the lapband surgery. She said she asked the lady if she had tried fixing her lifestyle issues first. I was sitting behind her and wanted to say something but I didn't. The majority of the class seemed to encourage her sense of judgement and it seem this type of elective procedure is looked upon as an added exacerbation of over-utilization of healthcare as being part of our deficit issues the US. Just made me a bit mad, feeling judged...and I know that I will not be sharing my decision for this surgery with just anyone.

    I actually love it when things like this happen. I am three years out from surgery and many people that I know casually at work and school have no idea that I used to be overweight or that I had WLS. (I have been open and honest from the get-go, so anyone who knew me at the time of surgery knows.)

    I like to let people run their mouths and badmouth WLS, and then inform them that I had it. I also like to tell them how much I work out, how much I squat and deadlift, how often I run, how I track my calories every day, and how healthy I am. I f**king double-love it when I'm wearing shorts or a tank top when this happens, so they can check out the cut muscles in my arms and legs. LOL

    Exactly, Sunshine. People are so quick to judge what they don't know or understand - it's very easy to judge fat people when you've never been one and don't struggle with addiction issues. Good on ya for doing all the hard work to get yourself to where you are today; one of the things I'm most amused by is when people hear the protocol I had to go through just to get the surgery and how much time I devote to planning my meals, working out, etc. now. They're shocked to discover that it's not the quick fix they assumed it to be.
  • DJRonnieLINY
    DJRonnieLINY Posts: 475 Member
    Options
    Nailed it Sunshine!
  • garber6th
    garber6th Posts: 1,894 Member
    Options
    I feel that being more open about having surgery can help lessen the stigma attached to it. If people ask me how I lost weight, I let them know that I have done a lot of mental and physical work, including surgery. I want to let people know I had it because I think when people realize they actually know someone who had WLS, they might be more understanding and less judgmental of the process, the procedure, and why people make that choice. I don't necessarily feel I should have to educate the masses about it, or be the WLS spokesperson, but I have no problem sharing my experiences.
  • JxAAA
    JxAAA Posts: 87 Member
    Options
    I think the average uninformed person thinks if you have WLS the weight just magically falls out without any effort, hence why they equate it to cheating or the "easy way out". By no means is it easy. Your mental issues connected to food don't just go away with surgery. It's a lifelong strong before and after surgery.

    It's easy to tell a smoker, a drug addict or an alcoholic to just make some lifestyle changes and stop. Do people consider the patch, nicotine replacements, rehab cheating? Or the easy way out?

    The goal is to get healthy and use whatever means available to reach your goal. It's human nature to find alternate methods to get there. My guess is most people use elevators or escalators right? Is that cheating because they didn't use the steps? Elevators/Escalators can be a very taxing energy source, it's better on the environment if we took stairs. :happy:

Categories