pa_jorg Posts: 4,404 Member
Link to article pasted below: http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2014/02/05/singles-dating-spending-sex/5068123/
Spending on dates or to find a date averages $61.53 a month or $738.36 a year, according to a survey that shows what singles, ages 18 and older, think and do.

Singles spend an average of about $60 a month, or $738 a year per person, on dating-related activities to find a special someone, according to a survey out today that asked about sex, relationships, dating behavior and what's OK in a relationship.

The spending includes money either spent on dates or to find dates — with cash toward food, drinks, event tickets, admission fees, clubs, hobbies and religious activities. Some singles also spend money on more focused efforts to meet someone, such as online dating sites, matchmakers and dating coaches, says a nationally representative survey of more than 5,000 singles ages 18 and older, for the Dallas-based dating website Match.com.

"I go out in a dating way four nights a week, minimum," says Peter Doggett, 29, a regional director for an academic company in New York City. He was not part of the survey.

He says he spends "at least $500, if not $1,000 a month" to socialize — but doesn't pay for online dating sites, matchmaking or similar services — he says he just uses free dating apps.

MORE: Live video chats latest online dating trend

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MORE: What singles want in a partner

This fourth annual survey, provided exclusively to USA TODAY, asked 137 questions about dating, relationships and sex, including "How much money do you spend on your dating life (seeking dates and on dates) per month?"

Like Doggett, many singles aren't spending a lot on dating-related services — the average in the survey was just $5.69 a month, compared with $55.84 spent on going out and socializing. Of those surveyed, 88% spent nothing on more focused dating efforts and 38% spent nothing on dating-related activities.

Still, the survey estimates that with more than 100 million single adults in the USA (according to 2013 Census data) singles' dating-related spending totals more than $80 billion a year.

Still, the monthly amount most singles spend is low, says anthropologist Helen Fisher of Rutgers University, who helped Match.com develop the survey.

"A lot of singles are not dating at all," she says. "I suspect that all of these singles who are not dating are radically reducing the average dollars spent on dating" that the survey found.

Among other survey findings:

• 20% of singles say having sex on a first date is either "somewhat appropriate" or "very appropriate" but 80% disagreed. Of that 80%, 54% said sex on a first date is "not at all appropriate."

• 54% of singles think a good first date should last from two to four hours; 43% say one to two hours; just 3% say five or more hours.

• 40% of women and 48% of men say they have sent a sexually explicit text message; 36% of women and 35% of men have sent a sexy photo of themselves in a text message.

• 31% of singles say they have had a one-night stand turn into a committed relationship; 28% of singles have had a "friends with benefits" relationship turn into commitment.

• 15% of men and 12% of women say they'd ideally want to have sex every day; all ages agree that two to three times a week is ideal.

The comprehensive survey, conducted by Research Now, a market research company based in Dallas, offers a broad look at the minds of today's singles and shows they are an accepting bunch — up to a point.

A majority say some relationships that once were considered taboo are "fine" — including interracial marriage (86%), interfaith marriage (80%) and same-sex marriage (65%). A majority also say other relationship choices once deemed unacceptable are "fine," such as long-term partners living together without marriage (76%) and having children outside wedlock (53%).

But some things are "not fine" — such as sexually open marriages (in which partners agree that each may have extramarital sexual relationships); married couples sleeping in different bedrooms; married couples living in different homes and long-distance marriages in general.

"Everything that is 'not fine' has one element in common: a disruption of that profound connection," Fisher says.

Los Angeles single Gabrielle Schacher, 31, an actor, says the responses make sense to her.

"In a marriage, it's inevitable you're going to grow — either together or apart," says Schacher, who did not participate in the survey. "If you're trying to make a marriage work, you're more likely to grow apart if you're living in a separate place."

Clinical psychologist Wendy Walsh of Los Angeles, who also wasn't involved with the survey, says findings seem to "correlate with all the research that shows people want bonded relationships that are based on love and healthy attachment."

"While they may be shirking cultural convention, they still want love," she says. "They still want a secure attachment and they have a healthy notion of what attachment should be."

Anyone keep track of how much they spend on dating?


  • MissingMinnesota
    MissingMinnesota Posts: 7,486 Member
    well right now I am spending a big whooping $0 a month on dating because I am not dating but would not want to add up what I spend on socializing.
  • Moe4572
    Moe4572 Posts: 1,430 Member
    I was stuck on four dates a week...........yikes! if ll different , how would you ever keep all those people straight?
  • farmers_daughter
    farmers_daughter Posts: 1,632 Member
    Ha Ha love this....part of the reason why I dumped his poor *kitten*. I got tired of paying for everything every single time we went out.

