Question for all my trans friends
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SquidVonBob
Posts: 290 Member
Let me start out by saying I'm not transgender/transsexual and the last thing I want to do is offend anyone, so if anything I say is seen as offensive please let me know. Cool? Cool.
So I have a friend I went to school with. About two weeks ago he went to a convention where he said he met some really awesome trans people and talked with them. He came back from the con and decided this is what he was. Cool. More power to him. Now over the course of ten days he's changed his pronouns, name, started binding, and gave away all his female clothing. I'm a little confused by the suddenness of all this. We were both board member of the LGBT organization at our university and interacted with trans students on a weekly basis, his ex-boyfriend is also trans, so it's not like he had a sudden realization that this is a thing. I want to be as supportive as possible but I also know that transitioning can be a huge life changing process and I'm wondering if going from 0 to 60 in ten days is healthy. Especially in a home where you were already disowned one for being bi.
My question is: Is there such a thing as transitioning too fast?
Edited for spelling
So I have a friend I went to school with. About two weeks ago he went to a convention where he said he met some really awesome trans people and talked with them. He came back from the con and decided this is what he was. Cool. More power to him. Now over the course of ten days he's changed his pronouns, name, started binding, and gave away all his female clothing. I'm a little confused by the suddenness of all this. We were both board member of the LGBT organization at our university and interacted with trans students on a weekly basis, his ex-boyfriend is also trans, so it's not like he had a sudden realization that this is a thing. I want to be as supportive as possible but I also know that transitioning can be a huge life changing process and I'm wondering if going from 0 to 60 in ten days is healthy. Especially in a home where you were already disowned one for being bi.
My question is: Is there such a thing as transitioning too fast?
Edited for spelling
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Replies
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I knew being trans was a thing for years before I finally realized that I was. I tried taking it slow, and I know it works for some people, but personally I didn't feel happy until I jumped in feet first and made myself over all in one go, as it were. Taking it slow just made me feel even worse because I knew what I was unhappy with, but was trying to put off dealing with it. Given my mental state at the time, taking it slow was definitely the unhealthy option.
As for his family, it's not as though he doesn't know what he might be dealing with when it comes to them. It's his call to make. Taking it slow doesn't mean his family will be any happier about it; in my case, my parents essentially just stuck their fingers in their ears and ignored everything until I made it impossible for them to ignore. They still weren't happy, but it was better for me when they at least stopped pretending they didn't know.
Lastly, I really cannot emphasize enough that I think it would be a bad idea for you to talk to him in terms of it being unhealthy. It'll almost certainly make him defensive and likely to pull away, and if he does experience issues with his family like you're concerned, it's going to make him feel that much more isolated.
/my two cents0 -
I think for some there is a thing of transitioning too fast and for some there isn't, it's something you really need to sit and think about because it will make up quite a big bit of people's lives. Some people even detransition and go back in the end. What you want to do is support your friend but maybe every now and again ask them about it, ask himquestions which will make them think about it really hard but don't do this too often or be too invasive about it.
Only time will tell if they fit the FTM / Transmasculine label or maybe something else in the Trans* umbrella.
In all honestly though with family it is best that you take it slow rather than being in their face about it you know?
It would take them some time to accept if they would, considering someone had been disowned for being bi did you say?
If there's anything they want to talk to you about they probably will. Just be the best friend you can be and time will tell if this is the path for them, some people change from different lables until they find what fits. Even chosing a name is hard and could change so be open to what they have to say.0
