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keep changing mind

Mbdb131
Mbdb131 Posts: 13
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hi,
Im new to this group but I have been researching the sleeve for a very long time. Im going through the testing stages now but my question is, how normal is it for a person to be wanting the surgery so bad and then getting scared and thinking they can lose the weight on their own if they try harder? I truly want this, but i am fearful because of a failed lap band that I had a few years back. My band slipped and i ended up needing it removed and I regained all the weight I lost since it was removed 5 yrs ago.

Please tell me these heard games i play with myself are normal? how do i get past this? i feel like I'm wasting my life away deciding if i should have the surgery or not. If i knew for sure i wouldn't have complications I would do it in a heartbeat!! Im just so afraid!

Replies

  • bikrchk
    bikrchk Posts: 516 Member
    All I can say is I didn't, but generally speaking, for better or worse, once I have made a big decision, I don't go back. I'm driving a car I HATE right now because of that! Gratefully though, I have zero buyers remorse with my VSG decision! I was WAY more afraid of what would happen if I didn't than if I did. My procedure went better than "textbook". I was release from the hospital in about 24 hours and back to work the next week. I can eat pretty much want I want now in very small quantities. I have my health and my life back now. Wouldn't trade it for the world!
  • sue100194
    sue100194 Posts: 129
    I think it's good that you keep questioning yourself and it sounds to me like you keep coming back to the same decision. I know I did. And I also knew that although I "could" lose the weight on my own, the real truth was that I hadn't and wouldn't. I needed help and the additional tool of WLS. To me, my weight loss before surgery was a lot like going to craft fairs or pinning craft projects on Pinterest....things I "could" make myself but either I don't do it or if I try, it's often pretty half-assed and doesn't turn out like the picture. Being honest with myself about why I needed to lose weight, what the best choices for me were and why I wanted to have a sleeve surgery was a conversation I had with myself quite a few times. But the answer ended up being the same, especially when I took "scared of surgery and any complications" off the table as an excuse not to move forward. I'm about 2 months post op now and feel like I've made a life-changing (in a good way) decision and am proud of the work I've done so far.
  • teachren
    teachren Posts: 78
    You are losing it "on your own" when you undergo VSG. You are in control of what goes in your mouth, you are in control of how much water you drink, and you decide how much you move. The fact you have a smaller stomach makes the journey quicker than losing without the sleeve and increases your odds of remaining successful with weight loss once you hit maintenance.

    Seriously, it takes commitment everyday. You have to change your relationship with food....you don't enjoy it at first because your eating is so limited. Once you get 8 or 9 months out it gets easier to deal with (but harder to lose! :) and I have really come back around to enjoying food. I just enjoy different things.

    I still remember the day I had a 1/2 of a pink grapefruit around Christmas this past year. I was blowing my sugar and carbs for that meal but I went for it. That was the most delicious and satisfying grapefruit I had ever had. Honestly, you'd think I was eating the most sinful dessert.

    I value you are afraid as you have had complications in the past but only you can decide if the move is right for you. I have read that revision from band may prove for a slower weightloss but I don't know that from personal experience.

    The advice I give anyone is what I did for myself. I immersed myself in literature, asked the Dr. a lot of questions and took a long look at my life and where I wanted to be in 5 years. From that...I made my decision. It is one of the best decisions I have made in my life and I'm certain you'll hear the VAST majority of people agree.

    Good luck with what you decide...come join "The Sleeved Life". Seriosly, we need a reality show!
  • lee91356
    lee91356 Posts: 330 Member
    Yes and No. First off you have experience with WLS, though not a successful one, so you understand that downside and reality of a loss if it doesnt work right. Second, this is a personal choice - a VERY personal choice.

    I have heard good and bad stories and as you know in the end its like any other weightloss tool (weight watchers, dieting, etc), if you dont do the proper work and upkeep then you will lose the results. I personally am of the opinion that if one is in good health, does need to lose less then 100 pounds, then there is no rush to have the surgery IF you have a good support system and have the option to defer the surgery (my insurance gives a one year margin to decide once your approved even if you lose weight on your own).

