Awkward Moments in Weight Loss
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garber6th
Posts: 1,894 Member
I posted this in the Gastric Bypass/Lap Band group, but I am posting it here too -
This past weekend I had some weird things happen to me - First, I saw one of my neighbors who I hadn't seen since New Year's Day. She was being really sweet and complimentary about my weight loss, but then she was asking questions like, how much do you weight now, what size are you, how much more do you want to lose, etc, then she said, "Turn around so I can see your *kitten*". Huh?
Then - I was doing laundry at my other neighbor's house. I was bent over getting my clothes out of the washer, and when I stood up, she said, I hardly knew that was you, bend over again. ?!?!
I was talking to my younger sister about this and she said, If you are or ever were fat, your body is considered by many to be open to inspection and critique. I think she is right, and I think this might even apply more to people who have had surgery. I do get a lot of comments, whether I ask for them or not. In a way it makes me feel a little more self conscious than I did before I lost weight. Do any of you feel this way?
This past weekend I had some weird things happen to me - First, I saw one of my neighbors who I hadn't seen since New Year's Day. She was being really sweet and complimentary about my weight loss, but then she was asking questions like, how much do you weight now, what size are you, how much more do you want to lose, etc, then she said, "Turn around so I can see your *kitten*". Huh?
Then - I was doing laundry at my other neighbor's house. I was bent over getting my clothes out of the washer, and when I stood up, she said, I hardly knew that was you, bend over again. ?!?!
I was talking to my younger sister about this and she said, If you are or ever were fat, your body is considered by many to be open to inspection and critique. I think she is right, and I think this might even apply more to people who have had surgery. I do get a lot of comments, whether I ask for them or not. In a way it makes me feel a little more self conscious than I did before I lost weight. Do any of you feel this way?
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I think your friends / neighbors mean no harm. They probably wanted to ask but were not sure how to approach the topic. Many times this leads people to use humor (although sometimes crude). Try to take it as a compliment and not read into it so much. You look great - that is the ultimate point they are making!! I am 2 years out and still feel strange when people compliment me. Many years of low self esteem (or false self esteem) have left me feeling more sensitive to those types of compliment and comments. Eventually you grow to love your new body and accept that people will see changes.
:flowerforyou:0 -
Well it does seem that your neighbors have been studying your *kitten* for years. LOL. I say "Good For You!". You are working very hard to make yourself healthier and fitter and it's showing. Feel proud and if it's looking good show it off!!!0
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I totally get that they are trying to be complimentary and supportive. I can definitely relate to what HMD said about years of low self esteem making me a little sensitive to the attention and comments!0
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This reminds me when my husband went to my dentist for the first time. My husband is from a big city, I was raised in a small town. He was completely taken aback that the dental hygienist knew everything about his life. Not thru me but from every member of my family that had been there for the last 2 yrs. These people have known us since childhood so who we are dating and marrying is completely fodder for gossip. After all in a small town there is never more than 1 degree of separation. Also in the South your neighbors are often given a little more latitude -even when they stray into private territory. Major wt loss is is just one of those things that is going to cause major speculation. I know I was extremely inquisitive to all of the people I met who had had wt loss surgery before me. I am sure I was guilty of asking for too much information. I would just enjoy the fact that your hard work has had such astonishing results that they just can't help themselves from pumping you for info.0
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You have more than likely noticed there are some people in the world are really interested in you and your life and others that just are nosy. It's similar to people who ask "How are you feeling? but don't really want to hear any answer other than fine or others that want every detail.
I expect that down the line as my weight loss really starts showing and people start commenting on I will give out the amount of information based on how close I am to that person.
Keep up the good work.0
