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timidunicorn
timidunicorn Posts: 8 Member
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this is kind of embarrassing to say but anonymity is helpful.

i have pretty bad body dysmorphia.
(among other mental illnesses but i wont get into them right now)
and my image of myself fluctuates drastically in just a matter of hours.
taking pictures with anyone makes me cry and panic.
i hate being seen in public. i get nervous and can't breathe if anyone stares at me too long.


but, i mean. it's not that i don't eat? but usually i fluctuate between binging for a day
and then not eating for like three days afterwards.

food makes me feel guilty. sometimes i cry after i eat because i feel so gross?
and after this pattern started, i dropped 35 - 40 pounds in a little less than three months.

but the thing is i'm really overweight.
my friend is concerned that i have an eating disorder but all i can think is
"i'm too fat to have an eating disorder"

....? yes? no? .__.

Replies

  • autumnlily31185
    autumnlily31185 Posts: 279 Member
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    I don't really have any real experience with the kind of things that you are going through. Although when I was younger I did have an eating disorder. I would suggest that you go and see if there is a someone that you can talk to about this. It does not matter how big or small you are, if you have this much trouble with food, then yes, you do have an eating disorder (IMO) You need to work through these issues so that you can focus on losing weight in a healthy manner that is sustainable for life and will make you happy.

    Hope that helps, I didn't want you to be left alone with no response at all
  • timidunicorn
    timidunicorn Posts: 8 Member
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    thank you for your nice response and for not leaving me completely alone with no reply. i really appreciate it. ♥
  • 98777
    98777 Posts: 108 Member
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    Oh my goodness, your profile. Please learn to love yourself more! :) The inside is what counts. But you can make the outside match what you want with time. So learn to like yourself now for non-physical attributes, so that when you reach goal weight, you'll already know your value.

    Yes, sounds like you could have some disordered eating. But with support and time, you can eat normally, healthily, with moderation, and not feel guilt. Then you can lose weight or whatever you may want.

    I would say good luck, but it's not luck that's needed, you can be the one to do it. :) I believe in you.
  • Etherlily1
    Etherlily1 Posts: 974 Member
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    I have an eating disorder and I am very overweight as you can see by the pic. I tend to restrict and purge. I don't usually binge, but by definition almost everyone has eaten more than 1,000 calories in one sitting in less than 2 hours, usually from eating out with friends.My purging tends to come in the form of overexercising. I oscillate between too much and too little as I am always afraid of a flair up with my eating disorder. I enjoy the sense of accomplishment from completing a workout and beating the numbers, but that is what it seems to be all about with me: numbers. The number on the scale, the number of calories (I am a walking calorie counter), duration & distance of exercise, the inches down to 1/16". Like most people with an eating disorder I can become obsessive about everything surround weight-loss. As I am too big to qualify for anorexia I have been diagnosed with EDNOS, eating disorder not otherwise specified where the majority of people end up who have an eating disorder. The risks for the behaviors are just as real as they are for anorexia and bulimia.

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