    Its sounds hypocritical of me to say that but that my opinion. But I think this is a serious surgery and when one does this is must be as serious, I had over 150 pounds to lose, and ALL the necessary co-morbid symptoms AND I was only 31. After a legit lifetime of being overweight (at 13 years old I was a size 14 and weighed 140 pounds) and struggling, finding out I had diabetes, high cholesterol and high blood pressure I realized that I need to make a change and quick before things got worse - I too wavered but in the end the thought of having to keep living with the continued medical issues for longer then necessary pushed me to get surgery and after less then 6 months all my labs and blood pressure were great.

    So do what you need to do for yourself and go through the process and see how you feel about it. When the time comes you'll do whats right for you. :smile:
  • KCSF
    KCSF Posts: 49 Member
    Oh my gosh! I know what you are saying.

    I was approved with a date just 10 days my pre-op visit and I had a panic attack. I walked out of the front door of the doctor's office thinking "shouldn't I just be able to do it on my own? Why can't I do it? Why put myself through surgery? What if something bad happens during surgery (like death) and this is an elective produre? What if it doesn't even work?" On and on and on... I drove around thinking for an hour and went to the gym for literally 4 hours. When I got home I wasso exhausted, I shower, and went to bed. I woke up the next morning and said, I have tried this on my own... I need help now. I made a list of everything I want to do that I can't now because of my weight, updated my will, and prayed.

    I am 2 1/2 weeks post-op and I'm glad I did it. I needed help, a tool. This was it. It was really hard but I'm glad I did it.
  • Mangopickle
    Mangopickle Posts: 1,509 Member
    Completely agree with teachren, you will be losing this yourself. I get pissed when people think it was all the surgery, cause everyone is noticing the 75 lb wt loss. This is the God's honest truth. The surgery will give you 20-30 lbs but after that it is all you every day choosing to not eat around the surgery. It is not easy. 50% of wt loss surgery pts regain within 5 yrs. I suggest counseling to fix your relationship with food. You cannot continue to medicate the stresses in your life with food and think surgery will cure it. I quit using food as a reward or medication prior to the surgery. I let go of my Kryptonite foods of wheat, rice and potato. I go to support group. Good luck
  • Pearlsbabygirl
    Pearlsbabygirl Posts: 22
    I'm so glad you posted! It's posts like yours that really help me along in my journey (and I really hate that word!)

    I finally made my FIRM decision last Monday, March 31, to have the surgery. It took find this website and your group for the final push! I'm sorry you had to go through what you did to get to this point, so I get why you are questioning..

    I initially went to the doctor (July, 2013) just to get information & walked out with a 'procedure'. That freaked me out! I just kept going through the process while I was deciding because I knew it took months for the insurance, all the tests, etc at the clinic I chose. I never had it in my mind that I was 100% going to do it. I was ALWAYS on the fence. 50 - 50. But all these wonderful people with what they have shared in this group, then the people I have met in my support group... and then I looked at the great group of supportive staff I have at my clinic... It's approved! My insurance has approved it, Why wouldn't I take advantage of this gift? I am one of the lucky ones! I had better jump at this opportunity, right?

    Well, It's a good thing I found this group and made my decision because my surgery is on the 23rd. I have started liquids. Good luck with making your decision. Just remember, it is YOUR decision to make. The right one will appear for you in time... :flowerforyou:
  • Mbdb131
    Mbdb131 Posts: 13
    so for those of you who have been sleeved do you find dieting to be just as difficult? or do you find the weight loss process easier with the tool? i hear people saying they work just as hard now since surgery and I wonder whats the point of having surgery then? i mean, to go through all that and not have any help seems useless. I would hope its not as much of a struggle but according to some of the posts I read, it is.

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