    Well....over a 4 year period I loaned him $3000.00, then add all the dates and crap on top of that. Ummm.... I'ma be single for a while longer. :)
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,064 Member
    $0 dollars here. Haven't been on a date in two years.
  • Quasita
    Quasita Posts: 1,530 Member
    I can't even imagine bothering going on that many dates a week. It's not like I'm not "into" the scene, I just am more frugal than that I guess!
  • Cameron_1969
    Cameron_1969 Posts: 2,857 Member
    Up until a few weeks ago. . About $80 per first and last date? Whatever dinner and a couple drinks runs. .

    But I'm sick of online dating. . I think i need to meet someone THEN get to know them rather than the other way around (as it is with online dating). .
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,326 Member
    Up until a few weeks ago. . About $80 per first and last date? Whatever dinner and a couple drinks runs. .

    But I'm sick of online dating. . I think i need to meet someone THEN get to know them rather than the other way around (as it is with online dating). .

    $80 seems feasible, even for people who are paying for dates (ie certain women) if you take into account $ spent on manicures, pedicures, new dresses or shoes, hair stylist etc.

    as i'm sure there are guys who think "ugh i spent $ on this?!?" as much as there are women who think "i got my hair and nails done for this?!?!?".

    and yeah i agree with you about being over online dating.
  • maria1113
    maria1113 Posts: 508 Member
    Well I haven't been dating since 2009 and even then I paid my half. I have never had anyone paying for me, always went dutch :smile:
  • flimflamfloz
    flimflamfloz Posts: 1,980 Member
    But I'm sick of online dating. . I think i need to meet someone THEN get to know them rather than the other way around (as it is with online dating). .
    It's funny actually you are saying that, when I remember that 10 years ago people were praising online dating for this very same reason ("you get to know people... so you know there is a degree of compatibility before you meet them").

    Now I'd generally agree with you there, that dating/finding a partner is a lot more than a clinical match of interests (although it definitely helps starting a conversation).
    Seeing people in the flesh is definitely still up there in the dating process.

    I find the thing that works the best for me is to go out to activities I am interested in and talk to people there.

    Online dating has changed, and I think has lost a bit of its innocence. People are more cynical and demanding now, they also know there are "always other opportunities", try to appear as good as they can as opposed to as true as they can, etc.
    It all makes sense and I understand the reasons, but I think the early days of online dating were a bit simpler (when people were still trying to find their mark).
  • JanieJack
    JanieJack Posts: 3,831 Member
    I was stuck on four dates a week...........yikes! if ll different , how would you ever keep all those people straight?

    Easy. Word docs. For each of the guys I made a word doc with their pic, profiles, important emails, and a running log of our dates and phone convos. I had a blackberry back then, so it was easy to synch that up with my contacts and review them before meeting in person. You can get apps or (before apps were popular there's some guy that created a subscription website - girlkeeper or something like that) to do this but my word docs worked out just fine. The reality is, you're not going to go out more than 1-2 times with most of these folks anyway. Once you meet in person you'll realize either they weren't who they said they'd be or they just aren't compatible.

    Yes, I kept track of how much I spent on dates because it was budgeted - about $150-250/month depending on the month...mainly for childcare (I rarely paid for the actual date). The first time online, I spent even more including hair/nails/new clothes, but this last go I didn't even do that: I knew most of the guys wouldn't be worth it and also because too many guys made mean comments about the difference from my "just got home from my military job" look and my "dolled up to go out" look that I pretty much went on first dates looking like I just got home from work.

    At $10-20/hour, my childcare budget didn't go far... so for most of my dates we either did lunch dates or early dinner dates since my son's daycare lasted til 6:30 pm...also weird times when my son had youth events or gatherings (like church function where I finally met BB in person) where my son's care was provided by the event. And when my "date budget" was gone, I stopped accepting invitations that would have required childcare.

    I had many weeks with 2 dates the same week. There was one week where I had 4 (3 first dates + 1 repeat) were two lunches, an early dinner, and then BB took me on our 2nd evening date. Those word docs was REALLY handy that week.
  • dbrightwell1270
    dbrightwell1270 Posts: 1,732 Member
    $738.36 on finding a relationship is child's play compared to what you'll pay after you find it. I just went to Walt Disney World with my girlfriend. I am pretty sure I spent more than that last week. She probably did too.