OK so who popped into my brain and found all my weaknesses??? I am slowly learning to manage most of these "problems"

I am going to share this here and I don't want to dwell on it, there are many of us in the same situation. Back in 2001 my first husband passed away - he had been a depression patient for a very long time - he passed after complications from heart surgery - let's just say it didn't happen in one day. Moving on.

When I emerged from this experience I was a fairly young widow, with a wonderful grown son. But I slowly, very slowly realized I had spent so much of my life putting other people ahead of me and my needs I had almost completely lost myself. During the darkest of my husband's illness I fed my loneliness with food -- it's amazing how lonely you can be with another human in the house. I fed myself up an over 300 pounds - I never weighed myself but I found a picture the other day and I am sure I had gone over 300. Anyways after a while I started to realize I needed to put myself first -- as I said to a few of my other widowed friends we needed to belong to the Church of Selfish - none of us had a selfish bone in our bodies. We will never learn to be mean selfish but we had to stop putting ourselves so low on the list behind everything else - even the dog (loved my doggie).

I am now married to a wonderful man that doesn't judge me or my size. He only gets mad if I don't eat enough especially enough of the right food. He keeps a stash of "stuff" out of my sight but if I want some dark chocolate he will bring it to me - no judgement. We are WORTH IT!!!!

Joanne

PS for a while if you don't mind can people sign with their real names (if they want) I am trying to get to know everyone and I am old so need all the help I can get. I will also post this under General Discussion.

OK - anyone who knows me knows how much I LOVE MY DOGS!
And your dogs...
And just about anybody else's dogs...

SO...here is a cute little website that shows babies and dogs...with a few kitties scattered in.

ENJOY!

http://hopeshared.com/22-photos-that-prove-babies-need-pets-number-17-especially/

Random stuff from Joanne too. Cynner you got me with your missing your dad -- I also lost my dad 13 years ago. Double sad was he passed away 4 months after my husband so I never really mourned him the way he deserved. Mom passed away two years ago and I miss her so very very much.
So I will tell you about me and the dragonflies. It is all tied with these losses.
Every Thursday I wear dragonflies, earrings, charms, brooches (yes I am old enough to wear brooches). I love collecting them in my travels.
Our local hospice has the Dragonfly as their symbol -- there is a beautiful story about the dragonfly and how it ties in with the death of a loved one.
My husband, my dad and my mom all died on a Thursday (husband and my dad died at the same minute of the day -- think about that one...) So in honour of these three people who shaped me into the person I am today I wear my dragonflies.

Marsha -- I LOVE dogs!!! Miss my girl so much but now I have grand-dogger and it's easier on us to travel

So happy Saturday everyone
Joanne

**HUGS!!** to all of you!

I am a fortunate woman. All of my parents (and I have 4 because my parents divorces and remarried) are still with me here. I just wish I lived closer and could see them more...especially my mom! No one can hug me like she can!

That being said, my oldest son lost his dad. We were never married and when I was pregnant with my son, he got scared and left. But once he met Tommy, he was in love. I think he loved his son more than he ever loved anything else in his life, including himself. When I moved to NC in 2004, Tommy decided to stay in Pennsylvania and live with his dad.

In March, 2006, Tommy was the front seat passenger in a car that was being driven by his very drunk cousin. The cousin was driving down a deserted road at a high rate of speed, hit a bump in the road, and lost control, hitting some trees. My son has a Guardian Angel, that's all I know, because he should not have survived. If you saw the pictures of that car...OMG! But he lived, although he crushed his pelvis, both front and back, and did other damage to his back and his ankle. He was sent to a trauma hospital first, to get him through the initial life-threatening dangers, and a week later he was transferred to Temple where he underwent a 12 hour surgery to put his pelvis back together.

In June, I got a random phone call from his dad. He told me how proud he was of Tommy because, after 3 months, he had taken his first steps since the accident. He also apologized to me for everything he had ever done. The next morning Tommy called me to tell me his father was dead. He died from a drug overdose. Tommy had called 911, watched as they worked on his dad, trying to revive him. My son still suffers from the memories and the loss, and never having been through it, I feel helpless to help him.

~ Marsha

<<HUGS>> to all.

Ok Random Stuff for the week -- change things up a bit.

I had to do some shopping on the weekend. First time I bought a new bra for two years (I am cheap LOL). I was measured properly and let's just say the girls are happy for the first time in a long time. Amazing what a difference a good fitting bra makes. Yes I used to watch What Not To Wear and listened to them harp on about a good bra but I just hate paying so much for underwear -- silly Joanne. Oh and PS I am down a size

What was your favourite purchase in the last few weeks (hey it could be a great cuppa coffee).

Joanne

Marsha- my uncle did that...still does and I lovd it. He is so gkod at it that the tkwn lets him have a pass whenthere is a drought., they lso supplied a rain barrel.

So here is so, e stuff going on with me, I'm a single parent and my ex hasnt seen Brandon in over 2 years...I dreaded the day I would here from him again after the first few months passed without him coming around. But I did hear from him to lower child support, and lets be real if I saw the money I was supposed to things would be easier but really its not about the money, it's about Brandon, for me it is anyway. But his reason gives me the nerves like you wouldn't believe...he said because he hasn't been allowed contact woth or seen the child in two years. So many emotions go through my head reading it and none of them include rainbows and unicorns...unless the unicorns are impaling him. But ive never had to go to court unless you count the ticket I fought but even then it wasnt in front of a judge. I don't know what to expect, ugh! I'm such a worrier! I need to stop I know, I'm done venting for now...except in the two years Brandon has become such a great kid...bias I know, but he uses manners, is nkce to almost everyone and just a decent kid. So idk! I worry that Brandon will change if his father sees him, I never said I picked a great guy, ok really done with rant. For now

Beck definitely a tough situation - can't even imagine. I would have a hard time dealing with this. Stay strong.

Joanne

Someday, Sue, this will all be behind you and you will have your own place again. Things always work out...perhaps not the way we want them to, but the way they are supposed to. Right now, you are where you are meant to be...helping your mom out...and inspiring the heck out of all of your MFP friends with your kind heart and encouraging words.

:flowerforyou: